Prisoner of the Moon
by Linda Lupos
Summary: Sequel to "Remus Lupin"; "Prisoner of Azkaban" from Remus Lupin's point of view...
1. Back at Hogwarts

**Title: Prisoner of the Moon.**

**Rating:** euhm, I don't know. Make it PG-13. At least, it's not suited for your little brother/sister/whatever. 

**Disclaimers:** everything that's not familiar to you is mine, the rest is JK Rowling´s. 

**Pairings:** not that I'm aware of – yet. The only thing that I know for sure is that it's not going to be slash! 

**Spoilers: **for the first four books, especially the third one, "Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban". This fict even borrows complete scenes from that one…

**Author's Note:** Back by request! This is the sequel to my rather popular fanfiction called "Remus Lupin". As you can guess, the main character is Remus Lupin, everybody's favourite werewolf! Where "Remus Lupin" told his story from The Bite until him falling asleep in the Hogwarts Express in book 3, this story starts where "Remus Lupin" ended, at the Hogwarts Express, and it basically tells Prisoner of Azkaban from Remus' POV. 

For those wanting to read "Remus Lupin": it's on this site, so you can just check my profile, and there it is. You don't really have to read that one to understand this, though of course it makes this one more fun, so I recommend you read it. I must warn you, though, it's quite long… 

Well, that was everything I had to say. No, one more thing: I am aware that this chapter is long. Bad news for you: there are even longer chapters coming up! 

I'm not sure how often I´ll post a new chapter, but it will be at least once in two weeks, probably even more often. Unless, of course, nobody is reviewing, then I´ll just wait until someone does that…

Oh, and finally: I'm Dutch, English is my second language, so I deeply apologise for any spelling or grammar mistake made. I try to keep them out of my fict, but if they're there: it was not intentionally. 

Now, onto the story!

**Prisoner of the Moon.******

_The next instalment of "Remus Lupin".___

**September 1, 1993**.****

_"So we finally have a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher who knows his remedies."_

The huge black dog was chasing the stag, but only playfully. Its paws thundered on the ground. Suddenly, it turned around and barked a few times, calling for him to move on; the night was far too beautiful to stay hanging around in the forest. The brown wolf came out of the shadows and answered the call with a long howling. Without hesitation, the dog joined him. Two canines, both howling to the same moon. The stag stamped his hoof on the ground and the rat between its antlers squeaked as if to tell the larger animal to cut it out. The earth shook and the wolf heard heavy objects falling on the ground.

Remus woke up with a jolt. He sat upright, immediately completely awake. Though, was he awake? He knew he had his eyes opened but couldn't see a thing. Where was he? Oh, of course, the Hogwarts Express. But what was happening? Were they there yet? Why on earth had he fallen asleep –

"Come in and sit down – " He suddenly noticed he wasn't alone. Someone else was here too, several people by the sound of it.

"Not here! I'm here!"

"Ouch," someone exclaimed. 

"Quiet," Remus interrupted them, his voice hoarse, due to the lack of sleep in the past few days. Immediate silence. He took out his wand and waved with it. Flames appeared in his hands, so he could see around him, though the light was flickering and not really bright. 

"Stay where you are," he said to the children in the compartment, getting to his feet. First of all he needed to find out what was happening. But before he could even reach the door, it already opened. 

A freezing feeling washed over him. Occasions he did not want to recall, memories he had wanted to loose, suddenly appeared in his head. _"Remus – James and Lily, they're… they're – You Know Who killed them…" _

A Dementor. 

The creature stood there in the opening of the door, breathing heavily. A hideous looking hand appeared from out of the dark robes, but was quickly and suddenly drawn back. 

"Harry!" a brown-haired girl exclaimed. Remus tore himself away from the image of James saying goodbye and saw a black-haired boy with glassed pass out on the floor.

_Stupid twit, _he scolded himself._ Use your Patronus on that Dementor instead of crying about the past! _The next moment he had taken his wand, concentrated on a happy memory (acceptance to Hogwarts, always that memory) and muttered the charm. A silvery Patronus flowed out of the tip of his wand and the Dementor immediately turned and left. 

Only moments after that, the lights turned on again and the train started shaking; they were moving again. 

With a barely audible sigh of relief, Remus turned his face to the children in the compartment. Two red-heads, a rather fat boy, the girl with lightbrown hair and –

_O God, James – I mean Harry. What is he doing here?_

_Idiot, do the math, Harry's thirteen now. He's in his – third year.  _

The nameless girl with the bushy lightbrown hair was tapping Harry's face. On Harry's other side sat a boy with bright red hair and a long nose, looking worried. 

"Harry!" exclaimed the girl again and tapped Harry on the face. "Harry! Are you all right?" 

"W-what?" Remus sighed barely audible when he saw Harry open his eyes. The boy looked pale, and the beads of sweat on his forehead made him look like as if he was suffering from fever. His friends helped him on his seat.

"Are you OK?" asked the redhead. 

"Yeah," said Harry. Remus couldn't help but notice his quick glance to the door, where the Dementor had been standing. "What happened? Where's that – that thing? Who screamed?" 

"No one screamed," his friend replied, looking more nervous than before. 

At this point, Remus remembered his suitcase, and what he called his ´Dementor first aid kit´. Not noticed by anyone else in the compartment, he took a large slab of chocolate, removed the wrapper and started breaking it into pieces. The snap made the children look up in alarm.

"Here," Remus said to Harry, handing him the largest piece of chocolate. "Eat it. It'll help."_ You need it, you most of all…_

Harry took the chocolate but eyed it suspiciously. "What was that thing?" he asked.

"A Dementor," Remus answered, still breaking the slab of chocolate, and handing pieces out to everyone. "One of the Dementors of Azkaban." Naturally, the children stared at him as he crumpled the wrapper and put it in his pocket (no bin in sight).

"Eat," he repeated. He didn't want to scare the children, so talking about Dementors was the last thing he should do. "It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…"

He made his way out of the compartment and walked swiftly past the others. The students were unusually quiet. A few first-years practically jumped when they heard him coming. He flashed them a reassuring smile and finally reached the steam engine, where the driver, an elderly wizard, was sitting, looking not very pleased. He looked up when he saw Remus enter.

The younger man had never been there before, so he took a few moments to look around. Being the driver of the Hogwarts Express didn't seem like the hardest job around. Shovelling the coal into the engine was done magically, so all the driver actually had to do was start and stop at the right times, and make sure they weren't going too slow or too hard. The witch with the candy-trolley was sitting in the next compartment, knitting and reading a gossip-magazine, so the driver didn't need to be hungry either. The only problem was that it was boiling hot – literally. The roaring fire was almost white. The driver was wearing only a thin shirt, which was soaked with sweat. 

"Yeah, what do you want?" he asked almost hostile. 

"Sorry to bother you, but do you happen to have an owl here?" answered Remus politely. 

"The Dementors, eh? I got an owl right here." The driver of the Hogwarts Express guided Remus to the next compartment, where a small owl was dozing in a cage. Remus took a piece of parchment, a quill and some ink from the driver and started writing a note to professor Dumbledore.

"Did anything happen to a student, or something?" the driver curiously wanted to know. 

"Yeah, something like that," Remus replied vaguely, folded the letter and tied it to the owl's paw. Then he opened a window and the animal flew away. 

"Who are you, anyway?" was the next question. Remus was about to leave, but turned around in the door. "Remus Lupin, Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."

He had to admit to himself, while he was walking back to the last compartment, it sounded really cool. 

~*~

_They still haven't eaten the chocolate,_ was his first thought when he entered the compartment. Careful kids. He paused for a moment, smiled, and said "I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know…"

The five of them took a bit from their chocolate, and Remus could see the effect it had on them. As if they were warmed after being outside on a cold day. 

"We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes," he continued. "Are you all right, Harry?" He looked like he was, but it wouldn't hurt asking. 

Harry looking away, slightly embarrassed. "Fine," he muttered. 

Remus didn't push the subject, but walked with a few large steps to his seat and made sure his suitcase was still okay for the journey. The children were silent until they reached Hogsmeade station. They were in a hurry to get out, but Remus took his time. He picked up his suitcase and slowly made his way out. For him, this was also a journey back to his childhood, and he didn't want to rush. He waded through the small first-years (a much heard comment among the seventh-years was always "are we that tall or are they that small?") to the horse-less carriages. Rain fell down on them like thousands of little icy nails, and they all ran for the carriages. Remus shared his with three second-years, who were eyeing him suspiciously and didn't open their mouth for the whole journey. Not that he cared much, he was much too occupied with the familiar things he saw; the winged boars on the columns at the gates, the distant silhouette of Hogwarts castle with its many turrets and towers.  

After ten minutes or so, they arrived at Hogwarts. Hogwarts! It had been – how long ago? Ages, it seemed. Remus climbed out of the carriage and admired the view. It was as impressive as it was when he'd first seen the castle, over twenty years ago. 

"You_ fainted_, Potter? Is Longbottom telling the truth?" drawled a voice suddenly. "You actually_ fainted?" A blond boy was standing near Harry and his friends, looking utterly delighted. _

"Shove off, Malfoy," said Harry's red-haired friend. 

"Did you faint as well, Weasley?" continued Malfoy. "Did the scary old Dementor frighten you, too, Weasley?" The boy reminded Remus strongly of Severus Snape bullying Peter.

"Is there a problem?" he cut in. The blond boy turned and watched him disdainfully. Remus felt as though he was being measured and found wanting. The pale grey eyes went from the patches on his robes to his old suitcase. With a tone which could easily have been used by old Snape himself, he said "oh, no – er –_ professor_." He smirked at two large boys standing besides him and made his way into the castle. 

_Typical, _Remus thought._ That's going to be my favourite student… _

Suddenly noticing the rain that was still falling down, he also climbed up the steps and got in. He looked around, slightly in awe. It was all the same! The marble staircase, which led up to the Great Hall. The stairs which lead to the dungeons, the armours, the house crests on the wall – amazing. 

He didn't have long to look around, however. Filch, the caretaker, approached him and told him the house-elves would take care of his suitcase. 

"The Headmaster is already waiting for you in the Great Hall," he said. "You're late." The old man was watching Remus a bit suspiciously, no doubt he was recalling the many pranks the Marauders pulled. When it came to that, the man had a flawless memory. 

Rid of his suitcase, Remus walked with large steps up the marble staircase, into the Great Hall. Not pausing to look around (he was late, after all), he walked quickly and stealthily to the Staff Table. 

"Remus!" said an all-too familiar voice. Dumbledore. Remus couldn't suppress a smile when he saw the old Headmaster. Dumbledore looked exactly as Remus remembered it; the long silvery beard, the wide and luxuriously embroidered robes, the half-moon spectacles. "We started to fear you weren't coming." 

"Some trouble on the train," Remus explained shortly. Dumbledore nodding knowingly. 

"The Dementors." The old man looked sad and slightly depressed for a moment, then lifted an eyebrow. "And yesterday evening? No problems there?" 

"I fell ill, but not unexpectedly," said Remus, immediately falling back into the old habit of using innuendo and code-words when talking about the full moon and his Lycantrophy. "But I'm pleased to say I fully recovered." 

"Good, very good," answered Dumbledore. "Now, Remus, your seat is over there." He pointed to a chair next to professor Vector, the Arithmancy teacher. 

Remus was relieved. He had already imagined himself sitting next to stern professor McGonagall, wishing for the feast to end and careful not to say anything wrong. Professor Vector, on the other hand, was perfect. Arithmancy had always been one of Remus' best classes, and he took great interest in it. With such an interesting topic to discuss, dinner would be over before he even knew it. 

Determined, Remus started making his way to his seat. He had only taken a few steps, when someone stopped him. A voice he had not heard for years, associated with the last person he wanted to meet. 

"How sad, you fell ill. And what a pity you recovered."

~*~

The hairs on the back of Remus' neck immediately stood on end. He turned around, not wanting to believe what his ears told him. But it was only too true. There, greasy-haired, hook-nosed and with the same sallow skin and yellow teeth Remus remembered him with, stood Severus Snape. What on earth was he doing here?! 

Remus immediately looked at Dumbledore, but the old man conveniently managed to avoid Remus' glance. Without a doubt, the Headmaster had expected this and had chosen it better to 'forget' to tell Remus about his colleague. 

"Snape, what are you doing here?" he asked, finally. 

"It turned out, only a few weeks ago," the other man snarled, "that I have the unbearable pleasure of working alongside you. I'm even lucky enough to be allowed to make a certain potion for you which will help with you 'illness'."

Remus wanted to give a sarcastic reply, but was cut off by professor Flitwick, who entered with the first-years and the Sorting Hat. Both Snape and Remus sat down, each of them sometimes shooting glaring looks at each other. The Sorting Ceremony passed by unnoticed, as Remus' mind was working hard on a deadly comment for Snape. Childish, okay, but this was a matter of the Marauders code: never let a Slytherin, and especially not Snape, have the last word.    

Only the end of the Sorting Ceremony and the enter of professor McGonagall and Harry with his brown-haired friend interrupted his thoughts. Wondering as to where they could've been, Remus saw Dumbledore get to his feet, and he smiled slightly. What kind of fantastic speech had the Headmaster in store this year? 

The first part wasn't that fantastic, however. The old man warned the students for the Dementors, not revealing the true reason why the guards of Azkaban were at Hogwarts, yet advising the students to stay out of their way. Of course, the staff had been informed, and Remus couldn't help but think of it. Sirius. 

The reason was of course the unexpected escape of Sirius Black, the most famous prisoner of Azkaban. He had betrayed his best friends, Harry Potter's parents. Harry's story was known to everyone, but only a few people knew that Sirius had had _another_ best friend: Remus Lupin. Naturally, Remus' feelings towards Sirius weren't that friendly anymore…

Dumbledore had gone from the Dementors to the new teachers at Hogwarts. Remus himself was greeted with only a polite applause (not that he had expected more), but the surprising appointment of Hagrid as the Care of Magical Creatures was welcomed with a thundering applause.

After this, the feast begun. It was like every other feast Remus had enjoyed at Hogwarts: rich and satisfying, the golden plates filled with everything you could possibly want to eat, and the goblets filled with fresh pumpkinjuice. He took the opportunity to eat as much as he could, and by the end of the feast, he had the feeling he would never be hungry again, for the rest of his life. 

Dumbledore announced, finally, that it was time to go to bed, tomorrow was the first schoolday after all, and it seemed as if the students heartily agreed with him. The Great Hall emptied quite quickly, and it wasn't before long that the teachers were one of the few left. Snape had disappeared; Remus had seen him sneak away through a door behind his seat. Obviously it lead to the dungeons, the Potion Master's headquarters. 

"Remus?"

He turned around to find McGonagall standing behind him. 

"I´ll show you to your office and private chambers," she said, and immediately turned, apparently wanting him to follow, though she hadn't said that. 

Up the Marble Staircase, to the second floor, a few corners to the left, some more to the right – he had lost his sense of direction a few minutes ago – another staircase, another turn – finally. 

"This is your office," the Deputy Headmistress said, "and here – "she walked through the small office and opened a wooden door, "– are your private chambers. Bed, bathroom with shower and sink; you must be able to manage."

"Yes, thank you," he said, looking around and already feeling at home. 

"You're welcome," she replied, friendlier than he would've imagined. "And Remus – "

"Hm?" 

"Welcome back at Hogwarts," she continued. She sounded almost apologetic. "Some of the teachers – "she paused meaningfully, "– were reluctant to allow you here, but I am pleased to say, that I was not one of them."

As if she felt she had gone out of her way with saying this, she quickly apologised and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. Remus bit his lower lip as he thought about her words for a few moments, then shook his head. It was no use, worrying about professors who had problems with werewolves. He was at Hogwarts, he was a teacher himself, and a good one too, though he did say so himself, and he would show them what they would've missed. Oh yes would he show them! 

Packing his suitcase for the next day, Remus had the feeling this was going to be quite a year. 


	2. Boggart in the Wardrobe

**September 1993. **

_In no time at all, Defence Against the Dark Arts had become most people's favourite class._

The murmur of the class quickly faded when Remus entered, his suitcase in his hand and a friendly smile on his face. The first-year Ravenclaws watched him in eager anticipation, while he put his suitcase on the table. The schoolyear was only a few days old, but Remus, "professor Lupin" as the students called him, had already gained a reputation among the first-years of being friendly and easy-going._ But, _he thought_, that probably had something to do with their first potions lesson._ Even McGonagall, Remus mused, was friendly and easy-going compared to Snape. 

"Goodmorning," he said aloud, and the students muttered something back to the effect of "goodmorning professor Lupin".

"Today I´ll tell you something about gnomes. Has anyone of you ever seen one?" 

Several students raised their hands up in the air; no surprise, because gnomes were commonly found in gardens. 

Perhaps that was the secret of Remus' success: his love for the time-honoured fieldwork, for actually doing the things he told about, and his tendency to keep his examples close to home, in this case the garden. Practically everybody in his class had at least once encountered a gnome in their garden, so most of the students could relate to what Remus was telling.

He started the lesson with a few anecdotes from his own garden, then easily switched to the distinctive of a gnome and the way one can get rid of gnomes. The class obediently wrote down notes, paid attention to what their teacher was saying; it was in every way an easy lesson. Teaching turned out to be one of Remus' natural talents. Some people were good at flying, others showed talent in charms, to give some examples, but Remus' talent was teaching. He liked teaching stuff, educating children, and he had the gift of keeping a class silent without effort. 

The bell that signalled the end of this lesson came as a surprise. When he saw his students practically run out of the classroom, Remus figured giving homework would be no use; they would not hear it anyway. And besides, he was a bit in a hurry himself; it was time for lunch, and he was hungry…

_~*~_

_Friday September 6, 1993._

_Lunch. Snape is glaring at me. No, wait, rectification: Snape is glaring at me_ again. _Greasy nitwit. _

_Dumbledore and McGonagall are talking about advanced transfiguration, and I don't understand a thing of it. But then, the only thing I remember from Transf. is how to become an Animagus. Anyway, it must be a sign of how high the level of education is here: a teacher doesn't even understand what the other teachers are talking about. Well, sometimes_ nobody _understand Dumbledore at all, but… never mind._

_Hagrid it giving me funny looks. He probably think it's weird to write while you're eating. Let's wave at him; hiyah Hagrid. _

_Oh, and hiyah Snape. Enjoying your – whatever it is you're eating, I probably don't even want to know. Yeah, that's right, glare at the Gryffindors for a change. Which reminds me, if my memory's correct, I´ll be teaching Harry this afternoon. Let me check my timetable – yup. Third year Gryffindors. Let's hope they're nicer that the third year Slytherins I had yesterday… _

_O darn, two minutes left, practically everybody is already gone. I better get going then…_

~*~

The door of the classroom was open, and with his sensitive ears, Remus could hear the noise of the class from some distance._ He smiled inwardly when he thought about the lesson he'd prepared. A few days ago, Filch had found a Boggart in one of the wardrobes in the staffroom. Remus had asked Dumbledore to leave the creature in it. It would make a nice practical lesson. Children liked it, and his own experience told him that you learn better when you've done something yourself. _

Remus entered the classroom. The chatting vanished and the students were looking at him expectantly. He noticed Harry and his friends sitting together in the last row.

"Good afternoon," Remus said, placing his old suitcase on the desk. "Would you please put all your books back in your bags. Today's will be a practical lesson. You will need only your wands." He grinned inwardly when he saw their surprised and curious reactions as everybody put their books away. Clearly, they'd never had a practical lesson before. 

Remus waited patiently until everyone was ready to go. "Right then," he said. "If you'd follow me."

The students followed him through the deserted corridors, up and down some stairs, to the Staff room. Unfortunately, they found their road blocked halfway; Peeves the Poltergeist was floating in mid-air, upside-down, and busy stuffing something that looked like chewing gum in the keyhole of a door, apparently a closet for broomsticks.

The Poltergeist didn't seem to have noticed their presence until Remus was about two feet away. Peeves suddenly looked up, wiggled his feet and broke into a very off-key song. "Loony, loopy Lupin! Loony, loopy Lupin!" he sang – a song Remus hadn't heard in years, but immediately recognised from his own schooldays. Being original was hard indeed. 

The students behind Remus seemed somewhat astonished by the Poltergeist's rude behaviour, but Remus himself was merely amused and rather unimpressed. 

"I'd take that gum out of the keyhole if I were you, Peeves," he said pleasantly. "Mr. Filch won't be able to get in to his brooms."

He hadn't really expected Peeves to do as he told him. The annoying poltergeist just ignored him and blew a loud wet raspberry. 

Remus gave a small sigh and took out his wand. _What was the best spell for this?_ In his head, he heard Peter whine at James and him: "Sirius put chewing gum in the lock of my trunk and now I can't open it anymore!" _Ah, but of course._

"This is a useful little spell," he told the silent class over his shoulder. "Please watch closely."

He raised the wand to shoulder height, said, "_Waddiwasi_! "and pointed it at Peeves.

The effect was as spectacular as he remembered it. The disgusting-looking and apparently chewed on wad of chewing gum shot out of the keyhole, straight through Peeves´s left nostril. The poltergeist abruptly turned upright again and zoomed away, shouting words the students of Hogwarts were definitely not allowed to say. 

"Cool, sir!" said a boy Remus recognised as Dean Thomas, sounding impressed.

"Thank you, Dean," he replied casually, pocketing his wand again. "Shall we proceed?" 

They walked on, a soft and respectful murmur behind him. A corridor later, they were standing in front of the door to the staffroom. 

"Inside please," said Remus, opening the door and stepping back to allow everyone to enter.

The staffroom was a long, panelled room, filled with old but comfortable chairs that didn't match each other. It had a huge fireplace, perfect for cold and long evenings. There were several bookcases and closets containing the most fascinating magical objects along the wall. There was a painting with the four founders of Hogwarts above the mantelpiece, and next to the fireplace there were four hourglasses, one for every house, showing how much points each house had earned or lost.  

There were no teachers in the staffroom, except for one, accidentally the last person Remus wanted to see now. Snape was sitting in a low armchair made of dark carved wood and black velvet. When he heard the door opening, he looked around as the students walked in. His dark eyes were shining maliciously, and his perpetual sneer was playing around the corners of his mouth. When he saw Remus enter the room right after Neville Longbottom, he raised one eyebrow like only Snape could, and he said: "Leave the door open, Lupin. I´d rather not witness this." 

He rose to his feet, pushing his robes back with his long fingers, and strode to the door, until he was face to face with Remus. He turned to glare at the class. "Perhaps no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you no to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear."

He turned again to look at Remus, a demonical smile on his face. Remus raised his eyebrows, looking Snape straight in the eyes. 

"I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first stage of the operation," he said coolly, "and I am sure he will perform it admirably."

Snape´s lip curled in a disbelieving sneer, but he left, his robes billowing behind him, shutting the door with a snap.

Remus sighed barely audible. "Now, then." He beckoned the class towards one end of the room. There was nothing but an old, much-used wardrobe in which the teachers kept their spare robes. Remus positioned himself next to it, showing no sign of surprise when the wardrobe shook and wobbled, banging off the wall as if it was possessed.

"Nothing to worry about," Remus said calmly. "There's a Boggart in there." 

It looked as if his students didn't seem to agree with him on the "not to worry"part, because quite a few went pale, and Neville looked as if he was wishing he was somewhere else.

"Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces, " Remus began the lesson. He was pleased to see that some students had actually taken a writing block with them, and were taking notes. "Wardrobes," he continued, "the gap beneath beds, the cupboard under sinks – I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock_." My own grandfather's grandfather clock actually... "This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third years some practice." He smiled at the class._

"So, the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a Boggart?" 

Hermione Granger's hand shot in the air. Remus nodded at her. 

"It's a shape-shifter," she said. "It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most." 

"Couldn't have put it better myself," Remus complimented her. Her face lit up with pride. 

"So the Boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form," he continued. "He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. Nobody knows what a Boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears." Neville let out a small sputter of utter terror, his face pale. 

"This means," Remus said, ignoring Neville, "that we have a huge advantage over the Boggart before we begin. Have you spotted it, Harry?" 

The black-haired boy was doing some quick thinking, with Hermione jumping up and down next to him, her hand in the air. 

"Er – because there are so many of us, it won't know what shape it should be?" he tried.

"Precisely," Remus complimented, and Hermione put her hand down, looking a little disappointed. "It's always best to have company when you're dealing with a Boggart. He becomes confused. Which should he become, a headless corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I once saw a Boggart make that very mistake -- tried to frighten two people at once and turned himself into half a slug. Not remotely frightening." Some of the students smiled amusedly.

"The charm that repels a Boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a Boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing. We will practice the charm without wands first. After me, please... _Riddikulus_!"

"_Riddikulus!" chimed the class together._

"Good, very good. But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone is not enough. And this is where you come in, Neville." 

The wardrobe shook again when Neville stepped forward, looking as if he was about to die of terror. 

"Right, Neville," Remus said to the boy. "First things first: what would you say is the thing that frightens you most in the world?"

Neville moved his lips, his eyes round and frightened, but he didn't utter a word. Even with his werewolf-ears, Remus couldn't hear a word. "Didn't catch that, Neville, sorry," he said cheerfully. 

Neville looked around him with a look of terror as if he was a small rabbit being hunted, then said, barely audible: "professor Snape." 

The class laughed out loud. Even Neville grinned sheepishly. Remus, on the other hand, was not really amused. He could've guessed, actually. Snape had a habit of picking on the weaker talented, and the short scene with the potion master when they'd entered the staffroom didn't exactly hint at a friendly student-teacher relation either.  

"Professor Snape… hmmm…" he said thoughtfully. "Neville, I believe you live with your grandmother?" _Of course, Frank Longbottom and his wife were tortured by Voldemort, the boy has to live with a relative of his, his parents can't take care of him._

"Er… yes," answered Neville nervously. "But – I don't want the Boggart to turn into her either."

"No, no, you misunderstand me," said Remus smiling. "I wonder, could you tell us what sort of clothes your grandmother usually wears?"

Neville looked somewhat puzzled, but said, "Well... always the same hat. A tall one with a stuffed vulture on top. And a long dress... green, normally... and sometimes a fox-fur scarf."

"And a handbag?" asked Remus.

"A big red one," said Neville.

"Right then," said Remus. "Can you picture those clothes very clearly, Neville? Can you see them in your mind's eye?"

"Yes," said Neville uncertainly, obviously wondering what Remus' point was.

"When the Boggart bursts out of this wardrobe, Neville, and sees you, it will assume the form of Professor Snape," said Remus. "And you will raise your wand – thus – and cry 'Riddikulus' – and  concentrate hard on your grandmother's clothes. If all goes well, Professor Boggart Snape will be forced into that vulture-topped hat, and that green dress, with that big red handbag."

The class roared with laughter at that mental image. The wardrobe reacted with wobbling more violently. 

"If Neville is successful, the Boggart is likely to shift his attention to each of us in turn," continued Remus. "I would like all of you to take a moment now to think of the thing that scares you most, and imagine how you might force it to look comical..."

The students went quiet, each thinking of what would scare them the most. Remus observed them, trying to guess what each one feared the most. Harry had closed his eyes, a frown on his face. _What would scare you the most, Harry? _Remus thought. _Not Snape, that's for sure. After all you've been through… _There was only one thing Remus could come up with: Voldemort. For one short moment, he imagined Voldemort coming out of that closet, his red eyes glittering devilishly, his wand raised – ready to strike…

_How do you make a murdering Voldemort look comical? I mustn't allow Harry to face the Boggart. If Voldemort – it would only cause panic… _

Remus suddenly noticed that about everybody was finished and watching him expectantly. "Everyone ready?" he asked. "Neville, we're going to back away," he told the round-faced boy. "Let you have a clear field, all right? I´ll call the next person forward… everyone back, now, so Neville can have a clear shot."

All the students stepped back against the walls, leaving Neville along in front of the wardrobe. His face was pale, but it had a determined look on it. He had pushed up the sleeves of his black robes and was holding his wand ready to strike. 

"On the count of three, Neville," Remus said, pointing his own wand at the handle of the wardrobe. "One, two – three – now!" 

_Alohomora! _

A jet of golden sparks shot from the tip of his wand and hit the doorknob. The door of the wardrobe burst open, and out came Snape. Hook-nosed, sallow-skinned and menacing, the potion master advanced at Neville. The poor boy seemed numb with fear, his mouth moving wordlessly. Boggart-Snape was glaring at him, reaching inside his robes for God-knew-what. 

"_R-r-riddikulus_!" stuttered Neville in a squeaky voice. 

There was a sound like a whip cracking. Remus suddenly realised that the Marauders would have given _everything to witness this. Snape was suddenly dressed in a long, green, lace-trimmed dress. He had a huge hat topped with a moth-eaten stuffed vulture on his head, and there was a huge crimson handbag in his left hand. He looked completely ridiculous. _

He stumbled on the hem of the dress, and the class roared with laughter. The Boggart looked confused. Remus took this opportunity to shout: "Parvati! Forward!"

Parvati Patil stepped forward, looking determined. Boggart-Snape turned towards her. another crack sounded, and the Boggart had suddenly changed into a bloodstained mummy. It started to walk towards Parvati, who raised her wand and yelled "_Riddikulus!" _

Suddenly, one of the mummy's bandages got loose, and the mummy tripped over it. It fell face-first on the floor, its head rolling off. 

Seamus Finnigan was next. He practically ran past Parvati. Another crack, and suddenly there was a woman standing where the mummy had been. She had floorlength hair and a greenish face – it was a banshee. She opened her mouth and let out an earpiercing shriek. Seamus shouted "_riddikulus_!", and suddenly her voice was gone.   

Rats, snakes, eyeballs – "It's confused! We're getting there! Dean!" said Remus, his voice raised in excitement. Dean Tomas hurried forward. The Boggart turned into a severed hand. A "_riddikulus" later it was trapped in a mousetrap._

"Excellent!" was Remus' comment. "Ron, you next!" 

Harry's red-haired friend stepped forward. The Boggart suddenly took the shape of a giant spider, about six feet tall and covered in black hair. It turned all it's eyes to Ron, clicking his pincers and tapping it's paws on the floor. Ron looked frozen, but he raised his wand and bellowed "_riddikulus_!" The spider's legs disappeared and the creature fell on the floor, rolling over and over. Lavender Brown jumped out of the way. The animal came to a halt before Harry's feet, and he'd already raised his wand when Remus shouted: "Here!", stepping forward to get the boggart's attention. 

Another crack sounded. 

The giant leg-less spider had vanished. Everybody was turning their heads to see where the Boggart had gone. 

Remus was admiring the silvery orb hanging before his face, the soft glow ethereal. It was hardly the first Boggart he'd fought, he was used to the shape it took by now. He raised his wand, almost sorry to make it disappear. "_Riddikulus_," he said calmly.  

Crack!

The Boggart turned into a cockroach. One of the best pranks that the Marauders had ever pulled was setting about ten dozens of cockroaches free near the Slytherin common room. They had crept through small holes inside the domains of the hated students. Filch had had a really hard time getting rid of all the bugs ("The cockroaches, not the Slytherins," James and Sirius always said when they were talking about the Cockroach-adventure, as they called it) and Snape had tried to strangle Sirius when he'd found out the cockroaches had crawled inside the cauldron he used for his special potions-project. The little bugs had ruined the work of two months… Remus still had to laugh at the mere memory of it.

The Boggart-cockroach crawled on the floor. "Forward, Neville! Finish him of!" 

Another crack. Snape was back, sneering and striding toward Neville. The boy raised his wand determinedly. "_Riddikulus!" he shouted. For a split second, Snape was back in his lacy dress. Then Neville burst out in a roar of laughter, and the Boggart exploded in a thousand tiny bits of smoke. The creature was gone. _

"Excellent!" said Remus over the applause of his students. "Excellent, Neville. Well done, everyone. Let me see…" He thought a moment about the grading for this project. "Five points to Gryffindor for every person to tackle the Boggart – " The hourglass filled with red sand immediately filled up, and the golden numbers changed. " – ten for Neville because he did it twice… and five each to Hermione and Harry."

"But I didn't do anything," protested Harry.

"You and Hermione answered my questions correctly at the start of the class, Harry," Remus answered, keeping his voice lightly. "Very well, everyone, an excellent lesson. Homework, kindly read the chapter on Boggarts and summarise if for me… to be handed in on Monday. That will be all." 

An excited chatter rose as the students started flooding out of the staffroom again. Remus could hear them talking about the Boggart – "Did you see me take that banshee?" "And the hand!" "And Snape in that hat!" "And my mummy!" – and he smiled to himself. With one wave of his hand, he closed the wardrobe. After a last glance to see if everything was as it used to be, Remus left the staffroom, closing the door softly behind him, and he made his way back to his classroom.


	3. Full Moon

**September 1993.**

_"He could feel the moon waiting just at the edge of the day, like a secret lover who knew that though he ought not to come to her, he would not be able to stay away." _

"I figured that, since Neville appeared to be a somewhat frightened person, and since he was so humiliated by Severus, he would be the perfect person to try and make a first move against the Boggart. I asked him what his worst fear was, and it turned out to be Severus! Well, how do you make him appear less frightening? There are various ways, but I thought that this one was the best. I could've guessed though that the story would be all over Hogwarts in a matter of hours." 

Dumbledore nodded. "That is indeed unfortunate."

"Especially that Severus didn't think it as funny as everybody else did," said Remus casually, taking another sip of tea from his chipped mug. He and the Headmaster were sitting in Remus' office. Dumbledore had inquired after Remus' side of the story about the Boggart. The school was whizzing with gossip, one more fantastic than the other, about how Snape had been dressed up in Neville's Grandmother's clothes. Snape – how surprising – had not been amused, and when he'd head the story, he'd practically had a heart-attack and exploded with rage. Or so rumours said.  

"Would _you_ think it funny if a student dressed you, or at least a Boggart that took your shape, up in such an, ehm, original outfit?" Dumbledore wanted to know, his eyes shining. 

"No, but it would never happen anyway, because I'm not – " Remus struck a dramatic pose, and cried out "- Severus Snape, feared Potion Master and Head of Slytherin House!"  Dumbledore chuckled. 

"Thank God I'm not," Remus continued. "I'd hate having to act like him all day." 

"It is just how he is, Remus," said Dumbledore friendly. "At least, that's how he is when you don't know him very well. He's simply not into being friendly, he likes his solitude." 

"Why would somebody _want_ solitude?" asked Remus, his tone somewhat bitter. 

"Why? There are as many reasons as there are people. And who are we to dictate how other people should live? Let him live his own life, Remus."

Remus sighed. "Okay, I´ll be good. I won't annoy him anymore. I'll try, at least." 

"Excellent." Dumbledore rose to his feet. "I must be going. Let's try and get the same promise out of Severus."

"Might I suggest _Imperio_?" Remus clapped his hands before his mouth. "I didn't just say that." 

"Remus…" said Dumbledore sternly. 

"Okay, I did," sighed Remus. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again." 

"Good. Oh, before I forget to mention it, we have a Staffmeeting in two weeks."

"What day?" asked Remus, taking his agenda.

"Thursday."

"That's three days after the full moon, which is on a Saturday," said Remus, leafing through his agenda. 

"Then I´ll also ask Severus to make you some Wolfsbane Potion," said the Headmaster. He smiled. "Maybe it's best when you stay away from the dungeons for a couple of days, unless you want your ears hexed off." 

Remus bit back a sarcastic comment about Snape´s ears being hexed off, and instead he nodded. "Thank you, professor." 

"I´ll leave you to, well, whatever it was you were doing." 

"Grading essays, actually," sighed Remus, rolling his eyes. "With you gone, I have to find a new excuse for not doing it…" 

~*~

The next few days passed by fairly peacefully. With the Boggart, Remus had earned himself the respect of the entire school – save the Slytherins of course – and for a while he enjoyed the approving glances of his students (he wisely ignored Draco Malfoy´s comment that his Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher dressed like a house-elf). But Remus' new-found popularity was soon forgotten because of a far more important matter. Hagrid. 

The Gamekeeper-made-teacher was just as popular, but his style of teaching had proven to be far more dangerous. Young Malfoy had been attacked by one of Hagrid´s hippogriffs, one called Buckbeak. Remus, knowing the friendly Hagrid, was sure it had been an accident, and he even suspected the Slytherin of intentionally setting Buckbeak off, but that didn't help matters much. The animal was likely to be executed. 

And there was also Harry, who had to deal with his very own problems. Remus couldn't help but see the boy as, well, practically his own son. Harry looked so much like James it was eerie, and it was hard for Remus _not to care about the boy, to favour him above the other students. Professor McGonagall had told Remus about what had happened during Harry's first Divination class, when they were studying the tea leaves. Remus had to admit the boy was keeping himself exceptionally good, considering that prediction and the rumours about Sirius Black. _

Yes, Sirius. Remus thought briefly about him while he was walking down the Marble Staircase, towards the dungeons, for his last dose of Wolfsbane. He was surrounded by cheerful students, who were happy that it was Saturdayevening – finally, it seemed – but he wasn't feeling cheerful. Not at all, actually. The escaped prisoner Black had been seen not so very far away from Hogwarts. The staff was worried, but probably none of them more than Remus. Remus knew that Sirius knew of the hidden entrances to Hogwarts, he had found most of them himself. Would he be able to sneak past the Dementors, using one of those entrances? And if he could, what then? Kill Harry? And then? Dumbledore? It could very well happen. Sirius had been a follower of Voldemort, after all, so Dumbledore would be next.

And what if Sirius was in his dog form? Nobody would suspect an innocent looking dog. The only person alive who knew Sirius' other form was Remus. Should he tell anyone? But if he told someone, it would be admitting that he'd broken the rules. Dumbledore would never trust him again… 

He almost walked headlong into a heavy wooden door. He blinked, then he recognised the dungeons. Or better: he recognised the stench. 

Others would not probably not qualify the scents hanging in the air as "stench", but to Remus and his sensitive nose, it was like opening a sewer. His nostrils were being attacked from different sides, and he felt the urge to throw up or something. He swallowed heavily, then braved himself, breathed through his mouth, and knocked on the door. 

"Enter." 

~*~

_Snape´s office is bigger than mine. _That was Remus' first thought when he entered the Potion Master's domain. Here, the stench was possibly even worse than outside. 

Snape was sitting behind his desk, a black quill in his hand and a scroll in front of him. The dungeon was lit only by a few candles, creating a dark and threatening atmosphere. The flickering candles cast a restless shadow on the walls, and it almost seemed as if the slimy things in the glass jars were moving. Remus felt a shiver go down his spine. 

Or maybe that was just the stench. 

"What are you doing here?" Snape spoke barely audible, his voice just above a whisper. He didn't seem too pleased to see Remus. The feeling was mutual.  

"I've come for the Wolfsbane Potion," Remus replied, breathing in shallow gasps. _For the last day, thank God. _

"I thought Dumbledore would bring it to you." Snape made no effort whatsoever to get up and get the potion, so Remus had to endure the smell. He had no idea how much longer he could take. 

"He was going to," he said, "but he told me he had something else to do." 

"Yes, something more important, I bet, than bringing a potion to a werewolf." Finally, Snape rose to his feet and strode (you could hardly call it something else with those long robes) to a shimmering cauldron. The liquid in it was thick, and it's colour was somewhere between green and grey. In one word: disgusting. Remus flinched, and Snape, seeing the expression on his face, smirked. The Potion Master took a goblet from the table, picked up a spoon and poured some of the potion into the goblet. Then he held it out to Remus, who took it and immediately knew where the stench was coming from. 

Remus' head jerked sideways in an involuntary spasm and his hand flew to his nose. "How on earth can you stand that?!" he said.

"What?" Snape replied, his voice irritated. 

"Never mind." Remus held the goblet firmly in one hand, tried not to think about the smell, and swallowed it all in three large gulps. He threw the goblet back onto the table and made his way out of the dungeons without a further word to Snape. 

After five minutes of studying his bathroom, especially the toilet, everything in his stomach was back to normal again… 

~*~

Remus watched the night fall through the windows of his office. He was wearing barely more than a T-shirt and loose-fitting robes. He was ready for the transformation, and at the same time dreading it. The same feeling he had every month, only this time the feeling of anxiety (and fear?) was worse than usual. He knew that he would keep his human mind with the Wolfsbane Potion, he had experienced it before, but that also meant he would fully experience the pain of the transformation. And that was not something he was looking forward to. On the contrary, actually… 

A sting of pain almost made him go through his right leg. It always started with his right leg, the leg in which he had been bitten, so long ago. He quickly limped towards the rug in front of the fireplace and sat down. Something itchy ran over his legs like thousands of spiders. A lightbrown fur already covered his feet, his legs… he took of his robes and the T-shirt and watched himself transform, objectively, as if it wasn't his own body but someone else's. 

_Look, there it goes, hair on my hips, on my stomach, funny how it climbs upwards. My arms, and now my hands are gone.. o my God. The pain…_

After the fur always came the snap of bones. He gasped for breath. The pain was so intense he had to bite his lower lip until it bled to keep himself from screaming. If he hadn't been so occupied with that, he would've been able to see how his hands and feet changed into claws. The bones moved as if there was something crawling under his skin. It was sickening, sickening fascinating. 

It seemed to him that it took hours, but in reality, it was only a minute or ten. It took a mere ten minutes to completely reform his spine and his bones, to grow a thick lightbrown fur, to make his eyes a darker yellow, to reshape his ears and to make his nails grow an inch. Ten minutes to change from man to wolf. 

Professor Remus J. Lupin was no longer there. Instead, there was a huge wolf crouched on the rug in front of the fireplace. For a moment, it sniffed interestedly when its nose picked up the smell of humans, then Remus got control of the animal. He yawned. He couldn't do anything now, so what was the use in staying awake?

He curled up on the rug and fell asleep. 

~*~

The next morning, he woke up to see the moon just above the horizon. It wouldn't take long now… sure enough, he could feel the itching start again. His body was still aching from the first change, but he would have to undergo it all one more time. He waited patiently for it to start. The sight was less nauseating now. This time you couldn't see the moving bones that good because of the thick fur. 

When the painful process was finished, he just lay there, gasping for breath, on the rug. He couldn't care less that he was bruised and bare naked. No person in their right mind would come in at this time anyway. 

He got cold after a while, so, with some effort, he picked himself up from the floor and slowly made his way to his bathroom. He took a long, hot shower. He just sat there on the floor and let the warm water fall on him. He nearly fell asleep, but remembered just in time that it wasn't a good thing to wake up looking like one large wrinkle, so he got up again, sighing, turned off the water and limped to his medicine cabinet, behind his mirror. 

A pale, hollow-eyed face stared at him, and it took a while before he realised he was looking at himself.

"Remus, you look like a living corpse," he told his reflection. Mirror-Remus said the same thing, and he heartily agreed with himself. He opened the medicine cabinet and took out a purple bottle with a transparent liquid. He swallowed the medicine in one gulp and quickly limped to his bed. The rather strong painkiller was a mix of a sleeping potion and the wizard form of aspirin. Remus would be in a deep, near-unconsciousness sleep while his body fixed itself up as good as it could. The potion worked fast, really fast, so he had to be on a soft underground, preferably his bed, or he would be walking around with a bruise on his head tomorrow. The potion didn't heal bruises. 

Remus had hardly rested his head on his pillow or he felt the familiar drowsiness. His vision became blurred, and he had just enough consciousness left to pull the covers over himself. Then, the world went a quiet, peaceful black. 


	4. Staff meeting

**YAY! Only one week to go before book 5 comes out… *does a happy dance* **

**Hmm, I completely forgot to mention where the quote above the last chapter came from. It was from the excellent book "Oz; into the wild" from a writer who's name I can't remember, and it was about Oz, the werewolf from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I figured that it was an appropriate quote to put at the beginning of a chapter about the full moon…**

**This chapter has sneering!Snape in it! Yay!**

**October 1993.**

_"Professor Snape, the Potions master, was staring along the staff table at Professor Lupin."___

Remus opened his eyes drowsily, his eyelids still heavy with sleep. He slowly lifted his head from his pillow and looked at the window, the only source of light in the room. To his surprise, a blue-eyed beauty was smiling back at him. _Huh?_

"Huh?" he said intelligently. 

"Goodmorning," she whispered back. "Have you slept well?" 

"Euh, okay, I guess…"  He blinked a few times and ran his hand through his hair. He couldn't help but notice that it was standing right up in the messy fashion that was so typical for early mornings, before one has seen a mirror. "Uhm… what are you doing here?" He paused for a moment, then added "in my bed?" 

"Keeping you company, of course," she said, as if it was completely logical. 

"Ah, right." He thought about this for a few minutes. If this was some kind of joke somebody played on him, it certainly wasn't an unpleasant one. Who would play such a joke on him anyway? But it was still a mystery… oh well. 

He shrugged the questions off and rolled on his back. She – whoever she was – took immediate advantage of this and laid her head on his chest. Comfortable. 

"What are you going to do today?" she asked. 

"Hmmm, teaching, as usual," he replied sleepily. It felt nice, having her here. "And there's a staffmeeting this afternoon." He sighed. "With Snape, unfortunately." 

"Can't you just say you're ill or something?" she suggested. 

"Why?" 

"So you can stay in bed, have a lie-in. Maybe do something else…" she ended seductively. 

He laughed. "That isn't a bad idea indeed." He pulled her closer and she changed into a pillow. _Huh? _

Realisation came with a clock. A huge grandfatherclock just outside Remus' door struck six o'clock in the morning, and the echoing strikes woke him up completely. _It hadn't been real, it had all been – ow that's just gross. _

He tossed the pillow to the other end of the room. This was no doubt the worst way to wake up: a mindsplintering headache, muscles that seem to live their own lives, a staffmeeting coming up, which meant being in one room with the person Remus hated the most (well, apart from Sirius, naturally) for more than two hours, and to top it all hallucinations of Witch Miss England in his bed. Yuck. 

_Not that I don't want her in my bed_, he was talking to himself while somehow getting out of bed without falling on the ground, _after all, I'm not lacking anything in the hormonal field. But it's just – He stared in the mirror. _

_It's just what? _his messy reflection wondered. 

"It's just that I need a comb and a cup of coffee, else I´ll kill someone. How about Snape?"

_Excellent suggestion._

I thought so. 

~*~

_Coffee, coffee, my kingdom for some coffee… _The words danced through his head and sang childishly. Remus waded through the students walking up the Marble Staircase to the Great Hall for breakfast.

"Goodmorning professor Lupin," several of them greeted him. He even managed to greet back, a tired "goodmorning". 

"Our first match's against Slytherin," Harry was telling Ron. Although he was at the bottom of the stairs, and Remus almost at the top, he could hear every word. 

"But Malfoy´s arm…" the redhead protested. "I mean, the way he's been acting the past days…" 

"C´mon, it's almost a month away," Harry stayed positive. "He won't let his arm keep him from playing Quidditch, you think?" 

Remus couldn't hear any more because the sea of students forced him into the Great Hall. He made his way to his seat, ignoring the Slytherins who were making fun of his tired appearance (he could hear them even though they were thinking they were whispering). 

"Remus," Dumbledore greeted him. The old man was sitting on his throne-like chair, enjoying breakfast. "Have you had a good night sleep?" 

"A night sleep, but a good one?" Remus replied, sitting down and forcing his arm to take his breakfast and put it in his mouth. 

"What's the matter, Lupin?" Snape hissed. "Bad dreams? Monsters under your bed – oh no, I forgot. You are the Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers. You are – _qualified to get rid of, shall we say, __children's fears?" _

Remus ignored him, ignored the sniggers from Slytherin table – _why do we have to sit so close to them?_ – ignored everything and everybody and concentrated on eating his breakfast, the taste of his coffee, the sound of his students packing their things and walking to his classroom, the feeling of his own feet on the staircase, his fingers opening his books, his voice informing children how to deal with a zombie, the question of a student. He concentrated on living through the day. 

~*~

Dumbledore tapped his fingers on the table and the assembled teachers silenced. Remus was sitting between professors Vector and Sprout, and opposite Binns. It was a bit unnerving at first, to be able to see right through the ghostly professor, but Remus found out you get used to it pretty quickly. At least Binns never blocked the light when he was sitting in front of a window…

Remus had also found out that professor Sprout was drying flowers in her agenda. When she'd leafed through it to find the right page, his nose had caught the particular and familiar scent of lavender, a strong, somewhat sweet smell. A quick glance to his left told him that he was right: he saw small, purplish flowers, pressed between the 8th and 9th of September. 

"Smells nice," he had commented. Judging from the way she slammed her agenda shut, he had surprised her.

"Oh, just a hobby of mine," she said, blushing a bit. 

"Do you have other flowers, or herbs, in it?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going. 

"Yes," she answered. "Here're roses – " on December 15th and 16th "- Daisies – " on January 8th and 9th "- and mint." She held up the pages of march 31st and April first. "You smell it?" 

"Yes, I do." He didn't even needed to bow his head towards the tattered little book. He was almost wishing he hadn't asked – the scent was a bit too strong for his liking. 

On his right hand there was professor Vector, almost in every way the opposite of professor Sprout. While Sprout was short and somewhat plump, Vector was tall and almost skinny. He was precise and organised in every part of her life, from the way she dressed – matching colours, polished shoes, neatly combed hair – to the way she organised her lessons. No flowers in her agenda, but countless diagrams, mathematical calculations, illegible numbers. It was obvious that her passion was Arithmancy.    

"I would like to open this meeting," Dumbledore said. "It's October the first, 1993." An enchanted feather started scribbling down everything the Headmaster said. "Are there any announcements or questions before we begin?" 

Madame Hooch, the flying instructor raised her hand. "I have a question. There's a Quidditch match in four weeks. What about the Dementors? Are they going to guard the field or what?"

"As I have said many times before, the Dementors are not allowed on the grounds," answered Dumbledore. "Having them here at Hogwarts is trouble enough as it is, and I don't want them stalking around and frightening the students." Everybody in the room shifted uncomfortably in their chairs; the Azkaban guards gave everybody the creeps. 

"Any more questions?" Nobody reacted. "Good. We will discuss individual students later, first I would like to talk about the lessons. Any comments on that or are things just going perfectly fine?" 

"Uhm, no, actually not," Remus said. Snape, who had been writing something on a sheet of parchment, immediately looked up. His eyes were shining maliciously. 

"You see, the problem is that all the students are horribly behind when it comes to the Dark Arts." Remus saw Snape looking at him, and he added: "all except the Slytherins of course."

Dumbledore ignored this and the smirk that was creeping up Snape's face. "Do you have any idea why?" 

"Well, I asked them what they'd learned last year, and the answer was: practically nothing. From what I've heard, Gilderoy Lockhart had quite a peculiar way of teaching." 

"Indeed, that's the right way to say it," sneered Snape. "Quite peculiar. But I was under the impression that you were using _quite peculiar methods yourself." _

"Only when it leads to an increase of knowledge, and I have not seen such with my students," Remus bit back. "When I told them you need to give a Zombie salt to get rid of it, they were utterly amazed. And that is first years theory!" 

Dumbledore raised his hand to get attention. "How bad is the damage? You think you can drag them up to the required level?" 

"I'm already working on it," Remus answered truthfully, "but I'm not really sure if I can fix the 'damage', as you call it, completely." 

"I understand," the Headmaster said, meanwhile watching the quill write Remus' words down. "Do try the best you can." Remus assured him he would try the best he could. 

"Now," Dumbledore continued. "Anything else troubling you? Severus?" Snape's head jerked upwards again. "What?" 

"Is there anything you would like to say?" 

"Not at all, Headmaster." 

"Perfect," the silverhaired wizard said cheerfully. "We'll continue with the students then. They've all behaved like good children the past weeks, so this will be short, no doubt. Who are we going to discuss?" 

"The Weasley twins!" everybody said simultaneously, followed with laughter. 

"We seem to agree about them," chuckled Dumbledore. "Are they really that horrible?" 

"Albus, do _not _make me start," sighed McGonagall. "If you want a detailed report on them, I suggest you go and talk to Argus Filch, he's got a complete file on them." 

"I´ll do that then," Dumbledore said, and the quill wrote it down. "Anyone else?" 

"Draco Malfoy," said McGonagall to everybody's surprise. "How is he, Severus?" Hagrid, who had been looking at his hands for much of the meeting, now looked up. Snape sat upright looking important, and the look on his face irritated Remus to no end. No doubt Snape was aware of this. 

"He's doing reasonably fine," the Potion Master said, "if you keep in mind that he has been attacked by a hippogriff. Prospects are that he will be able to use his arm again in a couple of weeks."

"And the Quidditch match?" Remus couldn't help but ask. Snape looked at him with narrowed eyes. "What about it, Lupin?"

"Mr Potter was wondering if the Quidditch match would be continued, now the Slytherin Seeker is injured," Remus explained shortly.  

"I won't worry about that, Lupin," Snape replied coolly. "And as for Mr Potter – "  

"The stars informed me that this match will end differently than expected," the dreamy voice of Trelawney suddenly cut in. All the professors stared at her, and she looked back innocently. 

"What?" Flitwick finally said.  

"I was consulting the stars yesterdayevening," Trelawney said, "and they informed me that the coming Quidditch match will end different than expected." 

"Yes, thank you, Sybil," McGonagall said rather harshly. "We were talking about Mr Malfoy. Severus?" 

"As I was saying," Snape said with his rather nasal voice, "the healing of Mr Malfoy will only be a matter of weeks. As for Mr Potter and his inquiries; I would advise him to keep his nose in his own business and let the Captain of Gryffindor Team handle this kind of matters."

"He was just curious if the match would be played, that's all," Remus said irritated. Leave it to Snape to blow trivial things out of proportion and blame it all on Harry. 

"Yes, Mr Potter has a habit of being curious, and most of all of trying to find it out himself," Snap sneered. "Pity for him that this means he often finds himself in the most troublesome situations. Apparently the similarities between the Potters go beyond mere appearance..." The meaningful glare in Remus' direction made his blood boil. 

"You know what, _Severus_," he hissed back. "Why don't you get lost and buy yourself a new handbag, because the one I saw you wearing a few weeks ago was horribly old-fashioned."

Everybody struggled to keep a straight face while Snape was looking daggers at Remus. The latter was looking innocently as if he had no idea what was wrong about his comment. Inwardly, he was laughing his head off as he saw Snape twisting his sallow face and baring his yellowish teeth as if he was a dog, ready to bite his enemy. Before he could make a sarcastic reply, Dumbledore cut in: "may I ask you to exchange fashion advises later? We don't have that much time, you see." 

"I'm sorry," Remus apologised. Snape merely nodded angrily. Dumbledore continued the staff meeting as if nothing had happened, but when Remus glanced at him, he wasn't that surprised to see an amused twinkle in the Headmaster's eyes… 


	5. Halloween

**Halloween 1993.**

_"Professor Lupin looked cheerful and as well as he ever did; he was talking animatedly to tiny little Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher." _

Cheerful and excited murmur filled the Great Hall on the morning of October the 31st. There would be a feast to celebrate Halloween that evening, and all the students (and the staff, for that matter) were looking forward to it. To make things better, the first Hogsmeade weekend was planned that afternoon, allowing everybody in third year and higher to visit the wizard-village close to Hogwarts. 

Remus would be going as well. Not to check if Madame Rosmerta´s butterbeer was as good as he remembered it, but to pick up something he'd ordered: a Grindylow. He needed one for his lessons, so he'd owled the Magical Menagerie in Diagon Alley. For some unknown reason they'd send it to Hogsmeade Postoffice instead of directly to Hogwarts, owling him a letter: would he be so kind as to pick it up? Oh well, not that he really minded: it was nice weather outside, and the short walk would give him some exercise. 

After lunch, he walked to his chambers and quickly put on his cloak. He'd better go before two o'clock, when the students would be released. Hogsmeade would be packed with teenagers then, and it would be nearly impossible to get a Grindylow safe to Hogwarts, with everybody wanting to see the little creature. 

When he'd got his cloak on, he looked out of the window and decided that wearing a scarf wouldn't be that bad, so he picked up the grey woollen thing (Remus' younger brother Romulus claimed that the grey wool "matched Remus' fur". Whatever…he never wore it when he was a werewolf).

Remus was still wrestling a bit with his scarf when he walked down the Marble Staircase, past four third year students he knew (_of course I know them, I'm teaching them). _

"Goodmorning, professor Lupin," one of them greeted him. 

"Goodmorning, girls," he greeted back, standing still on the stairs to talk to them. He had been suspecting for some time that the tight-knit group of friends, all Ravenclaw girls, had a crush on him, and he knew he was right when he saw the fire-red colour on their cheeks. It was exactly the look James used to have when he was looking at Lily, before they were dating. 

"Are you going somewhere?" one of them, a brown-haired girl, managed to say. The others tried their very best not to look too stupid. 

"I am. I'm going to Hogsmeade," he told them. A look of delight appeared on their face.

"Oh, we're going too, this afternoon!" the brown-haired girl, who acted as the spokeswoman, said. "Maybe we'll meet you there." 

"I don't think so," Remus replied, and laughed inwardly as he saw how they all tried to look not too disappointed. "I'm only going to the Postoffice to pick something up." He started to walk on, but added, "I´ll see you at the feast then, tonight."  

"Yes, goodbye, professor," the four of them chimed sadly. He walked down the Marble Staircase, but made sure he still had his ears turned to them, to listen to what they were saying. The first thing he heard was a lot of (muffled) screaming.   

"O my God, I talked to him!" the brown-haired girl positively shrieked. "What did I say?!"

"You said we were going to Hogsmeade this afternoon, and he isn't," one of her friends replied. "Now shh, you don't want him to hear you, do you?" 

"He can't hear us, he's practically at the other end of the Entrancehall," a third voice said. 

"He is so nice," the fourth girl swooned. "And so handsome…" At this point, Remus had to fight hard to keep himself from dying in a fit of laughing.

"If only he would look back one more time," the first girl sighed when he reached for the doorknob to open the heavy oak door. 

Remus couldn't help himself. He turned around, waved at the four girls with a smile on his face, and sneaked through the door before they could faint. 

~*~

"Yes, how may I help you?" The grey-haired witch behind the counter of the Postoffice eyed Remus disdainfully. _So much for being friendly to your customers_, he thought. 

"Ah, yes, I'm here to pick up something I ordered."

"Name?" 

"Lupin."         

She took a long list and checked it. "Lupin, professor R. J.?" 

"All the way." 

She raised an eyebrow which almost made him wonder if she was a relative of Snape, and disappeared behind a door. He was left alone with the dozens of owls sitting sleepily along the walls. Each one of them was labelled differently. There were owls for short-distance messages, but also for oversea-messages. Some of the owls hooted softly when they saw him looking at them, others didn't even take the effort to blink an eye. 

The witch reappeared, carrying – with some effort – a large tank. It was filled with water, weed, and a greenish Grindylow, pulling angry faces at the two humans. 

"I don't know what you're going to do with it, but I for one am glad to be rid of it," the Post Witch commented chagrined. "Sign here." She hold out a sheet of paper and a quill. 

"Why? Did he bite you?" he asked while signing. He had barely put the quill down when she snatched the paper away. "No, but it's tank cluttered the storage room. Now get that thing out." 

For a microsecond, he thought about carrying the tank all the way to Hogwarts, but quickly discarded that thought. Now he knew why it hadn't been send to Hogwarts directly: owls couldn't possibly lift the 3 gallon tank. Fortunately, wizards could rely on "Wingardium Leviosa". The tank floated in mid-air and Remus had no problems whatsoever in getting the Grindylow to his chambers. He positioned the tank in a corner of his office (no way was he going to place that creature in his bedchamber. Imagine that looking at you all night…) and was about to make himself a cup of tea when he heard footsteps on the hallway. Judging by the sound of it, it was a student. _Probably one of the first- or second years_, he thought, checking his watch. _It's five past two, the Hogsmeade-afternoon has just begun. Unable to resist his curiosity, he poked his head around the door, and saw – much to his surprise – Harry Potter. "Harry?" _

The scarred boy turned in surprise. When he saw Remus, he seemed somewhat relieved.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked. "Where are Ron and Hermione?" Harry and his friends were practically like each other's shadows, one not far from the other. It was odd to see Harry all alone.

"Hogsmeade," Harry shrugged. 

"Ah," Remus replied. He thought about this for a moment. He knew that Harry wasn't allowed in Hogsmeade, that his uncle and aunt hadn't signed the form, and that McGonagall and Dumbledore didn't really regret that. Must be boring for the boy, though. "Why don't you come in? I've just taken delivery of a Grindylow for our next lesson." 

"A what?" said Harry as he stepped into Remus' office. 

Remus nodded at the creature pulling faces. "Water demon. We shouldn't have much difficulty with him, not after the Kappas. The trick is to break his grip. You notice the abnormally long fingers? Strong, but very brittle." He suddenly noticed he had unconsciously slipped into "full professor mode", even though it was Saturday afternoon. He remembered his original plan to make tea. "Cup of tea?" he suggested, looking around and trying to remember where he had put his kettle. "I was just thinking of making one."

"All right," Harry said. 

Remus picked up his battered kettle from the floor (_what on earth is it doing there?!) and tapped it with his wand. A blast of steam erupted from the spout. _

"Sit down," he invited Harry. Remus took the lid of an old tin he had for years, one with Chinese decorations on it – a black underground with gold and red drawings of people in kimonos enjoying tea. "I've only got teabags, I'm afraid – but I daresay you've had enough of tealeaves?" 

Harry seemed taken aback. "How do you know about that?" Remus couldn't help but smile. "Professor McGonagall told me that." He put a teabag in the kettle with hot water, tapped it with his wand, waited a moment, and poured himself and Harry a cup of tea. He gave one to Harry. "You're not worried, are you?" 

"No," the boy replied. He sipped his hot tea, lost in thoughts. A slight frown was on his forehead. 

"Anything worrying you, Harry?" Remus asked. He had to know, it was some kind of instinct to look after James' son.

"No," Harry said again. Remus suspected the boy wasn't telling the entire truth, but didn't push the subject. They both watched the Grindylow pulling more faces and brandishing a tiny fist at them. Harry drank some more tea, then suddenly put his mug down. "Yes," he said. "You know that day we fought the Boggart?" 

"Yes," said Remus carefully, wondering where this was leading to. 

"Why didn't you let me fight it?" Harry wanted to know, rather unexpectedly. Remus raised his eyebrows. Of all the topics he had expected, this was one of the least. "I would have thought that was obvious, Harry," he said. _It was, wasn't it? Right? _

"What?" said Harry, utterly surprised. 

_Okay, maybe not. _

"Well," Remus said. "I assumed that if the Boggart faced you, it would assume the shape of Lord Voldemort." Harry's stare told Remus he had been completely wrong. 

"Clearly, I was wrong," he said. "But I didn't think it a good idea for Lord Voldemort to materialise in the staffroom. I imagined that people would panic."

"I didn't think of Voldemort," said Harry, a look of understanding on his face. "I – I remembered those Dementors." 

"I see," was Remus' reply. _Of course the Dementors. Twit, why didn't you think of that! _"Well, well… I'm impressed." Harry narrowed his eyes in surprise, and it looked so much like James that it made Remus smile. "That suggest that what you fear most of all is – fear. Very wise, Harry." 

Harry didn't answer to this, but took another sip of his tea. Remus had an idea of what was troubling the boy. "So you've been thinking that I didn't believe you capable of fighting the Boggart?" he tried to lure the boy. 

"Well… yeah," Harry admitted, brightening up. He raised his head, an enthusiastic shimmer in his eyes. "Professor Lupin, you know the Dementors – " 

Somebody knocked shortly on the door, interrupting Harry's question. "Come in," Remus said.

When the door opened, Remus wasn't that surprised to see Snape come in, carrying a smoking goblet. The scent of Wolfsbane Potion invaded the office. 

"Ah, Severus," he said, smiling politely. "Thanks very much. Could you leave it here on the desk for me?" Dumbledore had refused to bring the Wolfsbane Potion, reasoning that it didn't help Severus and Remus liking each other better. The Headmaster had insisted on either Remus going to the dungeons or Severus going to Remus' chambers. And no, he wouldn't make a schedule. They'd have to sort that out themselves. They had decided that Remus would go down every other day. Severus would climb the stairs on the other days. It worked so far… 

Snape put down the goblet – Remus would never believe placing it on a pile of parchment was an accident – and suspiciously looked at Harry. His black eyes darted between Remus and the green-eyed boy, and he was obviously making all kind of weird theories about why Harry was in Remus' office. Remus choose to ignore Snape´s behaviour. Instead, he pointed at the Grindylow tank. "I was just showing Harry my Grindylow," he said.  

"Fascinating," Snape said shortly, never taking his eyes off Harry. Remus suspected that if he had said "look at that statue of naked Dumbledore wearing one of your cauldrons as a hat," Snape would've been equally impressed. 

"You should drink that directly, Lupin," the Potion Master continued. Remus cringed inwardly at the thought of the potion. "Yes, yes, I will."

"I made an entire cauldronful, if you need more."

"I should probably take some again tomorrow. Thanks very much, Severus." _Hopefully that is enough to get the message: "now leave!" through. _

"Not at all," Snape replied, finally leaving the room, back first. His eyes were narrowed and there was an unpleasant look in them. It was almost as if he had said "I know what you are. Would Potter still sit so quietly with you if he knew too?" 

Remus noticed Harry looking curiously at the goblet. Remus smiled. In so many ways so much like James… 

"Professor Snape has very kindly – " _eugh, sorry Marauders_ "- concocted a potion for me," he explained. "I have never been much of a potion-brewer and this one is particularly complex." He picked up the goblet and sniffed it, though he didn't know why. It smelled as bad as before. "Pity sugar makes it useless." _Though I suspect Severus of intentionally not researching any possibilities of making it taste better_, he thought while he took a sip and shuddered. 

"Why - ?" Harry started a sentence. Remus knew what he was going to ask and already had the old excuse ready. 

"I've been feeling a bit off-colour," he said. "This potion is the only thing that helps. I'm very lucky to be working alongside professor Snape; there aren't many wizards who are up to making it." 

Remus took another gulp. Harry was looking at him with a strange expression on his face. 

"Professor Snape´s very interested in the Dark Arts," he suddenly said. 

"Really?" Remus replied, not really interested. His mind was with the disgusting potion, and it wasn't exactly news to him either. 

"Some people reckon – " Harry hesitated for a moment. "Some people reckon he'd do anything to get the Defence Against the Dark Arts job." 

Even though this was a great opportunity to make a sarcastic comment about Snape wanting the job, but not having it, Remus ignored the comment and drained the goblet. He involuntary pulled a face. "Disgusting. Well, Harry, I´d better get back to work." He had a whole pile of papers to grade – if they weren't unreadable because of Snape. "See you at the feast later." 

"Right," said Harry, placing his empty mug next to Remus' on the cluttered desk. 

Remus watched him walk out the door, then turned his attention to his work. He had placed the goblet, which still smelled like Wolfsbane Potion, in the windowsill, in front of the open window. It was still smoking. 

~*~

It was already dark outside when Remus walked down the stairs to the Great Hall. Most of the students were inside, and he hurried because he was late. The Great Hall was magnificently decorated. Groups of bats flew around, there were hundreds of lights, hidden in carved pumpkins. Just below the enchanted ceiling, long orange streamers were floating, moving like long snakes. Remus sat down between professors Flitwick and Vector. 

"There you are then," squeaked tiny Flitwick. "I already started to wonder." 

"I was feeding my Grindylow," Remus told him. "And I forgot the time." 

"Ah, a Grindylow," Flitwick said, after Dumbledore had announced that the feast had begun. "Fascinating little creatures. Fascinatingly irritating too." Remus laughed. 

"Quite right, professor. The trick is to know how to handle them." 

"Ah, and I'm sure you do." The short professor pointed at Remus with his fork. "You have a talent for the Dark Arts." 

"Well, I wouldn't call myself unqualified, but I'm most certainly not the best in it," said Remus modestly. 

"Remus, my boy, do not think on yourself so lowly," Flitwick reprimanded him. "You are the best we had in a few years."

"It can't be worse than what we had last year," professor Vector commented dryly, joining in their conversation. 

"Oh, c´mon," said Remus disbelievingly. "Gilderoy Lockhart is famous for what he did! He can't possibly be worse than me!" 

"Remus, I hate to speak ill of my colleagues," said professor Vector, pursing her lips, "even though he's an ex-colleague now – "

"Thank Merlin," muttered Flitwick. 

" – But yes, he was worse than you, far worse." 

"We had our fun when he started that Duelling Club with Severus though," said Flitwick, grinning at the memory. Vector laughed too. 

"He started a Duelling Club with Severus Snape?" Remus asked. "What happened?" 

"The poor man," Flitwick started. "I'm not sure whether I'm referring to Severus having to spend an entire afternoon with Lockhart, or Lockhart having to duel Severus. Oh well, the point is, Lockhart one day got it in his head that he wanted to teach the students how to duel, reasoning that it would help them, as he had done many times, blah blah blah. Before I, as a Duelling Champion – " Flitwick puffed out his chest proudly " – could offer to help, to make things better, Severus had already offered to assist Lockhart." 

"Dumbledore tried to talk the idea out of Lockhart´s head, of course," Vector told the grinning Remus. "Afraid, no doubt, that Severus would blast the unfortunate man to tiny pieces. You know how Severus can be." 

"But to no avail," Flitwick continued her story. "Lockhart insisted on duelling with Severus. he said that 'he couldn't let his fellow professor down, now he had promised that they would duel'." Flitwick rolled his eyes disdainfully. "So Albus resigned to the idea that Lockhart would either be seriously hurt, or very humiliated." 

"And what happened?" Remus wanted to know. 

"Well, the day of the Duelling Club came," Vector continued the story, "and Lockhart was as cheerful as ever, by no means showing any understanding of what could happen to him. By then, the whole staff was tired of Lockhart´s self-centred and vain behaviour, so we were all eagerly anticipating the duel. And I can't say we were hoping Lockhart would win." 

"And who won?" Remus asked. 

"Who do you think?" said Flitwick smiling. "Not Lockhart! Unfortunately, I couldn't be there because a few of my students were serving detention, but from what I heard of it, it was magnificent."

"I was there," said professor Vector, "and it was indeed magnificent. Like we all suspected, Lockhart couldn't duel to safe his life – literally, almost – and he was trying to cover up for it by strutting around, acting pompously and pretending that he knew everything. Unfortunately for him, it couldn't cover up the fact that he was quite worthless when it came to duelling, and one well-timed _expelliarmus _from Severus made Lockhart fly to the other end of the Great Hall." 

"That night, Severus was very popular in the staffroom," Flitwick concluded the story.  

"I can imagine that," Remus said smiling. He cleaned his plate and sat back, looking at the students. The feast had just ended, after a demonstration of formation gliding by the ghost of Hogwarts, and a re-enactment of his own beheading by Sir Nicholas, the ghost of Gryffindor house. 

"Well," said Flitwick, cleaning his mouth with his napkin, "as enjoyable as your company is, I'm afraid I must be going. Remus, dearest professor Vector, I bid you both a good night." The small wizard hopped of his seat and disappeared out of sight. 

Remus said goodnight to professor Vector and started making his way through the students, who were slowly flooding out of the Great Hall. Malfoy caused a moment of hilarity among the Slytherins for yelling "the Dementors send their love, Potter!" to Harry, but he was ignored by the black-haired boy and his friends. 

Remus, lost in thoughts, barely noticed the students around him. He was thinking about what he had heard that evening, about the Snape-Lockhart duel. Remus had always seen Snape as the person he appeared to be – mean, sarcastic, hostile – and he had never bothered to show some more interest in the man. He had never cared to find out if the Potions Master happened to have any good qualities. Not that Snape really encouraged such efforts, but still…

_It goes to far to say that I'm starting to _like _Snape_, he thought. _But maybe… seeing him in another light? Maybe I did him wrong… at least I never gave him a chance, that is for sure! _

He left the crowd and climbed the stairs to the third floor, to his chambers. Before he was even halfway there, he heard someone walking fast behind him, feet quickly on the ground, breathing in panting gasps. Remus turned around and saw, much to his surprise, Minerva McGonagall. She looked distressed and agitated. "Remus," she said, and barely stopped walking. "Come quickly. We need you – " she stopped to gasp for breath " – something has happened. Gryffindor tower – hurry." 

She needn't tell him twice. He was running almost before he realised it. McGonagall had turned on the spot and was following in his footsteps. While he rounded a few corners (so fast that he almost walked right into them) and practically jumped off two staircases, his mind was working overtime. 

_What is going on? They need me – they need a Defence Against the Dark Arts expert – Gryffindor tower, what has happened in Gryffindor tower, to Gryffindor tower, to someone _in _Gryffindor tower, Harry?! Harry, Harry, Sirius, can't be here, Dementors, but what then? _

He rounded another corner and found himself in the corridor leading towards the Fat Lady, the portrait that concealed the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. McGonagall and Remus caught up with Snape, who was coming from another corridor (almost scaring the living daylights out of Remus, because he appeared so suddenly). He had obviously been warned by someone else, and the three of them hurried towards the large group of Gryffindor students gathered around professor Dumbledore. The Headmaster was looking at the painting of the Fat Lady, or at least, at that what should have been a painting. Remus gasped when he saw what had happened to her; the canvas of the painting had been shredded with a knife or something. Large pieces of the canvas were lying on the ground, and Remus could see the common room through the huge gaps in the painting. 

"We need to find her," said Dumbledore, turning towards the three professors. There wasn't a hint of panic in his voice. He sounded completely in control. "Professor McGonagall, please go to Mr. Filch at once and tell him to search every painting in the castle for the Fat Lady." McGonagall nodded and left immediately. 

"You'll be lucky!" said a cackling voice. Remus turned around to see who had spoken. He saw Peeves the Poltergeist floating above the crowd. The Poltergeist's face was twisted with malicious delight, something that one could expect from him.

"What do you mean, Peeves?" said Dumbledore calmly. Peeves' face fell a little. Even he respected Dumbledore, so he tried to act less like his annoying self. "Ashamed, Your Headship, sir," he said, bowing. "Doesn't want to be seen. She's a horrible mess." His grin re-appeared. "Saw her running through the landscape up on the fourth floor, sir, dodging between the trees. Crying something dreadful," he said cheerfully. He couldn't conceal his smile. "Poor thing," he added unconvincingly, trying to act as if he felt sorry. 

"Did she say who did it?" said Dumbledore calmly. 

"Oh yes, Professorhead," said Peeves, his smile almost too large for his face. Remus got the feeling that what he was going to say next, was the best – or worst, actually – of the whole case. 

"He got very angry when she wouldn't let him in, you see," Peeves continued. He flipped over and looked at Dumbledore from between his legs, grinning. "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black." 

Remus felt as if he had been stabbed in the back. He could almost _feel_ Snape´s eyes flash towards him, and he had the paranoid suspicion that the whispering of the students around him was only gossip about their teacher. _Sirius, it was Sirius… it pounded through his head. He barely heard Dumbledore tell Percy Weasley to guide the Gryffindor students back to the Great Hall.  _

"Well, gentlemen," the Headmaster said. "We must act quickly. Black may still be in the castle. Severus, will you please warn Filius, and then go and search the dungeons. And if you encounter Black; just stun him. The Ministry hasn't given any permission to kill him." Snape nodded shortly and left, leaving Remus and Dumbledore alone. Remus was still staring numbly at the ruined painting. He suddenly realised how naive he had been for thinking that Sirius couldn't get into Hogwarts, just because of the Dementors. Sirius was able to change into a dog – and he was clearly also raving mad. He was capable of anything, he had proved that exactly twelve years ago. With a feeling of nausea, Remus realised that it had been Halloween, that night when James and Lily had been murdered. Had Sirius known that, and had he thought it a proper date for their son to die? 

"Remus," Dumbledore said loudly. The younger man woke up from his musings. Dumbledore smiled, but there was no twinkle in his eyes. 

"Yes, professor?" Remus said.

"I must ask you," Dumbledore said. "I do trust you, and I know you have nothing to do with this. But do you know, do you have any idea how Sirius could've sneaked into the castle?" 

Remus looked around him, at the shredded painting and the deserted corridor. Then he turned back to Dumbledore. 

"No sir, absolutely not." 

Dumbledore nodded. "I see. Now, could you please search the third floor corridor? And kindly also check all the passage ways you were familiar with in your schooldays. You must know the castle as well as Sirius does, we must use that as an advantage." 

Remus nodded and walked away, heading for the third floor. Inside, he felt a sting of guilt and a almost a physical feeling of disgust. He disgusted himself because he couldn't tell Dumbledore what he knew about Sirius. He had let down the man who had put so much trust in him, had done so much for him, and Remus hated himself for it.      


	6. Full Moon again

**YAY book 5! I finished it in less than 24 hours, even faster than Goblet of Fire… I won't tell you who dies, but I can assure you that I DON'T like it! Oh, and I've also taken a serious dislike to James, and I like Snape even more than I used to… I won't say why, you'll have to read it for yourself. Hey, come to think of it, this chapter ties in pretty nicely with book 5… hmmm…**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**November 1993.**

_"Professor Lupin says he is feeling too ill to teach today," said Snape with a twisted smile."    _

The stone wall was cold and moist under his touch. His hand was spread out against it, feeling the stone with his whole palm. It was so smooth and polished by the thousands of students touching it through the centuries, that it almost seemed alive. 

Remus tapped the wall with his flat hand, listening carefully if he heard anything that suggested a corridor or a room behind the wall. Nothing. 

"There's nothing here," Remus told Argus Filch, Hogwarts' caretaker, who was standing right behind Remus and was eyeing him suspiciously. Even though Remus was a teacher now, Filch couldn't forget the pranks the Marauders had pulled. Filch still would never trust him completely. 

"Are you sure?" the old man said suspiciously. "No hollow sound?"

"Absolutely not," Remus assured him. 

"Well then," Filch sighed. "The whole school's been sought. No hidden entrance that I don't know of, no secret rooms, nothing. I´ll go and tell Dumbledore the good news." 

"No, wait," Remus stopped him. "Uhm, I was going to visit professor Dumbledore anyway, and I´d be happy to bring the message for you." 

Filch opened his mouth to say something, when suddenly both men heard a loud crash coming from the entrance hall, not so very far away. In an instant, the corridor was invaded with the unmistakable stench of – 

"Dungbombs," hissed Filch dangerously. "Weasley." His eyes were suddenly lit with a predator-like gleam, and he bared his teeth. He had already turned when he suddenly remembered Remus. Filch head jerked from Remus to the Entrance Hall, torn between wanting to keep an eye on Remus and bringing the message to Dumbledore himself, and telling the Weasley twins off and hopefully giving them detention. 

Remus tried to look with what he hoped was an innocent and decent look, and finally Filch jerked his head again in some sort of nod of agreement, and the caretaker hurried away to try and catch the twins red-handed, leaving Remus alone. 

_Time to pay a visit to the Headmaster_, Remus thought. 

~*~

Thunder roared outside and the rain seemed to attempt to flood Hogwarts. Dumbledore was looking out his window when Remus entered. There was a fire which warmed the room, and it was so cosy Remus immediately felt at home. A phoenix was sitting on a perch, blinking friendly at him. Lying on a pile of old books was the old Sorting Hat, patched and all. The former headmasters on the paintings paid no attention to Remus, but kept snoring softly in their frames. 

Dumbledore heard the door closing and turned around, a pleasant smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "Professor Lupin," he said. 

"Headmaster," Remus replied just as suavely. 

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" 

"To a message and a question," was the answer. 

"A message and a question!" Dumbledore said. He walked from the window to his desk, and picked up a glass bottle. "Would you, before you say anything, care for something to drink?" 

"No thank you," Remus declined. "I can't stay long I'm afraid." 

"Hm." Dumbledore poured himself a drink, then turned his full attention to Remus. "Go ahead." 

"Well, first of all, the castle has been thoroughly searched, and Filch claims there isn't a passageway he doesn't know of." Remus tried to ignore that irritating little voice in his head which kept blabbing about the Marauders knowing more passageways than Filch would ever know. He tried to convince himself that Filch had had almost fifteen years to find out the rest, and the caretaker wasn't exactly stupid. 

Dumbledore nodded. "Excellent. I trust you helped with the search?" 

"Indeed. As you said, I know the castle as well as _he _does, even after all those years." However, Remus did not tell Dumbledore that he hadn't told Filch about the ways to enter the castle that were only familiar to the Marauders. Somehow, he couldn't tell it. He had been keeping it a secret for so long that it almost felt like telling someone your most dark secret, what you think of before you fall asleep. 

And again he had this feeling of disgust. He felt pure disgust that he could look Dumbledore straight in his blue eyes and lie to the man, that he could tell with a straight face that he had no idea of any ways Sirius could enter the castle. 

Dumbledore, however, didn't seem to notice a thing, amazingly enough. "Good, very good," he said. "Now, was there something I can do for you?" 

"Yes, there is, actually." Remus swallowed, suddenly nervous. Completely ridiculous, of course, because it was Dumbledore he was talking to. Absolutely no reason to be nervous. "Uhm, it's about coming Friday. You know, it's a full moon on Thursday night, so I won't be able to teach on Friday. And, seeing how far behind the children are, they aren't able to miss a lesson, so I was wondering, uh, if anyone could fill in my classes on Friday?" 

The Headmaster frowned. "I see the problem. The point is that there is hardly anyone with enough knowledge of the Dark Arts to fill in your position. There are a few teachers who have the day off then – Madame Hooch for example never teaches on Fridays – but they are all not qualified enough."

"But you said there were some who are," said Remus. "Who?"

"Well, first of all there is me," said Dumbledore. "Not very modest that I start with myself, but I consider myself qualified enough to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. But I haven't taught in a long time, and I have other things to do as well. Remus, you are not going to like my suggestion." 

"If it has something to do with a certain Potions Professor, then I don't like it indeed," groaned Remus. "There is no way in hell I'm going to let _him teach my classes." _

"Be reasonable," Dumbledore said gently. "You know your students need the lessons. You will be unable to teach yourself, and Severus usually only teaches the first two hours of that day. And he knows a lot about the Dark Arts." 

"_And _he hates me, and God only knows what he might do to my classes. For all we know, he might turn up with a practical lesson about vampires and have the whole class killed!" 

"Now you're exaggerating," commented Dumbledore, a slight warning note in his voice. 

"Maybe I am, but Severus – he just – " Remus stuttered, lost for words. The most annoying thing was that he knew Dumbledore was right. "I will _not _have him teach my classes!" 

"That will be enough," the Headmaster cut in. "You have made your point more than clear." Remus opened his mouth to say something, but Dumbledore didn't let him speak. "I will not tolerate that my students fail their tests just because two members of my staff can't stand each other. You will go down and you will ask Severus to take over your classes, or you can go teach them yourself. Your choice." Dumbledore pointed to the door. 

"But – " Remus tried.  

"Did I ask for any comments?" Suddenly, Remus understood how Sirius must've felt just after the Whomping Willow 'joke'. Dumbledore didn't seem at all like his normal, friendly self. There was a cold look in his blue eyes, and Remus decided that it would be best to back out of the room and do as he was told… 

~*~

"So if you just – Severus, are you listening?" 

"Of course I am," muttered Snape, meanwhile casually adding some more ingredients to a potion. 

"Right," continued Remus. "Well, as you can see here – " he waved two leaves of parchment in front of Snape´s nose " – this is a list of what I've covered so far. If you would just take it from there and follow the book I will lay ready on the desk, there won't be a problem." 

"Hm – hm," said Snape absentmindedly, and he stirred his potion. Remus felt like strangling him. 

"Will just try and work with me here?!" he said. "You – you – "

Snape turned towards him, his full attention now on Remus. "Ah, I was already wondering when you'd start scolding at me," he said, an amused glitter in his eyes. "Go ahead." 

Remus merely clenched his fists and glared at Snape. He wouldn't allow himself to be tempted into an argument with Snape. He considered himself above that. 

Snape raised an eyebrow like only he could. "Nothing?" he said. "I'm disappointed. The list of obscenities your friend Black would've called me would be endless by now." 

The mention of Sirius was like a stab of a knife to Remus. "Well, I am not my friends," he somehow managed to say through his clenched teeth. 

"So far, I have seen nothing to convince me of that!" Snape hissed. 

"What is your problem?" Remus burst. 

"My problem? You're asking what my problem is? You and your friends have been annoying the heck out of me my entire time here at school, I was nearly killed by a werewolf, fifteen years later you come here again and make me take over your classes, and you ask what my problem is?!" Remus tried to say something, but his question seemed to have triggered something in the other man. The change of expression on Snape´s face was remarkable. His usually cold, dark eyes shot fire, and his upper lip was curled up in a snarl. 

"You have _no idea what I've been through, do you, Lupin? Oh, I remember perfectly how you were at Hogwarts, with your three friends to cover your back for you. Remus Lupin, the werewolf, one of the brightest in his class. And how did you use your intelligence? By pulling idiot pranks and picking on your classmates." Snape started pacing the room in long, agitated steps. "And did it ever occur to any of you, _ever_, what effect it could possibly have on those classmates? No, of course not, you were too busy getting yourself in and out of trouble. It didn't occur to you that maybe, _maybe_, your classmates didn't _like _watching how their homework is being folded into aeroplanes and thrown to the other side of the greenhouse." He paced to Remus, face mere inched away from Remus', eyes narrowed maliciously.  "Maybe one particular Slytherin, who seemed to be the main target of your 'funny' pranks, didn't __like having notes pinned to his back on an almost daily basis. But oh no, you never thought about that, did you? And why should you? You are a werewolf, but nobody ever treated __you like a monster. Nobody ever backed away at the sight of you, and you have no idea how damn lucky you are for that. So don't start about problems, because you have __no idea what you're talking about, understood?" _

Remus exhaled his breath in a soft whistle. Whatever he had expected, this was certainly not it. "I had no idea…" he said. 

"No, apparently not." Snape suddenly sounded tired. He took the sheets of parchment from Remus. "I´ll teach your class. Now, get out." 

But Remus felt he couldn't let this go so easily. "Severus, about what you said – it's true, we really had no idea – " He had wanted to say more, but Snape suddenly threw the two sheets of parchment on his desk.

"GET OUT!" he bellowed. And for the second time that day, Remus thought it better to retreat from the room… 

~*~

The cackling fire dimly lit the room, and it was dark outside except for the very last rays of the sun, just above the trees of the Forbidden Forest. Remus sat, dressed in only some loose robes, in the windowsill, looking out of the window. He was waiting for the moon to rise again. He could still taste the Wolfsbane Potion on his tongue, a sickening sweet aftertaste. He tried to scrape his tongue clean with his teeth. 

His mind was wandering about, but mainly on the subject of Snape. Remus had spent a great deal of the afternoon thinking about him, and ended up with the confession that the Marauders had indeed never paid much consideration to the effect of their antics. It was even more painful that they had spent a lot of their time on revenging bullied co-Gryffindors, but they had never, not even for a moment, thought about the fact that they might be bullying others themselves. 

And the mention of Remus' Lycanthropy had made it all even more painful. It was true that, until now, Remus had never really realised how lucky he had been that he had been so completely accepted at Hogwarts. The conversation with Snape this afternoon had been a real eye-opener, almost literally. 

Remus sighed and stood up from the windowsill. He walked towards the fire, warming himself in front of it. He could already feel the change in his aching muscles. In a few minutes, Remus the man would be gone, and there would only be Remus the Wolf. 

He stared into the fire, but couldn't help a small smile appearing up his face. He had done so much wrong, but maybe he could try and make it better. It was never too late for that, right? 

And while the fur was already growing up his legs and his hips, he promised himself that he would make up for what he – and his friends? – had done. 


	7. Arithmancy

**Many thanks to the writers of the book "A Sorcerer's guide to Harry Potter" or something like that, for explaining how Arithmancy works. Well, it's actually a lot like numerology, but I just called it Arithmancy. It really works too! If you like, I can write a stand-alone story in which I explain how to do it. **

**Well, here's the next chapter! And review, please!**

**A few days later, still November 1993…**

_"How long have you known?"_

_"Ages," Hermione whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape's essay..."_

Remus had only been away from the school-life for a couple of days, a mere weekend, but when he returned on Monday, it seemed like weeks, so much had happened. The school was buzzing with the news that the Dementors had been to the Quidditch match, and that the Gryffindor seeker – Harry – had fallen off his broom, from fifty feet straight down, and his broom had crashed into the Whomping Willow. Miraculously enough, Harry had not been hurt, but Gryffindor had lost the match. Dumbledore had been infuriated, according to professor Flitwick, and he had used a Patronus to get the creatures off the pitch. Then the Headmaster had put Harry on a stretcher and taken him to the hospital wing.  

Remus quietly studied the boy during breakfast that morning. Apart from looking shaken and in a state of grief because of the loss of his broom, Harry appeared okay again. Oh well, Remus would be teaching him this afternoon anyway, so he could observe him a little closer. Maybe even talk to him – Remus had been wondering how the boy was ever since that Halloween. He just hadn't had the time. 

As he got up from his seat at the high table to get to his classroom, he noticed Snape looking at him with an expression he didn't like at all. Predator looking at prey, something like that. A slow smile crept up the Potion Master's face, baring his yellow teeth. It gave Remus the creeps. He shivered slightly, then shook the uneasy feeling off and walked away, leaving Snape alone. 

~*~

"Professor Lupin! You're back!" 

_Okay, this is just getting ridiculous,_ Remus thought. It was the first class after lunch, and practically the whole day, students had been acting as if he'd just returned from some perilous journey they'd never expected him to return from. 

"You know, it's really great you like me all so much and are so happy I'm back," he told the class – now even Harry and his friends walked in looking as if seeing Remus was the best thing that had ever happened to them in their entire life – "but what is going on?" 

He really shouldn't've asked. 

The class burst into a storm of complaints about Snape and his lesson about werewolves. This was the first time Remus heard that Snape had drastically changed the schedule Remus had put up for him, and he didn't like it at all. Especially not the subject – he had more than only a faint suspicious that a lesson about werewolves wasn't a coincidence. An essay about how to recognise and kill a werewolf was even worse.    

"It's not fair, he was only filling in, why should he give us homework?" a girl called Lisa called out. 

"We don't know anything about werewolves – two rolls of parchment!" 

"Did you tell Professor Snape we haven't covered them yet?" Remus asked, frowning slightly. Not that he expected Snape to pay any attention to that…

"Yes, but he said we were really behind he wouldn't listen –"

" – two rolls of parchment!" The class looked so heated and indignant that Remus smiled. 

"Don't worry," he said. "I´ll speak to professor Snape. You don't have to do the essay." _I´ll kick his a – behind more likely… _

His students gave a relieved sigh, except for Hermione Granger. She sat in a corner of the classroom and was looking disappointed. "Oh no. I've already finished it!" she sighed. 

Nobody paid any attention to her, however. The class sat down, relieved, took out their books, and the lesson began. For this lesson, Remus had provided himself with a Hinkypunk, a little, smoke-like creature. 

"Lures travellers into bogs," he told the class as they were taking notes. "You notice the lantern dangling from his hand? Hops ahead – people follow the light – then –"

As if they had practised it, the Hinkypunk made a squelching noise against the glass of the case he was kept in. The students giggled softly and eyed the little creature suspiciously. 

The bell rang and everybody got up and packed their things. They all headed for the door, including Harry, but Remus called him back. "Wait a moment, Harry. I´d like a word." 

The black-haired boy stayed behind and looked silently as Remus hung a cloth over the box containing the Hinkypunk. 

"I heard about the match," Remus started the conversation. He took his books and put them in his briefcase. "I'm sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?" 

"No," said Harry. "The tree smashed it to bits." The Whomping Willow, of course. Remus sighed. "They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts," he told the boy. "People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk." _Even the Marauders did it – except me. _"In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance." He continued packing his things, while Harry seemed to ponder something.

"Did you hear about the Dementors too?" he finally asked, with some difficulty. Remus quickly turned his eye on him, observing him sharply. "Yes, I did. I don't think any of us have seen professor Dumbledore that angry. They have been growing restless for some time – furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds… I supposed they were the reason you fell?" 

"Yes," Harry answered. he hesitated, then he suddenly asked: "why? Why do they affect me like that? Am I just…?" _weaker than everybody else? _Remus finished the question for himself.

"It has nothing to do with weakness," he said quickly, voice sharp. "The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the others don't have."

A ray of sunlight fell through the window, on Harry's face. His green eyes shone, and in the light they seemed even greener, an unearthly, impossible green. 

"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth," Remus continued. "They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soul-less and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. And the worst that happened to you, Harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. You have nothing to feel ashamed of."

"When they get near me –" Harry looked away, at Remus' old desk. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum."

_Lily._ Remus almost gripped Harry's shoulders, put his arm around it, but reconsidered. Harry would think him some kind of freak, no doubt. He turned his attention to his briefcase again. 

"Why did they have to come to the match?" Harry said suddenly, his tone bitter. 

"They're getting hungry," said Remus, thinking with disgust at what kind of food those creatures wanted. He closed his briefcase firmly. "Dumbledore won't let them into the school, so their supply of human prey had dried up… I don't think they could resist the large

crowd around the Quidditch field. All that excitement ... emotions running high... it was their idea of a feast."

"Azkaban must be terrible," Harry muttered. Remus nodded, his expression closed. This wasn't exactly his favourite topic of discussion. He clutched the handle of his briefcase in his hand. "The fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheery thought. Most of them go mad within weeks."

"But Sirius Black escaped from them," Harry said slowly. "He got away..."

The sudden mention of Sirius made Remus' arm jerk in surprise, and his briefcase fell from the desk. He quickly stooped to catch it. "Yes," he said, straightening up again. He hoped that his expression was as neutral as he hoped it to be.  "Black must have found a way to fight them. I wouldn't have believed it possible.... Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long...." _Supposed to… but why didn't they? _

"You made that Dementor on the train back off," said Harry suddenly. He had a hopeful look in his eyes. 

"There are – certain defences one can use," said Remus carefully. "But there was only one Dementor on the train. The more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist."

"What defences?" said Harry at once, eagerly. "Can you teach me?"

"I don't pretend to be an expert at fighting Dementors, Harry, quite the contrary..."

"But if the Dementors come to another Quidditch match, I need to be able to fight them – " There was now an urgent ring in Harry's voice. Remus looked at him. Harry's eyes were set, he looked determined, as if he was going to find out how to do it anyway, with Remus' help or not. The resemblance with his father was painful. 

Remus hesitated for another second or so, then said: "Well... all right. I'll try and help. But it'll have to wait until next term, I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."

A sunny smile broke through on Harry's face. "Okay," he said. "Thanks." 

"Don't mention it," Remus replied. "Now, get off. You'll be late for your next lesson." 

He watched the boy walk out of the classroom and close the door behind him, then he pulled his hair and pulled some faces in utter frustration. _I'm going to catch Sirius single-handedly, he thought_, and use him as one of those boxing bags things until he paid for this. __

_But first Snape._

~*~

"Werewolves, Severus?" 

"Yes, what about them?" Snape tried to pretend innocence, but the smirk playing around the corners of his mouth made that attempt laughable. He was sitting behind his desk, looking totally unimpressed. 

"What were you thinking?" Remus was nearly loosing his temper. "Was it so difficult to stick to the damn schedule I made?" 

"Well, now you mention it; yes it was. It is no wonder the students are behind. I can't believe this is really the level of the third year students. I figured it was about time they learned about more dangerous creatures than Kappas and Redcaps. After all, Defence Against the Dark Arts is all about learning how to fight – how shall I put this? – dark creatures you meet in everyday life? Yes, that description certainly fits here, doesn't it, _Lupin?" Somehow, Snape managed to turn even Remus' name into an insult. _

And to make things worse, Remus had no idea what to say back. He already knew that he moment he returned to his office, he would know insult after insult, but right now he was simply too infuriated to answer the Potion Master. 

Snape smiled – at least, he twisted his lips into what someone could qualify as a smile. "What's the matter, Lupin? Swallowed your tongue?"  He was in control of the situation, and he knew it.

Remus didn't come any further than a weak "I hate you." 

"Likewise," replied Snape coolly. "Now, if you would be so kind as to leave…" 

Remus already slammed the door shut. 

~*~

'Wolfsbane, _Aconitum napellus. Highly poisonous herb. Blooming period: July and August. Commonly found on hills, next to creeks, rivers and lakes and on mountain meadows to alpine heights. Wolfsbane has a stimulating, then a soothing effect on the central nerve-system. The aconite is used in potions against pain in the nerves and rheumatism. The latest discovery is the use of Wolfsbane in the Wolfsbane Potions, which is used on Lycantropes._

Since Wolfsbane is highly poisonous, it is strongly advised that it is well labelled and kept out of reach of children.' 

Well, that made sense. A little. Soothing to the nerves – it was some kind of painkiller, at least, in very small doses it was. Okay, in large doses it stopped the pain too, but not exactly how you would want it. 

Remus flipped a few pages of the massive book about herbs and plants, until he reached the page with Deadly Nightshade. He started reading, leaning against one of bookcases in the library. 

'Deadly Nightshade, _Atropa belladonna_. Highly poisonous herb. Blooming period: June to August. Found in shadowy forests and on meadows of forest-rich parts of Europe, into sub-Alpine areas. Dried Nightshade works on the different nerve-areas, lessens the formation of gastric juices and weakens the muscles. Nowadays, only the pure alkaloids are used. They stop cramps, and are used against heavy pains, inflammations, gripes, nerve- and eyediseases, Parkinson's disease and, in the form of the Wolfsbane Potion, on Lycantropes. Since Nightshade is highly poisonous, it is strongly advised that it is well labelled and kept out of reach of children.' 

Again some kind of painkiller. Remus shut the book and took another from the shelve. He had decided to do some research on the Wolfsbane Potion, not that he didn't trust Snape, but… he wanted to know what he was drinking. 

A long yawning made him look up. He peered around the corner of the bookcase and saw Hermione Granger bent over a book. A pile of other books was standing next to her, and her hand with a quill rested on a leaf of parchment next to the book she was reading. It didn't really surprise Remus that she was alone. 

He thought for a moment, then took both the books and walked towards her. She only looked up when he laid the books on the table. 

"Goodafternoon." 

"Hi, professor," she said with a smile. It would have been a nice smile were it not for the bags under her eyes that made her look as tired and sick as Remus. "I didn't expect to see you here." 

"Oh, I'm just doing, you know, some research," he said, sitting down. "And for research, what better place is there than Hogwarts Library?" 

"Herbology?" she said, looking at the books. "But I thought your subject was Defence Against the Dark Arts?" 

"Well, it never hurts to expand your knowledge," he said vaguely. "What are you doing?" It was a cheap trick to turn her attention onto something else, but it worked. 

"Oh, Arithmancy. We just learned how to define someone's character with the numerological meaning of the name." She was getting enthusiastic and was gesturing with her hand to emphasise her words. "I tried some people and it really works. It's fascinating!" 

"Really? Who did you do?" He leaned forward. Arithmancy was one of his favourite subjects too, and this part, he remembered, was particularly fun. 

"Harry and Ron and professor Dumbledore." She held out several sheets of parchment with diagrams and calculations on it. "They really fit, especially when you know someone's full name." 

"And what is your description of Dumbledore, to name one?" he asked. It looked as if someone had never done her a greater pleasure.

"Well, I knew his name is Albus Dumbledore, so in numbers that's 13231 4342354695. You have to calculate three things, the character number, the heart number, and the body number, in Dumbledore´s case 1, 5 and 5. The 1 globally describes his character." She checked her book. "One is the number of the individual. Ones are independent, concentrated, purposeful and determined. They have a goal and go for it. They are leaders and inventors. Ones find it hard to work together and don't like to take orders. They can be selfish, egocentric and bossy. They are often very timid, lonely." She looked at Remus. "Is this right?" 

"From what I've seen, it is. Except maybe the selfish part. What else is there?"

"We got the heart number," she continued. "That describes his inner life, what is hidden for others. That was a five, so let's see… five, the number of instability and unbalance. It points at change and insecurity." She frowned. "That's not Dumbledore. They are adventurous and like to take risks. They like to travel and meeting other people, but won't stay long on the same place. Fives can be vain, irresponsible, rash and impatient." Hermione looked up again. "That's also his body number, which describes how he is on the outside. Is that really how professor Dumbledore is?" 

"That's can't be right," Remus frowned. They had completely forgotten that he was the teacher and she the student, engrossed as they both were in solving this puzzle. "Do someone else."

"I can do you," she suggested, timidly. "But I don't know your first name." 

"It's Remus, Remus Lupin," he said without considering. He watched her write it down and calculate the right numbers. "You have an interesting name, professor," she said conversationally. "Remus, Romulus, the founders of Rome." 

"My parents are mythology fanatics," he explained. "What numbers did you get?" 

"Remus Lupin makes 95431 33795, character 4, heart 2 and body 2. Uhm…" She nervously leafed through her book. "That is… four indicates stability and modesty. You like hard work and you are practical, reliable and down-to-earth. You like reason above fantasy. The four is good at organising and getting things done. You are as predicable as the four seasons." She looked shyly at him, smiling. "Sorry, but that's what it says. You can be headstrong, suspicious, too practical, and can be prone to have tempers. The conflicts that appear with the two are twice as strong in the four." 

"Are you sure you have the right book?" he wondered. "That doesn't sound like me at all!" 

"Well, let's see what your heart number says. It's two… indicates interaction, coöperation and balance. You have fantasy – so both reason _and fantasy? You are creative and friendly. Peace, harmony, dedication, loyalty and honesty are typical for a two. But the two also stands for arguments, opposite forces and the contrasting side of things: day and night, good and evil – "_

_Sun and moon, man and wolf_, he added mentally. 

"Two's can be retiring, moody, shy and irresolute." She looked at him again. "Is that more like you?" 

"Indeed, much more than the four." 

"Well, then it must please you that both your heart and your body number is a two, so you're like that on the inside and on the outside." 

"Good. Have you ever tried – "He had wanted to ask if she had ever tried to calculate her own character, but was cut off by the ringing of a bell, indicating that this lesson was over and that the next was starting. "I have to go," he said, picking up his books. "Sorry. It was very nice, talking with you. If you ever want to, you know, discuss Arithmancy with someone else than your classmates or professor Vector, don't hesitate to ask me."  

"Thank you, professor. It's been really fascinating," she said. "Good luck with your next lessons." 

"Yes, you too." He smiled at her and left the library, the books about Herbology under his arm.

~*~

When she was sure he'd left, Hermione took another sheet of parchment from under her Potions book. It was a neatly made list, hardly distinguishable from her other notes, except that this was a checklist. She quickly read what she'd written.

_Absent when it's full moon._

_Boggart changed into the moon._

_Eyebrows are grown together. _

_Gets potion from Snape???_

Hermione took her quill and added _yellow eyes and __hair on his hands to the list. For a moment, she seemed to think about something, then she also wrote __pointy ears on the leaf of parchment. She neatly folded it and put it back in her Potions book – she was pretty sure that was the last place someone would look for it. _

She picked up her quill again and continued her homework.


	8. Christmas

**I wrote a story in which I explaimed the Arithmancy. It's on this site, just check my profile.**

**For those really interested: you can hear "Claire de lune" (moonlight) by Claude Debussy in the film Seven Years In ****Tibet****. Extra bonus: the film also stars David Thewlis, aka Remus!**

**New chapter!**

**December 1993. **

_"But where is dear Professor Lupin?"_

_"I'm afraid the poor fellow is ill again," said Dumbledore, indicating that everybody should start serving themselves. "Most unfortunate that it should happen on Christmas Day."_

_'Buy your Christmas presents here!' _Bright red letters on a huge white board invited cold Christmas-shoppers inside. The store windows were brightly lit and packed with all kinds of presents one would want to buy. Remus was looking at an enchanted Christmas tree with little fairies in it, glowing wands in their hands. He had his own hands shoved in his pockets and his right hand was clutching a small leather bag with coins, his salary of the past months. He had come down to Hogsmeade to do some Christmas shopping, to buy presents for his parents, his brother, his sister-in-law and his little niece, and it felt good to finally have at least a reasonable amount of money to spent. He had to be careful not to spent it all at once, really. 

A bunch of small copper bells chimed when he opened the door and got inside the warm shop. There were three or four more customers, and Remus took the time to look around. He had been given a wish-list, but he took more delight in giving surprise-presents. It took more energy to find the right gift, but if you found the right thing, exactly that present that person wanted without knowing it, it would be appreciated more than when you gave something that person had asked for and was more or less expecting to get. 

He looked around for a few minutes. He had already bought something for his parents and his brother Romulus, now he only needed something for Julia, Romulus' wife, and their daughter Thirza. He wandered to a corner of the shop, in which various musicboxes were displayed. He tried out some of them, taking childish delight in opening and closing them, opening them all at once and hear them tinkling their melodies through the others'. 

"May I help you?" 

He turned around abruptly. A sophisticated-looking woman, dressed in black robes and with silver hair, was looking at him with a stern but amused expression. Remus suddenly had the feeling that he hadn't been the first to play with the musicboxes. 

"Yes, I´d like this one please." He picked up a night-blue musicbox which tinkled Debussy's '_Clair de Lune_' when you opened it. He handed it over to the woman, who gave a short smile and turned to the counter to wrap it. 

"Merry Christmas," she said when she gave it to him, neatly wrapped in gold-coloured paper. 

"Thank you. And a merry Christmas to you too!" 

~*~

_Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way… _Remus whistled the old, familiar Christmas-song while he walked through the main street of Hogsmeade. It was the last Hogsmeade-weekend for the students before they went home for Christmas, and the streets and shops were crowded with people doing their last shopping. 

"Remus!" Hagrid´s loud voice suddenly called out. Remus looked up and saw the huge man approach him. A bit to Remus' surprise, he saw professor McGonagall and Flitwick follow Hagrid in his footsteps. There was also a man in a pinstriped cloak, who looked vaguely familiar… 

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked Hagrid when the latter had reached him.

"Ah, yer know, bit visiting Hogsmeade, an we're going down ter the pub for a drink," Hagrid explained. The other three had caught up with him. McGonagall stood shivering in her cloak, and Remus smiled encouragingly at her. 

"Remus, may I introduce you to Cornelius Fudge, the minister of Magic," she said somewhat officially. Remus suddenly knew where he knew the man in the pinstripes from: the Daily Prophet. 

It was obvious that the shorter man was freezing and that he wanted nothing more than get inside and warm himself. He extended a gloved hand. "How do you do?" 

"Remus Lupin," Remus introduced himself, shifting one of his packages under his left arm and shaking Fudge's hand. "I teach Defence Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts." 

"And pretty good too, if ye ask me!" Hagrid patted Remus' back. Remus almost lost his balance. 

"But what brings you here, Minister?" he asked when he'd recovered. 

"I'm dining with the Headmaster tonight," Fudge announced pompously. "But when I arrived at Hogwarts this afternoon, it appeared that he was already occupied. Professor McGonagall kindly offered to take me to Hogsmeade for a Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. And who am I to resist?" 

Remus looked at McGonagall, and the look on her face gave him the faint suspicion that it had also been to keep Fudge away from Hogwarts and keep him occupied before he started to get his nose into other people's business, especially Dumbledore´s business. 

"Why don't you come with us, Remus?" piped small professor Flitwick. "I'm sure they have a seat for you!" 

"Oh, that's a really kind offer," Remus answered, "but I'm afraid I must decline. I have so much to do before Christmas… I have all these presents to sent – " he meaningfully lifted his two bags with presents. He really was sorry. The Marauder in him would've loved to see Fudge chat with a werewolf over some Butterbeer. 

"Shall we go on?" McGonagall suggested, her shoulders drawn up to emphasise how cold she felt. 

"Yes, that's good," agree Flitwick. "Remus, I´ll see you at Hogwarts." 

"Have a nice afternoon," Remus said to the four of them, and he watched them go inside the Three Broomsticks before continuing his way to Hogwarts.  

He didn't see the black dog wading through the snow, carrying a newspaper in its mouth… 

~*~

The barn owl spread its wings majestically and took off, soundlessly, flying away through the already darkening sky. Remus looked after the owl until it had disappeared out of sight, then he picked up his cloak from the floor of the owlery and left. 

The corridors of Hogwarts were deserted, which wasn't really surprising as most of the students had gone home for the holidays and it was freezing cold. Remus drew up his shoulders and walked a little faster, eager to go to his office and his fire. He had just posted his Christmas presents, and he had actually nothing left to do, which was a fantastic feeling. Pity really that it was a full moon tonight, exactly at Christmas. It mean that he would be missing all the good fun of a Christmas at Hogwarts: the twelve Christmas trees, the magnificent feast, waking up and finding a pile of presents at the end of your bed… of course, he would still have the presents, but with nearly every nerve on end, he wouldn't appreciate it as much as he normally would have.  

He was near his chambers when he heard something he had never heard before – a soft tinkling, a rushing sound, footsteps… He stood still and his hand unconsciously went to his wand. Various possibilities of what – of who – it could be went through his head, starting and ending with Sirius, with very few people in-between. 

The footsteps grew louder and suddenly a woman appeared above a stone staircase. Her bangles glittered in the light of the torches and she drew her shawl tighter around her shoulders before descending the stairs, a dreamy expression on her face. 

Remus almost thought the woman beautiful and elegant, when he recognised her as Sibyll Trelawney. 

When she got near, he noticed that the tinkling and clicking came from her bangles, and the rustling from the train of her dress which slithered over the floor. When she noticed someone standing in the corridor, she pushed her huge glasses higher on her nose, recognised Remus, and a delighted expression appeared on her face. She almost let out a squeal of delight. 

"Dear professor Lupin!" she exclaimed. "I had already expected to see you here!"  

Remus' chambers were about four yards from where they were standing…

"Really? I didn't," said Remus. "What a… pleasant surprise…" 

"My crystal ball told me that I would be meeting someone near the quarters of the staff, so I wasn't surprised at all," she told him, fidgeting with the lace on her shawl. 

"How fascinating," he said, totally not impressed. 'Near the quarters of the staff' was a pretty vague description. It was hardly difficult to meet someone in the corridors. 

"I know," she said, totally oblivious of his disinterest. "It is my favourite form of Divination. It is so accurate… would you like me to consult it for you?" she suddenly suggested. "I can predict your future, if you'd like." 

"No!" Remus knew he was being harsh, but this was really the last thing he wanted. "No thank you… really nice that you offered, but no, not really. I uhm… must be going now." 

"Or I could read your palm," she said while he was backing away. "Or tealeaves, I'm good at that too… perhaps a horoscope?" 

He shut the door in her face and leaned against it. After a few moments he heard her leave and he let out a sigh of relief. Reading his palm; even worse than crystal gazing. He didn't dare think of what she would say when she'd notice the obvious signs of Lycantropy. He had planned his stay here at Hogwarts as a little longer than a few months, so a gossiping Divination teacher spilling his secret – well, secret identity really, was the last thing he needed. 

He turned around and immediately noticed that someone had been in his office; a goblet with Wolfsbane Potion was on his desk. Snape.

_Well, that's one way to keep this Christmas peaceful, _he thought as he picked it up. Without further hesitating or even stopping to smell the potion, he swallowed it all in two gulps. He pulled a few faces and shivered. _Glad that's over with for another month..._

~*~

When Remus woke up in the afternoon of the next day, he saw a large group of colourful butterflies fluttering just below the ceiling. He was still drowsy from the sleeping potion he had taken that morning to ease the pain of the transformation, and he rolled on his back and admired the winged creatures. He didn't feel surprised at all to see them here, even though Christmas was hardly the time for butterflies. Actually, he felt surprised that he _didn't feel surprised. _

He was just thinking about that, when he felt something move beside him. He turned his head and wasn't surprised at all to see _her_ looking at him again with her blue eyes.

"Not you again," he muttered.

"And a good morning to you too," she said indignantly. "Aren't you happy to see me?" 

"Actually, no. Because you're just an image of my imagination, brought to life by the opium from the poppy that is used in the Wolfsbane Potion to kill the pain."

"They are too," she said, pointing at the butterflies. 

"I know." He went back to admiring the butterflies. The rays of the setting sun streamed through the windows and bathed them in an almost unearthly light. It was beautiful. 

"It's Christmas today," he said to no one in particular. He smiled lazily, feeling completely happy. The girl next to him had now silenced and seemed to have disappeared. Unfortunately, the cloud of butterflies also got vaguer, seemed to vanish like a wisp of fog. Remus tried to let them stay with sheer will-power, but to no avail. They disappeared together with the last light of the sun. 

He was still mourning their departure when he became aware of someone tapping on his door. He fell out of his bed (okay, maybe not literally) and walked – still a bit drowsy – to the door. He pulled it open and in that split second between having opened it and seeing who it was, he realised he wasn't exactly wearing anything. 

Remus slammed the door shut, right in the face of a very surprised professor McGonagall. 

"Shit," he cursed, running through the room in a frantic search for something to wear. "Shit, shit, shit." He finally stumbled upon the clothes he had worn the day before, and he hastily put them on. 

"I'm so sorry," he immediately apologised when he opened the door again. "I'm mean, I just got out of bed and – "

"Weren't exactly yourself?" she said, both her eyebrows raised. 

"Something like that." Remus ran a hand through his hair. It felt filthy, and he realised how bad he undoubtedly looked. "What's the matter?" 

"Well," McGonagall said, pursing her lips. "It appeared that Mr Potter got quite an interesting present for Christmas." 

"Really?" he said, not really interested. Talking about Harry was fine, but not right now. "What was it?" 

"A Firebolt," she said. This did catch his attention. 

"A _what?!" _

"A Firebolt. One of the most expensive racing brooms." 

"I know," Remus said, wondering what this had to do with him. "Fantastic! I bet he is all excitement about it. Has he tried it yet?" 

"No," McGonagall replied. "And that is why I need your help, as an expert of the Dark Arts. Harry hasn't yet tried his new broom because I suspect, and others do as well, that it was send by Sirius Black. And if he did send it, he most probably hexed the broom."  

~*~

"Are you sure Black's mad?" was Remus' first reaction when he saw the Firebolt. The broom was magnificent, the dream of anyone who played Quidditch. It hung in mid-air, vibrating softly as if eager to fly away at top-speed. _Sirius had at least enough sense left to buy this beauty… _

"Remus Lupin!" barked McGonagall. She scared the hell out of Remus, who suddenly felt like a first-year caught out-of-bounds again. "Would you _please _keep your inappropriate remarks to yourself! This is _serious."  _

"Yes ma'am," he stuttered without really realising what he was saying. "Uhm, what are we going to do with it, actually?" 

"We're going to strip it down to see if there are any hexes or jinxes on it," she said irritatedly, taking her wand. "Filius?"   

Remus now noticed that tiny professor Flitwick was standing on a chair near a table with spellbooks. He also had his wand in his hand, and he looked more serious than he usually did. "Yes," he said with his squeaky voice. "I suggest that we start with the more common hexes, such as – " he leafed through one of the books " – the unbalancing spell. Easy to cast but deadly when a broom looses its balance when it is fifty feet above the ground." 

"Right," McGonagall agreed. She raised her wand. "Let's get started then." 

And the three of them got to work, to strip the Firebolt down, down to the last twig.  


	9. Expecto Patronum!

**January/February 1994.**

_"The spell I am going to try and teach you is highly advanced magic, Harry – well beyond ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm." _

By the time the students returned to Hogwarts for the rest of the year, the three of them hadn't found any jinxes on the broom. Remus was sitting on a chair watching Flitwick muttering spells and waving his wand over the Firebolt. The broom gave no reaction whatsoever. 

Remus rested his head on his hands. He barely dared confess it to the other two, but he was getting tired of trying out spells which gave no reaction anyway. He actually suspected that the broom wasn't jinxed or hexed after all. 

Flitwick threw his old copy of _Bewitch your Broom on the pile of spellbooks. "Nothing yet," he sighed. _

"Try the next book," professor McGonagall said. She had rolled up the sleeves of her robes and she looked tired and irritated. "There must be something." 

"Just a stupid suggestion," Remus cut in. He couldn't help himself, he had to say it. "But what if the broom isn't hexed at all? I mean, with which wand could he´ve done it? He lost his wand when he went to Azkaban."

McGonagall gave him a long, thoughtful look. "That may be so," she said finally. "But we can never be careful enough. You do agree with that, don't you?" 

"Of course  do," he said hastily. Somehow she had managed to get him into the position of the suspect, and he felt defensive. He glanced at the clock above the door, and suddenly found a way out. "Uhm, excuse me, but it's almost time for my first class. I really have to go." 

He sneaked out of the room. It wasn't really professor-like to run away like that, but hey, _who said I was perfect?_

~*~

The Gryffindor third-years slowly left the room, one by one, chatting about their classes, what was for diner; the usual schooltalk really. Remus was packing his briefcase when he noticed that someone was standing next to his desk. He looked up and saw Harry waiting there, a shy smile on his face. 

"Hello Harry. Do you want to ask me something?" 

"Uhm, yes. You know, you promised me you would help me against the Dementors…"

"Ah yes," Remus said. He remembered again. "Let me see…" He thought for a moment about the best time and place. "How about eight o'clock on Thursday evening? The History of Magic classroom should be large enough… I´ll have to think carefully about how we're going to do this… we can't bring a real Dementor into the castle to practice on…" He shrugged the thought off. He'd find a way somehow. 

"Okay, thank you," said Harry. "Thursday evening, eight o'clock, History of Magic classroom. I´ll be there." 

"See you then, Harry." The black-haired boy left with his friend Ron, who had been waiting for him at the door. 

_Now where do I get a substitute for a Dementor? _Remus wondered. 

~*~

The answer presented itself. On Wednesday morning, Remus was just on his way from the Great Hall to his classroom, when he saw Filch standing in the hallway, looking more murderous than usual. 

"Professor Lupin," he half-growled. Since this was nothing different from his usual greeting, Remus wished him a good morning and wanted to walk on, but was stopped by Filch.

"What?" Remus asked, slightly irritated. 

"I, uhm, have something I´d like you to take a look at." It was obvious that the man felt uncomfortable asking Remus for something, let alone help. 

"How long is it going to take?" Remus asked matter-of-factly.

"Only a few minutes," Filch answered, reluctantly. "It's in my office." 

~*~

The filing cabinet wobbled dangerously and a few drawers threatened to come out. 

"Congratulations," said Remus. "You've got yourself a Boggart in there."

"I know," grunted Filch. "Just get him out will you." 

"You got a box for me?"

"Why?" 

"Well, to put it in of course! I can use a Boggart for my classes, but I can hardly keep him in my pocket, can I?"  _Well, I already covered Boggarts in my classes, but I can surely use them as a substitute for a Dementor in Harry's extra anti-Dementor lessons…_

Filch glared at Remus in a way that made the latter think that the caretaker, if he could, would gladly try and punish him for something stupid as 'making sense' or something. But alas, since Remus was a teacher and no longer a student, Filch had nothing left to do than find a box and hand it over to Remus. 

Remus yanked the filing cabinet open. Files scattered all over the floor, but he paid no attention to that. A brightly glowing orb rose almost majestically from the cabinet. The office seemed to darken and the only light came from the full moon-Boggart. 

Filch watched, mouth slightly ajar and completely forgotten by Remus, how the Defence Against the Dark Arts grabbed the box and used a simple spell to push the Boggart into the box. Remus closed the lid firmly. 

"Well, that was it," he said cheerfully. "Thank you very much." 

Filch seemed to came back to life with a shudder. "Hm, well, yeah," he grunted, not sure what to say. "Now, get out, I have more important things to do. Have too clean up this mess." He ducked and started to pick up all the files from the floor. 

Remus picked up the box with the Boggart. It was amazing how light the box was, as if there was practically nothing in it. He carried it to his office and stored it there for tomorrow evening. 

~*~

When Remus arrived at the History of Magic classroom that Thursday evening, Harry had already arrived. The boy watched curiously how Remus heaved the box on professor Binn´s desk.

"What's that?" Harry asked curiously. 

"Another Boggart," said Remus. He stripped off his cloak and hung it over Binn´s chair. "I've been combing the castle ever since Tuesday, and very luckily, I found this one lurking inside Mr. Filch's filing cabinet. It's the nearest we'll get to a real Dementor. The Boggart will turn into a Dementor when he sees you, so we'll be able to practice on him. I can store him in my office when we're not using him; there's a cupboard under my desk he'll like."

"Okay," said Harry. He sounded careful, as if he wasn't really sure whether he was going to like this anti-Dementor lesson or not.

"So..." Remus had taken his own wand from his pocket. He gestured that Harry should do the same. "The spell I am going to try and teach you is highly advanced magic, Harry – well beyond ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm."

"How does it work?" said Harry nervously.

"Well, when it works correctly, It conjures up a Patronus," Remus explained, "which is a kind of anti-Dementor – a guardian that acts as a shield between you and the Dementor."

Harry looked as if he was trying to imagine what it would look like. It made Remus wonder – _each Patronus is different. What would Harry's look like? _

"The Patronus is a kind of positive force," he continued, "a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon – hope, happiness, the desire to survive – but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the Dementors can't hurt it. But I must warn you, Harry, that the charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it." 

"What does a Patronus look like?" said Harry curiously. Exactly what Remus had been wondering. 

"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it."

"And how do you conjure it?"

"With an incantation," Remus told him, "which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory." 

Harry was silent for a while, trying to think up a happy memory. Remus watched his green eyes shift from left to the right as the boy was deep in thought. 

"Right," he said finally, his face determined. He looked unnervingly much like James, so much in fact that, for a moment, Remus had a lump in his throat.

"The incantation is this –" he cleared his throat. "Expecto patronum!"

"Expecto patronum, " Harry repeated softly, "Expecto patronum."

"Concentrating hard on your happy memory?" 

"Oh – yeah –" said Harry; he had obviously forgotten it. "Expecto patrono – no, patronum – sorry – expecto patronum, expecto patronum"

Suddenly, a wisp of something silvery shot out of the tip of Harry's wand. "Did you see that?" he said excitedly. "Something happened!"

"Very good," Remus complimented him. He smiled; Harry's enthusiasm was infectious. "Right, then – ready to try it on a Dementor?"

"Yes," Harry said. He gripped his wand tightly and moved to the centre of the classroom. His face was set but his eyes were moving nervously from one side to the other.

Remus fought back the strange urge to say "on the count of three", he grasped the lid of the box and pulled it off. He stepped back, making sure the Boggart didn't see him, so it wouldn't change into the moon. 

A Dementor rose from the box. It turned its hooded face towards Harry, and one scabbed hand gripped its cloak. A sudden chill filled the classroom, and the lights flickered and went out. Remus instinctively reached for his wand, and he had to keep himself from rushing forward and fighting the Dementor himself. He kept telling himself that everything was save, that Harry had to learn what to do in front of one of these creatures. 

"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto –" His voice drawled off as the Dementor got nearer. Harry's breath got ragged, his eyes rolled upwards in his head and he dropped on the floor, unconscious. 

Remus cursed loudly. That got the Boggart´s attention, and he turned towards Remus, still in Dementor-form. It suddenly vanished when it changed into the moon again. Remus pushed it back into the box with a spell and then paid no attention whatsoever to the creature. He waved with his wand and lit the lamps again with an angry _lumos. Then he bent down next to Harry. "Harry!" _

The boy blinked and opened his eyes. Beads of sweat shone on his forehead and his breathing was fast and shallow. "Sorry," he said. He sat up again. 

"Are you all right?" Remus asked, eyeing Harry concernedly. 

"Yes..." Harry pulled himself up on one of the desks and leaned against it. Remus took a bag with chocolatefrogs from the pocket of his cloak and handed Harry one. 

"Here – eat this before we try again. I didn't expect you to do it your first time; in fact, I would have been astounded if you had."

"It's getting worse," Harry muttered, biting off the Frog's head. "I could hear her louder that time – and him – Voldemort." 

Remus could almost feel the blood leaving his face. "Harry, if you don't want to continue, I will more than understand –"

"I do!" said Harry, stuffing the rest of the Chocolate Frog into his mouth. "I've got to! What if the Dementors turn up at our match against Ravenclaw? I can't afford to fall off again. If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"

"All right then... " said Remus. He was slightly taken aback. Somehow he had a feeling that it was not really right to think Quidditch more important that your own health, or even life, but he didn't dare criticise Harry. He couldn't help it, he kept comparing the younger Potter with his father, and to James, Quidditch had been just as important. "You might want to select another memory," he said, "a happy memory, I mean, to concentrate on.... That one doesn't seem to have been strong enough...."

Harry thought deeply again and finally nodded. He got in position in the middle of the classroom again. 

"Ready?" said Remus, gripping the box lid.

"Ready," said Harry. His green eyes were set, and the only sign of his nervousness was his slightly ragged breathing.

"Go!" said Remus. He pulled off the lid again. The room went icily cold and dark once more. The Dementor glided forward, drawing its breath; one rotting hand was extending toward Harry –

"Expecto patronum!" Harry yelled. "Expecto patronum! Expecto Pat –" It was useless. The Dementor glided forward, and once again Harry's eyes rolled upwards and he fainted. Remus cursed again and forced the Boggart back into its box. He lit the lights and crouched besides Harry. The black hair was wet and sweaty. His eyes were close and his face white. He looked as if he had died… a memory of another day, another place suddenly came up in Remus' mind…

~*~

_The uncomfortable feeling of new leather shoes on your feet, the soft clicking of feet on a stone floor… a murmuring in the background. He shivered in the cold that would never completely go away. The soft talking fell away when he stepped forward and he felt alone as he walked towards an almost stage-like platform with two coffins on it. Both were almost totally covered with flowers. The lids were open. _

_It felt like a dream when he walked on. All sound had disappeared to – somewhere. When he got nearer he could see black hair, a face came into view. The hands were folded on the chest. The nails were cleaner than they had usually been, when the hands had still been alive. Although the mouth had been charmed so it would stay closed, the lips were slightly parted, as if the lungs could continue breathing any moment. The eyes were closed but there were glasses placed on the nose._

_He remembered thinking that it was a good thing that they had put the glasses back on, because James couldn't see without them, and that was obviously a stupid thought, as the eyes would never need to see again… _

_He extended his hand to push the glasses a little higher on the nose. The skin was cold – _

~*~

and moist with sweat. Remus tapped Harry on the face, trying to wake the boy up. "Harry! Harry… wake up…" He tapped harder and finally Harry blinked and came back.  

"I heard my dad," Harry mumbled, sounding still a bit dizzy and far off. "That's the first time I've ever heard him – he tried to take on Voldemort himself, to give my mum time to run for it...." He bowed his head and tied up his shoelace, but Remus had seen that there had been tears on his face. Then he fully realised what Harry had said. 

"You heard James?" he said with a tight throat. 

"Yeah..." Face dry, Harry looked up. "Why – you didn't know my dad, did you?"

"I – I did, as a matter of fact," said Remus. "We were friends at Hogwarts. Listen, Harry – perhaps we should leave it here for tonight. This charm is ridiculously advanced... I shouldn't have suggested putting you through this...."

"No!" said Harry. He got up again. "I'll have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's what it is.... Hang on...." He frowned, thinking hard, and suddenly his face lit up. He went back to the middle of the classroom. 

"Ready?" said Remus. _God, what am I doing?_" Concentrating hard? All right – go!" He pulled off the lid again. The Dementor rose out of it; the room fell cold and dark

'EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry bellowed. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

The Dementor advanced at Harry again, but this time he didn't faint. Harry kept yelling the incantation, and suddenly a huge, silvery, shadow-like… _thing came bursting out of the end of Harry's wand. It hovered between Harry and the Dementor. Harry's face shone with sweat, and his knuckles were white, but he did not faint. Remus decided that it was enough, and he stepped forward. "_Riddikulus___!" he roared. The head of the Dementor jerked in Remus' direction. There was a loud crack, and the Dementor vanished, together with the Dementor. Remus forced the glowing moon back into the packing case while Harry collapsed on a chair. _

"Excellent!" Remus said. He walked towards Harry, feeling terribly relieved that it was over and that Harry had made it. "Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"

"Can we have another go? Just one more go?" Harry looked pleadingly, but Remus was determined.

"Not now," he said. "You've had enough for one night. Here – " He handed Harry a large bar of Honeydukes' best chocolate he had bought the day before. "Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Same time next week?"

"Okay," said Harry. He took a bite of the chocolate while Remus extinguished the lamps that had lit again when the Dementor had disappeared.

 "Professor Lupin?" Harry suddenly said. "If you knew my dad, you must've known Sirius Black as well." The question startled Remus and he turned around quickly. 

"What gives you that idea?" he said sharply. _Who told him that? What else had that person told Harry? How much does he know? _

"Nothing – I mean, I just knew they were friends at Hogwarts too...." 

Remus relaxed. Harry's expression told him that the boy was telling the truth, that he wasn't holding anything back. But that didn't mean it was a subject he liked to discuss. 

"Yes, I knew him," he said shortly. "Or I thought I did. You'd better be off, Harry, it's getting late." Harry nodded and he said goodbye to Remus. He left the classroom and closed the door softly behind him. 

~*~

January turned almost unnoticeably into February. Slytherin beat Ravenclaw in the first match of the new term, and if Gryffindor could beat Ravenclaw, they would be the second on the list. Remus could feel Harry's desire to win the Quidditch cup during the anti-Dementor lessons. 

That desire was also visible in Harry's anger when, after four weeks of practice, he still couldn't produce a good Patronus, one that could really drive the Dementor away. 

"You're expecting too much of yourself," said Remus sternly when Harry pulled a disappointed face. "For a thirteen-year-old wizard, even an indistinct Patronus is a huge achievement. You aren't passing out anymore, are you?"

I thought a Patronus would – charge the Dementors down or something," said Harry dispiritedly. "Make them disappear –"

"The true Patronus does do that," said Remus. "But you've achieved a great deal in a very short space of time. If the Dementors put in an appearance at your next Quidditch match, You will be able to keep them at bay long enough to get back to the ground."

"You said it's harder if there are loads of them," said Harry.

"I have complete confidence in you," said Remus, smiling. "Here – you've earned a drink –

 something from the Three Broomsticks. You won't have tried it before –" He pulled two bottles out of his briefcase. He remembered from his own schooldays how a bottle of Butterbeer could cheer you up. 

"Butterbeer!" said Harry, as if he had drunk it a thousand times before. "Yeah, I like that stuff!" 

Remus raised an eyebrow. _How can he know what it tastes like when he is most definitely not __allowed in Hogsmeade? _

Harry must've seen Remus' expression, because he quickly said: "Oh – Ron and Hermione brought me some back from Hogsmeade." 

I see," Remus said, still feeling a bit suspicious. He raised his bottle. "Well – let's drink to a Gryffindor victory against Ravenclaw!" He suddenly remembered that he was not a student, but a teacher. "Not that I'm supposed to take sides, as a teacher... " 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the Butterbeer. Remus was sitting on the edge of his desk, swinging his legs. Suddenly, Harry broke the silence.

"What's under a Dementor's hood?" he asked curiously. Remus had just been taking a gulp of Butterbeer, and he lowered his bottle thoughtfully. 

"Hmmm... well, the only people who really know are in no condition to tell us," he said. " You see, the Dementor lowers its hood only to use its last and worst weapon."

"What's that?"

"They call it the Dementor's Kiss," said Remus. His face twisted in a bitter smile. _Some kiss it is… _ "It's what Dementors do to those they wish to destroy utterly. I suppose there must be some kind of mouth under there, because they clamp their jaws upon the mouth of the victim and – and suck out his soul." 

Harry had just taken another gulp of Butterbeer and he accidentally spat some out when he heard this. "What – they kill – ?"

"Oh no," Remus said. "Much worse than that. You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you'll have no sense of self anymore, no memory, no... anything. There's no chance at all of recovery. You'll just exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever... lost." He drank some more Butterbeer, then continued: "It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black. It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry have given the Dementors permission to perform it if they find him." He had read it at breakfast that morning. In fact, it had been Snape who had handed him the Daily Prophet with a twisted smile on his face. That smile alone had given Remus the feeling that something was wrong. It was obvious that Snape totally agreed with giving Sirius the Dementor´s Kiss, and Remus agreed with him – at least a part of him did. Another part of him still doubted, still couldn't believe it… 

Harry was apparently thinking about this as well. He suddenly said: "He deserves it."

"You think so?" said Remus. He tried to keep his voice lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"

"Yes," said Harry. "For... for some things..." He seemed to be wanting to tell Remus something, but instead he finished his Butterbeer, thanked Remus for it, and left the classroom. 

Remus stayed behind. He remained on the desk, swaying his legs, the empty bottle in his hands. _For some things… _He remembered how he had wished Sirius dead, just after James and Lily had died. He had hated Sirius so much then, so much that he would've killed him barehandedly if he had had the chance. But now, twelve years later… he wasn't so sure. 

He lifted the bottle to his mouth and then remembered he had already emptied it. He put it back in his briefcase, gathered his things and left the History of Magic classroom. 


	10. The Marauders Map

**One of the very best chapters in the book! The Marauders Map!**

**Remus is reading _The__ BFG from Roald Dahl, and human beans are of course human beings. The BFG has a strange way of talking…_**

**March 1994.**

_"Mr Moony presents his compliments to professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." _

The news that Harry had a Firebolt spread through the school like wildfire. Professor McGonagall had given it back to him just after Harry's last Anti-Dementor lesson before the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw match. Harry had taken his broom with him when he'd came down for breakfast on the morning of the Quidditch match, and the Slytherins had almost literally turned green with envy. 

Remus could feel the excitement as he walked to the Quidditch pitch, surrounded by large groups of students. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws were all dressed in their house-colours and chanting slogans to the members of the rivalling house about how great their own team was and how sure it was that they were going to win. There was a sense of festivity that could raise everyone's spirits. 

"Professor Lupin!" He turned around and saw four girls running to catch up with him. Apart from their blue-and-silver scarves, they were also clutching Ravenclaw banners. _My fanclub_, he thought, not without amusement. It was endearing to see how much they admired him, even though they had virtually no chance whatsoever. 

"Goodmorning," he said when they'd caught up with him.

"Hi," said Lara, the most talkative of the four. Even though she was gasping for breath, as she was now, she could never hold her tongue. "You're going to the match too?" 

"It appears that I am," he said cheerfully. 

"D´you want to walk with us to the pitch?" Judy, the shortest of them, asked eagerly. 

"Sure, why not," he agreed, and continued walking with the four girls at his side. 

"And who'll you be cheering for?" Lara asked. She waved her Ravenclaw banner as to make him say 'Ravenclaw, of course'. 

"I'm always cheering for whoever has the Quaffle at that moment," he answered diplomatically. And it was true; when he had no real favourite, he simply cheered for whoever had the most chance to win. That way, he was practically never disappointed at the outcome of the game. Of course, this time he had a favourite – Gryffindor – but he was wiser than to tell them that. 

"Gryffindor has Harry Potter's Firebolt," Lucy, a blonde girl with glasses, said somewhat sadly. "We're gonna have a hard time defeating that…" 

"But we got Cho Chang!" Lara immediately replied. "And the skills of a Seeker don't just depend on how fast their broom is! Don't you agree, professor?" she turned to Remus.    

"Yes, of course," he said, feeling a little bewildered because he was drawn into their conversation so suddenly. "Seekers also need good eyes and such…" He drawled off uncertainly, but they didn't notice it. They kept on arguing about Seekers, Firebolts and Snitches until they reached the Quidditch pitch. There they said farewell to Remus, who climbed up the many stairs to his seat, while they went to sit with the other members of their house – and discuss 'cute professor Lupin' of course. 

The view from up on the highest stand was fantastic. Way below, Remus could see the last few students walk towards the pitch, colourful banners in their hands. The Ravenclaws were a huge blurry mass of blue, while the other side of the stands was completely red and gold, courtesy of the Gryffindors. 

"There you are," professor Flitwick greeted when Remus sat down beside him. "I understand you are an enemy of mine when it comes to Quidditch." Flitwick was Head of Ravenclaw.

"Of course," Remus said casually. "Gryffindor´s gonna beat Ravenclaw to pulp." 

"Oh really?" Flitwick replied. "How do you know? Are you Trelawney in disguise?" 

"That's an insult, Remus," said professor Vector, who was sitting behind the two. "Don't let him say that to you." 

Their conversation was cut off by the thunderous applause the students gave the two Quidditch teams. The fourteen blue- and red-cladded players marched onto the field, together with Madam Hooch, the referee. The two captains of the teams shook hands, Madam Hooch blew her whistle and the fourteen players and she kicked off from the ground. Lee Jordan's commentary filled the air. "They're off, and the big excitement this match is the Firebolt that Harry Potter is flying for Gryffindor" he told the cheering crowd as the Quidditch players flew around. "According to Which Broomstick, the Firebolt's going to be the broom of choice for the national teams at this year's World Championship –" 

"Jordan, would you mind telling us what's going on in the match?" interrupted Professor McGonagall. She was standing next to Lee, keeping a close and stern eye on what he was saying. Lee didn't seem impressed by what she just said, however. 

"Right you are, Professor – just giving a bit of background information – the Firebolt, incidentally, has a built-in auto-brake and –"

"Jordan!"

"Okay, okay, Gryffindor in possession, Katie Bell of Gryffindor, heading for goal..."

Remus took a pair of Omnioculars and searched for Harry. The boy was sitting on his Firebolt as if it was a comfortable chair that was standing firmly on the ground and not floating more than fifty feet above the ground. He was frantically scanning the pitch for the Snitch, followed closely by the Ravenclaw seeker, Cho Chang. One of the Weasley twins, Fred or George, it was hard to tell, whirled past Harry, and he yelled something to the Seeker. Remus couldn't hear exactly, but he thought it had something to do with acceleration. Harry had undoubtedly listened, because he sped up. Cho couldn't keep up with him and she fell behind. 

The Gryffindors roared when Katie Bell scored the first goal of that match. Lee Jordan told the crowd that the score was now 10-0 for Gryffindor – as if they didn't knew. 

Remus kept looking at Harry, and thus noticed almost before the rest of the spectators did, that Harry had seen the Snitch. The Seeker dived down towards one of the barriers. Cho Chang sped after him but her broom was no match for his Firebolt. Remus was sure Harry could catch the Snitch, but when the boy was not even ten feet away, one of the Ravenclaw Beaters interfered. He hit a Bludger towards Harry, who was forced to jerk to the side to avoid it. The Snitch disappeared, much to the – clearly audible – disappointment of the crowd. The Ravenclaws, however, cheered their Beater on. George Weasley let off steam by hitting a Bludger directly to the offending Ravenclaw Beater, who ducked the Bludger. 

Now the Snitch was gone, Remus paid attention again to Lee Jordan, for the first time in minutes. 

"Gryffindor leads by eighty points to zero," he told the crowd, "and look at that Firebolt go! Potter's really putting it through its paces now, see it turn – Chang's Comet is just no match for it, the Firebolt's precision-balance is really noticeable in these long –"

"JORDAN! ARE YOU BEING PAID TO ADVERTISE FIREBOLTS? GET ON WITH THE COMMENTARY!" Professor McGonagall was looking quite angry now. 

Ravenclaw was now fighting back; after having scored three goals, Gryffindor was only fifty points ahead of them. Professor Flitwick was getting more cheerful as the Ravenclaw Keeper blocked more goals. 

"Looks like we're not going to be pulp after all," he bellowed over the roaring crowd. Remus gritted his teeth. "We'll see about that," he yelled back. 

It was amazing how easily he got absorbed into the game – he didn't consider himself a Quidditch fanatic, but the way he was following the players with his eyes was bordering on fanaticism. 

Harry was still looking for the Snitch. One time, it looked as if he was going to catch it, but Cho Chang blocked him. Remus cursed while Flitwick was cheering. Professor Vector was merely shaking her head and grinning at the two of them.

Harry dived again and Cho followed him on his tail. Remus looked at where he expected to see the Snitch, but there was nothing. 

"It appears your Seeker needs new glasses!" Flitwick commented grinning. "There is no Snitch." 

"Shut up," Remus half-growled. His mind was working overtime, trying to figure out what Harry was up to. He followed both Seekers with his Omnioculars. Almost to his shock, Harry pulled up almost at the very last moment, hurtling upwards. Cho almost crashed into the ground but managed to pull up at the last moment. 

"You were saying?" Remus yelled excitedly at Flitwick. "That's a Wronski Feint!" He was practically bouncing up and down, but hardly anyone noticed because they were cheering Harry on. The Gryffindor Seeker had seen the Snitch for the third time and was flying at top-speed towards the small golden ball. 

"Look, there!" Flitwick suddenly shrieked, and he pulled Remus' sleeve. Remus looked – 

"Not now!" he said. Three Dementors were standing at the edge of the pitch, looking up at Harry. 

The next few moments seemed to pass in slow-motion. Remus took out his wand to take on the Dementors himself – even though they were too far away for him._ At the same moment, Harry had also whipped out his wand and yelled the incantation. Remus froze when he saw a perfect Patronus emerge from Harry's wand. He was even more stunned when he saw the shape Harry's Patronus took – a stag. _

"Prongs!" he gasped. 

"What's that?" said Flitwick frowning, but Remus didn't hear him. He jumped to his feet and practically ran down the stairs, to the pitch, hoping to get there while the Patronus was still visible. He _had to see it for himself, he needed to see the stag more closely… _

_Prongs, it's Prongs,_ it kept echoing in his head. _How can that be? The shape of a Patronus is different to everyone who conjures it. Why has Harry's taken this particular shape? _

He arrived just in time at the bottom of the stairs to see Harry close his hand around the Snitch. The Quidditch pitch almost exploded with the roar of the Gryffindor students. Remus' eyes shot to where the Dementors had been – and was amazed to see them lying in a heap on the ground. When the head of Draco Malfoy suddenly appeared from under the black robes, Remus understood. It had been a trick, it had all been a trick to distract Harry and sabotage the game. Apparently, professor McGonagall had understood this as well, because she was practically stamping towards Malfoy, his cronies Crabbe and Goyle, and Marcus Flint, the Slytherin Quidditch Captain. Still gasping for breath after his running down the stairs and the shock he had just had after seeing Harry's Patronus, Remus started to laugh with relief. 

Harry and the other members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team had come down and were surrounded by their housemembers. Remus wriggled himself through the crowd until he was close to Harry. 

"That was quite some Patronus," he said in Harry's ear. Harry turned around, his green eyes shining with pure joy. "The Dementors didn't affect me at all!" he said excitedly. "I didn't feel a thing!" 

"That would be because they – er – weren't Dementors," said Remus. "Come and see –"

He led Harry out of the crowd until they were able to see the edge of the field.

"You gave Mr. Malfoy quite a fright," said Remus, sounding only a tiny bit sarcastic. The four Slytherins were quite a spectacle to see. To make it all better, professor McGonagall appeared to be bursting with fury. "An unworthy trick!" she was shouting. "A low and cowardly attempt to sabotage the Gryffindor Seeker! Detention for all of you, and fifty points from Slytherin! I shall be speaking to Professor Dumbledore about this, make no mistake! Ah, here he comes now!" 

Remus felt as if he was on the verge of crying when he saw Harry's face light up with joy and happiness. The storm of different emotions that went through him – pride, joy, sadness – was so overwhelming that he had to blink his tears away. 

Harry and the other Gryffindors left the pitch in a state of euphoria. Remus watched them go, then set off for the castle himself. 

~*~

_"As I am saying," the Giant went on, "all human beans is having different flavours. Human beans from Panama is tasting very strong of hats."_

_"Why hats?"__ Sophie said. _

_"You is not very clever," the Giant said, moving his great ears in and out. "I thought all human beans is full of brains, but your head is emptier than a bundongle." _

_"Do you like vegetables?" Sophie asked, hoping to steer the conversation towards a slightly less dangerous kind of food. _

_"You is trying to change the subject," the Giant said sternly. "We is having an interesting babblement about the taste of the human bean. The human bean is not a vegetable."_

_"Oh, but the bean _is_ a vegetable," Sophie said. _

_"Not the _human _bean," the Giant said. "The human bean has two legs and a vegetable has no legs at all." _

Remus flipped a page and continued to read on about the different tastes humans had. But when he picked up his mug with hot cocoa, he became aware of an soft knocking on his door. He glanced at the clock (half past twelve) and decided to ignore whoever was standing outside. But it was a peculiar sort knocking, a determined kind of knocking. He sighed, put his book down and went to open the door. 

"Professor Dumbledore!" he said, surprised. The Headmaster merely nodded. 

"What are you doing here at this time of the night?" Remus asked while he let the other man inside. "Would you like something to drink?" 

Dumbledore gestured with his hand as if to say 'no thank you, don't trouble yourself'. He sat down near the fire, and sighed softly. He looked weary and tired. 

"Something wrong, sir?" Remus asked. Dumbledore smiled weakly at that 'sir'; despite being a teacher himself, Remus still talked to the Headmaster as if he was a student. 

"Has professor McGonagall just visited you?" the old man asked.

"No, I haven't seen anyone in hours." Remus frowned. He had the feeling he wasn't going to like what Dumbledore was going to tell him. 

"Well, she just told me a very… _interesting tale. Can you guess what it is?" _

"No, sir, I'm afraid I can't."

"She told me that, now almost half an hour ago, the youngest Mr Weasley – what was his name again?"

"Ron," Remus filled in.

"Yes, Ronald – he woke up and saw a most alarming thing. Any idea what it was?"  

"Absolutely not." 

Dumbledore took a deep breath as if to brave himself for what was coming. "He claims he saw Sirius Black standing at his bed, holding a knife. About this size." He indicated a knife the size of a butcher's knife. 

"My god," Remus gasped. "Sirius… in the castle?!" 

"Not anymore, I think" Dumbledore said. "There are still people searching, but it's almost certain he's not here anymore." 

"But how did he get in?" Remus asked, slowly sitting down on the chair opposite Dumbledore´s. "How did he know the password?" 

Dumbledore narrowed his eyes, obviously not very pleased with something, to put it mildly. "Apparently, young Neville Longbottom had all the passwords for the following week written down, and left the note lying around. Sirius must've found it and used it for his own advantage." 

"Yes…" muttered Remus, still thunder-struck. "Obviously…" There was silence for a few minutes. 

"But what has that got to do with me?" he asked. He looked at Dumbledore, and the Headmaster looked right back. But this time there was no friendly, grandfatherly look in the blue eyes, no kind twinkle. Dumbledore looked back with a look that was cold and hard as ice. It send shivers down Remus' spine. 

"I have asked you before," Dumbledore said, not taking his eyes off Remus, "if you know how Sirius could be coming into the castle. I am going to ask you again. I have told you how serious the situation is. He has a knife, and is apparently planning to use it, against students no less. Remus, do you know of any way he can be entering the castle?" 

Remus looked back, but his mind was not there…

~*~

_"Okay Peter, raise your hand and repeat after me. I solemnly swear…" _

_"Yeah, yeah, I know, Sirius. I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." _

_"It's not that! C´mon, we all did it. I solemnly swear…" _

_"Do I have to?" _

_"Better do it Peter, else Sirius´ll be whining for weeks." _

_"Sod off Potter. I don't whine. Now, I solemnly swear…" _

_"I solemnly swear." _

_"That I will always keep the secrets of the Marauders to myself…"_

_"That I will always keep the secrets of the Marauders to myself."___

_"And I will protect and help my fellow Marauders…" _

_"And I will protect and help my fellow Marauders." _

_"For as long as we both shall live." _

_"Shut up Moony. That wasn't the official text. Until the death." _

_"Almost right."_

_"Until the death."_

_"We should seal this with blood, you know." _

_"Don't be an idiot. Peter can't see blood, you know that." _

_"Shouldn't we add a little part in which we swear to annoy Snape until death follows?" _

~*~

"Remus?" 

Remus blinked. "Sorry. I was just thinking… no, sorry. I have no idea." How he ever managed to lie right in Dumbledore´s face, he would never know. It was a childish, but solemnly sworn oat that kept him from telling. 

"Very well," Dumbledore said, almost sighing. "You said so before, and I believed you, but I figured it couldn't hurt asking. I do hope that there will soon come an end to this. The sooner we are rid of those Dementors, the better. Though with you around, there is at least one student who can't be hurt by them anymore." He smiled friendly at Remus. "I´ll leave you to… whatever it was you were doing." He left the room and closed the door behind him with a soft click, leaving Remus behind feeling miserable. 

~*~

The almost-attack jolted Ron to a sudden fame. The students were suddenly more interested in him than in Harry, and Remus could see the red-head enjoyed the attention. 

The security around the castle doubled. Filch was seen all around Hogwarts, boarding up even the smallest crack and mousehole – _as if Sirius could enter the castle through one of those tiny peeps, Remus thought sceptically when he was passing the caretaker in a corridor one day. This sceptic and, in his opinion, very reasonable approach didn't make him very popular amongst his colleagues. Most of them suddenly remembered that Sirius had been one of his best friends, and some of the professors suddenly became much cooler towards him. Strangely enough, the only person who more or less agreed with Remus' opinion on how useless it was to board the entire school shut was Snape, of all people. __His idea wasn't very useful either, however. He had – half-jokingly, although you never knew with Snape, maybe he was serious – suggested that they'd tie Harry to a pole and use him as bait. Not surprising that Dumbledore had rejected this idea. _

Th weekend after the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw Quidditch match was another Hogsmeade weekend for the students. Remus had decided to stay behind at Hogwarts this time. He had nothing to do in Hogsmeade and could use the rest. He had some work he had to do, grading papers and such, and he also had a book he had been wanting to read for some time now. 

Around four o'clock, Remus had just sat down with his book, when suddenly the fire in the fireplace turned green, and a voice came from it. Remus recognised it as Snape´s. "Lupin!" he called. "I want a word." 

_Typical.__ He never calls me with my first name. Remus got to his feet and walked right into the fire. The world around him started to spin, and only moments later he came to a halt in Snape´s office. Remus climbed out of the fireplace and brushed the dust off his robes. "You called, Severus?" he asked friendly. He knew that him calling Snape by his first name annoyed the heck out of Snape, and he couldn't stop doing it. Indeed, Snape did look angry, but not because of something Remus did. _

"I certainly did," Snape snarled. He marched back to his desk. "I have just asked Potter to empty his pockets. He was carrying this." Snape pointed with one potion-stained finger at an old, yellowish piece of parchment, which looked quite normal. Until Remus took a closer look, that it. 

To his astonishment, he recognised the handwriting on top as that of his own. He was even more amazed, when he saw under his own writing, the neat, curly hand of James. He just in time managed to keep his jaw from dropping. Under James' words, Sirius' handwriting shone in the light, and Peter's scribble was the last one. The fact that they had all signed with their nickname gave Remus the clue he needed; this was the long-lost Marauders Map, the ultimate proof of their magical abilities and prankster-making. 

"Well?" Snape interrupted. Remus didn't take his eyes of the Map. His mind was spinning with excuse-making, anything to get the Map out of Snape´s hands and into his own. 

"Well?" said Snape again. "This parchment is plainly full of Dark Magic. This is supposed to be your area of expertise, Lupin. Where do you imagine Potter got such a thing?"

Remus glanced at Harry, trying to force the boy, by sheer will-power, to not interrupt and play along. "Full of Dark Magic?" he said. "Do you really think so, Severus?" _Try and make it look as innocent as possible. Don't make him suspicious_, his brain was almost screaming. "It looks to me as though it is merely a piece of parchment that insults anybody who reads it. Childish, but surely not dangerous? I imagine Harry got it from a joke shop – "

"Indeed?" Snape interrupted him. His upper lip was drawn up in a scowl, and he nearly bared his teeth. His jaw had gone rigid. "You think a joke shop could supply him with such a thing? You don't think it more likely that he got it directly from the manufacturers?"

Harry gave his Potion Master a blank look, and Remus decided to play along with him. He gave his face an expression of not understanding, one of mild amazement. "You mean, by Mr. Wormtail or one of these people?" he said. "Harry, do you know any of these men?"

"No," said Harry quickly. 

"You see, Severus?" said Remus to Snape. "It looks like a Zonko product to me –" _Uhm__, it most certainly does not, but he doesn't have to know that. _

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Ron Weasley entered, out of breath. He gasped for air when he spoke. "I – gave – Harry – that – stuff," he choked. "Bought – it... in Zonko's... ages – ago..." Remus had the feeling he could almost kiss Ron, and judging from the look on his face, Harry felt the same. 

"Well!" Remus drew the attention back to himself, and clapped his hands. He tried to look cheerful while looking around Snape´s office and not throwing up. "That seems to clear that up! Severus, I´ll take this back, shall I?" Before the other man could react, Remus had taken the Map from the desk, folded it and tucked it inside his robes. "Harry, Ron, come with me, I need a word about my vampire essay – excuse us, Severus –" Remus almost felt sorry for Snape when he saw the look on the Potion Master's face. He must've felt so close to getting Harry caught for something. 

Remus guided Ron and Harry to the entrance hall in silence. Then Harry turned to Remus. "Professor, I – " Before he could finish his sentence, Remus interrupted him. "I don't want to hear explanations," he said softly and sternly. He looked around the Entrance hall. Despite it being empty, he lowered his voice. The walls almost literally had ears here. "I happen to know that this map was confiscated by Mr. Filch many years ago. Yes, I know it's a map," he said when he saw Harry and Ron's eyes widen. "I don't want to know how it fell into your possession. I am, however, astounded that you didn't hand it in. Particularly after what happened the last time a student left information about the castle lying around. And I can't let you have it back, Harry." Harry didn't look surprised after that. He seemed to have expected it. "Why did Snape think I'd got it from the manufacturers?"

"Because...," Remus hesitated for a moment, "because these mapmakers would have wanted to lure you out of school. They'd think it extremely entertaining." _Another generation to continue the prank-making.__ James and Sirius would've been proud, and I would've too – under other conditions. In another world, in which Sirius would've been after Harry. _

"Do you know them?" said Harry. His voice had an impressed ring to it. Remus had the impression that he suddenly looked way cooler to his student. He was not impressed by it, however. This was too serious for that. 

"We've met," he said shortly. "Don't expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them – gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks." 

Harry's face fell, and Remus knew he had hit target. After one last look, he turned away and walked to his office.

At least, he walked until he was out of Harry's sight, then he ran. 

~*~

_"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."_

_Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git._

_Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor._

_Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair , the slimeball."_

Remus grinned while he traced the writing with his finger. _Abnormally large nose, ugly git, an idiot like that and a slimeball.__ The Marauders are back in town. _

He had guessed right when he had said that it was a piece of parchment that insulted everybody. It was the main protection the four Marauders had placed on the Map. Everybody who tried to read it and said his name while trying to do so, would be automatically insulted. They had stored some standard insults in the Map, but also a list to chose from if anyone familiar – preferably Snape of course – tried to read the Map. Remus was pleased to see that after fifteen years, the Map still worked.

He tapped it with his wand, and never before did the words "Mischief managed" seem so right.  


	11. Quidditch Final

**April/May 1994.**

_"If only there had been a Dementor around.... As a sobbing Wood passed Harry the Cup, as he lifted it into the air, Harry felt he could have produced the world's best Patronus."_

"Have you heard?" professor Vector asked anxiously, as Remus sat down for breakfast. 

"Uhm, no. What should I have heard?" He helped himself to some tea. 

"Hagrid had lost his case. His hippogriff is going to be executed," she told him. Remus had been about to lift his cup to his lips, but his hand stopped halfway, in mid-air. 

"What?!" 

"I just heard it from Dumbledore. It's got to do with that Malfoy kid, you know." 

"Draco," Remus muttered. 

"Yes. Apparently his father persuaded the judges that the poor animal should be executed. And well, Lucius Malfoy´s a bit more influential than Hagrid…" 

Remus glanced at the Slytherin table. Draco looked particularly taken with himself today. He had a smug look on his face as he unwrapped the daily supply of sweets from home. His arm wasn't bandaged anymore, no doubt to make sure he seemed well enough again to play in the Quidditch final. 

"Yes, he's a nasty one, that Malfoy boy," sighed Vector. "Luckily, I never had the privilege to teach him."

"Trust me, you don't want to," Remus commented. He decided that would walk down to Hagrid's this afternoon, to see how he was, and to check on some magical creatures Remus needed for his class. 

~*~

"An' here are them Flubberworms." 

"Fascinating," said Remus dully, staring at the long brownish worms. 

"I knew ye'd like 'em," said Hagrid, sounding equally as enthusiastic. 

"So the board's decided to bore the students to death?" Remus tried to get some life into the Flubberworms by waving some lettuce above their… he couldn't see whether it was it's head or it's rear end. Either way, he got no reaction. 

"Looks like it." Hagrid´s face suddenly lit up. "Wait a minute, I got somethin' ye might like." He hurried off to his cabin, and Remus had barely time to wonder what he might return with, when Hagrid came back, apparently with nothing.

"Lill' things are so small they fit in me pocket," he beamed. He took something fuzzy out of his pocket and scooped it into Remus' hand. 

A Puffskein.

It was really quite cute and cuddly. It hummed softly, and Remus could feel the tiny heart racing inside the small animal. Its fur was soft, almost feathery light. 

Pity really that Remus associated those cute little animals with big fangs that ripped your body open, screaming, and blood flowing everywhere. 

He broke into a cold sweat. 

"That's a Puffskein, lill' thing. They're fer them fourth years." Hagrid hadn't noticed Remus' discomfort. "Much to easy of  course – a toddler can take care of those animals."  

The Puffskein opened a small mouth and stuck out a long, thin, pink tongue. It carefully moved around with it, softly touching Remus' wrist. It was a softly tickling, wet and sticky feeling, and left behind a thin trail of saliva. Remus staggered backwards, almost throwing the small humming animal on the ground. Hagrid finally noticed something was wrong. 

"You okay?" he asked. "'e ain't gonna bite you or anything. Completely harmless, they are." 

Remus wasn't so sure of that. "No, of course not," he managed to say, and even forced a small smile on his face. "I just… I need to get back to the castle." He nearly tossed the Puffskein to Hagrid. "Sorry. Uh, I really got to go." 

"Oh, well, okay…" Hagrid tucked the Puffskein back in his pocket. "See you at dinner then…" 

Remus positively fled, half-running, and only stopped when he was back in his own office. He leaned against the door, gasping for breath. 

"Sure, Puffskeins are completely harmless animals, even a toddler can handle them," he muttered sarcastically. "Dangerous, murderous animals, those are." He pulled a face and sat down at his desk. He pulled a pile of essays closer and started grading them, anything to set his mind on something else but a humming, soft Puffskein. 

~*~

He was still feeling a bit shaky when he walked down for dinner that evening. He wasn't exactly in a talkative mood, and that was apparently visible on his face, because for once in his life Flitwick kept his mouth shut during dinner. Except for eating, of course. 

Those who were talking had only a two topics on their mind: the Easter holidays, and the Quidditch final, which would be played the weekend after the holidays. It was Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and the house rivalry blossomed like never before. Even in the staffroom; while professors McGonagall and Snape usually treated each other rather civilly and sometimes almost friendly (though both of them would sooner face Avada Kedavra than admit it), their behaviour towards one another was now downright hostile. Remus had so far managed to stay out of these fights; he had enough trouble with Snape as it was. The full moon was drawing near again, and getting the Wolfsbane Potion every evening was slowly becoming torture. Remus had never expected to be wanting to have Snape _say _something. Every time Remus drank the potion, the Potion Master merely stood there, with a smile that could make a snake's blood run cold. Image what it did to Remus' blood… 

He finished his dinner and went upstairs, to his chambers. He was feeling around in his pocket, looking for his key, and thinking about when he was going to pick up his goblet of Wolfsbane, when he suddenly noticed the small, white box in front of his door. 

_Huh?_

He glanced to both sides, but the corridor was deserted, so he picked up the box and went inside. When he placed it on his desk, he noticed there was a note attached to it with Spellotape. He unrolled it after another curious look at the box. 

_Though you might like it._

_Hagrid__._

This should've made all alarmbells inside Remus' head ring like mad, but he heard nothing. He lifted the lid of the box and saw – 

_O God no._

- a small, custard-coloured thing that most closely resembled a furry tennisball. It suddenly proved it was alive by starting a soft humming, and it wobbled a bit. 

Of all the creatures in the world, Hagrid had send him a Puffskein.

"Well, I'm not keeping you," he told the animal. Somebody knocked on the door. "And as soon as I know who's knocking, you're out of here," he finished, hoping he sounded threatening. Judging from the Puffskein´s even louder purring, he did not. 

It was Dumbledore who had been knocking. "Good evening, Remus," he said. "I didn't know you had visitors." 

"Well, I don't," Remus replied grumpily. "Not for long, at least." He let the Headmaster in. "What brings you here?" 

Dumbledore held out a goblet of Wolfsbane. "This. I offered Severus to bring you this. I thought it wise to do so, because I had the feeling Severus isn't feeling very charitable towards Gryffindors this evening." 

"You mean more than usual?" Remus said dryly. "What happened?" Dumbledore´s eyes twinkled amusedly. 

"Minerva and he got into a rather loud argument about the upcoming Quidditch match. Apparently, Severus didn't agree with Minerva's statement that the Slytherin team had a tendency to, ah, re-interpret the rules." 

"How surprising." 

"And well, seeing as how much you two like each other, I thought it better to bring you the Wolfsbane Potion this evening." 

Remus took the goblet from Dumbledore and swallowed its extends in three large gulps. He shuddered involuntarily. "Ugh." 

"Cheers," muttered Dumbledore, always the cheerful one. "Before I forget to mention it; who were you talking to?" 

"Oh, no one in particular," said Remus hastily. He didn't want to go into a long explanation. Of course, he should've know that Dumbledore´s curiosity wasn't so easily satisfied. 

"Really? That's not what I heard." Remus sighed. The Headmaster was sometimes such a nuisance…

"Okay, It's something I got from Hagrid. Here, see?" He held the box under Dumbledore´s nose. "I was about to get rid of it when you came in." Dumbledore peered inside the box. 

"But why would you want to get rid of such an endearing animal?" he said. He scratched the Puffskein with one finger, and the tiny animal hummed louder. 

Remus rolled his eyes. He could already see where this was going: Dumbledore would demand an explanation for trying to get rid of the Puffskein, Remus would stammer something that wouldn't satisfy the Headmaster, and he'd end up keeping the animal anyway. It didn't take a Seer to predict that. 

"I don't like Puffskeins," he said flatly, hoping that was enough reason for Dumbledore. Guess what? It wasn't. 

"Don't like Puffskeins?" Dumbledore repeated, on a tone that suggested that Remus had stated he didn't like Harry or something. "How can you not like them?" 

"Hm, something that happened when I was a child."

Dumbledore said nothing, but waited patiently for more. Utterly frustrating. 

"Do know how… how I was bitten?" Remus finally said. 

"No. I've always waited for you to tell me." 

Remus sighed, scraping his courage together. "When I was five, I had a Puffskein, called… it doesn't matter what he was called."  

"What was he called?" 

"Uhm, Fuzzy." Remus felt his cheeks redden. "Never mind that. Anyway, one day the stupid thing decided to take a walk in the forest near our house. I went looking for it. No points for guessing what I found instead. Two days later my parents brought the Puffskein to the Magical Animal Shelter, because I screamed every time I saw it." 

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. "I can imagine you don't like them after that." He peered inside the box again. "But they're such loveable creatures. Why don't you give this one a chance to redeem its kind. Fuzzy the second." 

"If I'm going to name him anything, it'll most likely be Monster or something," Remus said grumpily. 

"Think about it. It never hurts to give somebody a second chance, I always say." With that, Dumbledore left, and it wasn't until the Headmaster had closed the door behind him, that Remus noticed he couldn't bring himself to get rid of the Puffskein. Dumbledore had succeeded. 

"But one… toe…" _Do they have toes? "out of line and you're out of here!" he warned, but it didn't sound half as threatening as he intended it._

Monster merely purred. 

~*~

The crowd roared when the two Quidditch teams walked out onto the field. Three of the four houses were waving scarlet banners and flags, and were cheering for the Gryffindors. On the other side of the field, the Slytherins formed a mass of green. Snape was sitting in the front row, his arms crossed in front of his chest and an icy smile on his face. Instead of his usual black, he was wearing green like the rest of the Slytherins. 

Remus zoomed his Omnioculars in on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, meanwhile listening to Lee Jordan's commentary. 

"And here are the Gryffindors!" yelled Lee. "Potter, Bell, Johnson, Spinnet, Weasley, Weasley, and Wood. Widely acknowledged as the best team Hogwarts has seen in a good few years –"

The Slytherins booed, but they were barely audible because of the massive cheering from the other houses. 

"And here come the Slytherin team, led by Captain Flint," Lee continued. "He's made some changes in the line-up and seems to be going for size rather than skill –"

The Slytherins booed again, while the two captains shook hands. Judging from the look on their face, both of them were trying to break each other's fingers. 

The fourteen players and Madam Hooch mounted their brooms, Madam Hooch blew her whistle… and they were off. Lee's commentary was nearly drowned in the roar of the crowd. 

"And it's Gryffindor in possession, Alicia Spinner of Gryffindor with the Quaffle, heading straight for the Slytherin goal posts, looking good, Alicia! Argh, no – Quaffle intercepted by Warrington, Warrington of Slytherin tearing up the field – WHAM! – nice Bludger work there by George Weasley, Warrington drops the Quaffle, it's caught by – Johnson, Gryffindor back in possession, come on, Angelina – nice swerve around Montague – duck, Angelina, that's a Bludger! SHE SCORES! TEN-ZERO TO GRYFFINDOR!" 

Angelina had scored Gryffindor´s first goal, and the crowd showed – or rather sounded – it's approval. Angelina punched the air victoriously, but was nearly thrown from her broom; Marcus Flint flew right into her. 

"That was intentionally!" squeaked professor Flitwick. Flint raised his hands apologetically, but the crowd didn't buy it and booed. Fred Weasley didn't buy it either: he threw his Beaters club to Flint, who got hit on the head. He hit his broom face-forward, and his nose began to bleed. An angry Madam Hooch flew up to them.  

"That will do!" she shrieked. "Penalty shot to Gryffindor for an unprovoked attack on their Chaser! Penalty shot to Slytherin for deliberate damage to their Chaser!"

"Come off it, Miss!" Fred protested, but Madam Hooch was inexorable. Alicia flew up to take the penalty, and a tense silence filled the pitch.

"Come on, Alicia!" yelled Lee, breaking the silence. "YES! SHE'S BEATEN THE KEEPER! TWENTY-ZERO TO GRYFFINDOR!" 

A still bleeding Flint flew in position to take the penalty for Slytherin. 

"'Course, Wood's a superb Keeper!" Lee Jordan told the crowd as Flint waited for Madam Hooch's whistle. "Superb! Very difficult to pass – very difficult indeed – YES! I DON'T BELIEVE IT! HE'S SAVED IT!" 

Remus zoomed in on Harry again. The Gryffindor Seeker was scanning the pitch, as expected, followed closely by Draco Malfoy. Malfoy had a simple tactic: let Potter find the Snitch, just be there in time to catch it. Dead simple and worthy of a Slytherin. 

He was suddenly drawn back to the game when Lee Jordan screamed "THAT WAS DELIBERATE!" 

Montague, one of the Slytherin´s Chasers, had seized Katie Bell's head instead of the Quaffle. Madam Hooch immediately blew her whistle, scolded at Montague and gave Gryffindor another penalty. Not even a minute later, Katie had scored another goal for Gryffindor. 

"THIRTY-ZERO! TAKE THAT, YOU DIRTY, CHEATING –"

"Jordan, if you can't commentate in an unbiased way –" Professor McGonagall gave Lee a glare one would rather expect from Snape.  

"I'm telling it like it is, Professor!" 

Harry suddenly drew all attention to him by diving down towards on of the Slytherin goal posts. Malfoy sped after him. The two Slytherin beaters, Bole and Derrick, tried to stop Harry by beating two Bludgers towards him, but he avoided them by flying upwards, and the two Slytherins hit each other with a sickening crash. 

"Ha haaa!" yelled Lee Jordan as the Slytherin Beaters lurched away from each other, clutching their heads. "Too bad, boys! You'll need to get up earlier than that to beat a Firebolt. And it's Gryffindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle – Flint alongside her – poke him in the eye, Angelina! – it was a joke, Professor, it was a joke – oh no – Flint in possession, Flint flying toward the Gryffindor goal posts, come on now, Wood, save –!" 

But alas, Flint scored, and the Slytherins cheered loudly. Lee swore badly, so much in fact that professor McGonagall grabbed the magical megaphone and tried to tug it away. 

"Sorry, Professor, sorry!" Lee said. "Won't happen again! So, Gryffindor in the lead, thirty points to ten, and Gryffindor in possession --"

What followed was one of the dirtiest Quidditch matches Remus had ever seen. The Slytherins used a lot of fouls he had read only in _Quidditch__ Through the Ages, and Madam Hooch was getting angrier and angrier. The Beaters didn't seem to mind whether they hit a Bludger or a Quidditch player. _

The number of points Gryffindor had scored, slowly raised until they were sixty points ahead. The Gryffindors became tense and anxious; if Harry catched the Snitch now, they would win the match and the cup. Harry suddenly dived down, and the crowd roared, cheering him on. Remus followed the Seeker closely through his Omnioculars, when suddenly –

"That's a FOUL! What is he doing?!" 

Draco Malfoy had grabbed the Firebolt's tail and was pulling it back, thus keeping Harry from getting the Snitch. The pitch completely exploded with the angry roar of the crowd. Remus couldn't help but glance at Snape. The head of Slytherin house didn't seem angry, however, just mildly disturbed. He appeared to be more concerned that the use of fouls could lose Slytherin the cup, than that they were actually using fouls.  

Madam Hooch, meanwhile, had shot up to where Harry and Malfoy were, and she was shouting furiously at Draco. She wasn't the only one; Lee Jordan was completely beside himself. 

"YOU CHEATING SCUM!" he was howling into the megaphone. "YOU FILTHY, CHEATING B –" He quickly got out of McGonagall´s reach, but she didn't notice it because she was too busy shouting herself. She shook her hand at Malfoy, and her hat had fallen off. 

Alicia took Gryffindor's penalty, but she was so angry she missed by several feet. The Gryffindor team was so distressed by Malfoy´s tactics that they were loosing their concentration, and Slytherin was taking advantage of that. 

"Slytherin in possession, Slytherin heading for goal – Montague scores –" Lee groaned. "Seventy- twenty to Gryffindor..."

Angelina got hold of the Quaffle, and she sped up to the goal hoops, hoping to score. The Slytherin team all turned in unison and streaked up the pitch, towards her. Even the Keeper did it, hoping to block her. They didn't notice that Harry also turned his broom and flew almost twice as fast in their direction. They didn't notice it until it was almost too late, and they hurried to get out of the way. Angelina´s way was clear, and she scored. Gryffindor was now in the lead by eighty points to twenty. 

Harry nearly crashed into the Slytherin stands – some of them booed him as he turned and flew to the middle of the pitch again. 

In the mean time, nobody of the Gryffindors had been watching Malfoy, and the Slytherin seeker had used this time to race after the Snitch, which no one had noticed until now. Harry went down faster than he would've when he'd jumped off his broom. He avoided a Bludger, knocked Malfoy´s hand out of the way – 

And caught the Snitch.  

"YES!" Remus jumped off his seat, on his feet, and punched his hand in the air. Right after that, he looked around guiltily, but everybody was too busy screaming their lungs out to notice it. 

The Gryffindors came down in a tight-knit group, the six other players hugging Harry tightly. Their fellow housemembers streamed onto the field, while the Slytherin part of the crowd was a sea of cold, stunned silence. Snape looked as though the first person to say something to him, even something as innocent as 'we're enjoying fine weather today, aren't we?' would have his or her head hexed on backwards. Meaning that the head would come out at the feet, that is. 

The Gryffindors seemed completely out of their minds, jumping up and down, screaming and waving red banners. The team was hoisted onto the shoulders of the crowd and carried towards the stand, where Dumbledore stood waiting with the cup. He had an enormous smile on his face as he gave the cup to a sobbing Oliver Wood. The Quidditch captain clutched the cup for a moment, relishing the first time Gryffindor had won the cup since Charlie Weasley. Then he passed the shiny, golden cup to Harry, who looked all like the champion he was when he lifted the cup high up into the air.  


	12. Final Exams

**June 1994.**

_"Professor Lupin had compiled the most unusual exam any of them had ever taken…"_

Remus threw another shovel-full of sand on the small mountain they'd created, then stuck the shovel firmly in the ground and leaned upon it.

"There must be an easier way to do this," he panted, wiping sweat off his forehead with his handkerchief. "I'm sure Flitwick mentioned a Digging Spell – if only I´d paid attention when he said it…" 

Next to him, Hagrid also paused and leaned on his shovel, pushing it a few inches into the ground. "What exactly are we digging anyway?" he inquired. 

"Well, that's obvious." Hagrid gave him a blank look. "We're digging an exam." 

"Oh yeah, that's obvious," the Gamekeeper muttered so darkly it made Remus laugh. 

"No, look, it's an obstacle course," he explained. "They have to find their way through this paddling pool – I´ll fill it with water later – with Grindylows, then get past some potholes with Red Caps, the marsh we created there will be the Hinkypunk-challenge, and then finally I've got them a nice Boggart to fight. And if they do well, they passed their exam!" 

"That sounds good," Hagrid commented. 

"Yeah, I decided to add a little excitement to the exams instead of always going through the same dull thing." Remus climbed out of the hole they'd dug. "I just decided it is deep enough." 

"In other word: ye don´ want to continue digging," Hagrid grinned, and he threw his shovel on the pile and climbed out too. He was barely sweating, while Remus felt so wet as though he had just jumped into the lake.   

"I can't remember it ever being so hot while I was a student," he said. Hagrid shrugged. 

"Pretty normal for this time of the year." 

"Well, well, well. Treasure hunting?" 

Remus could almost feel Snape before he heard him, and the hair on the back of his neck immediately stood on end. He turned around.

"Of course, I could've guessed," the Potion Master continued. "Lupin. Hoping to add some fortune to your salary?" He raised an eyebrow like only he could. 

"Hullo Snape," Hagrid greeted friendly. Like Dumbledore, Hagrid usually ignored the hostility between Snape and Remus, and treated everybody equally as friendly. "What's the matter?"

"That Augury I asked you for yesterday – do you have them?" 

"Yes, sure, just a minute."  Hagrid bent down to pick up his things. He also patted Monster, who had been exploring the bushes but had hopped to the humans for his share of attention, on the head. 

Remus noticed that, the longer Snape had to wait, the more uncomfortable he seemed to get. He was shifting his weight from one foot on the other, and was glancing more and more nervously around him. it was almost as if he was afraid that something, an animal or whatever, might swoop down from the trees and come after him. Remus couldn't keep his tongue.

"God Snape, why are you so nervous? Afraid of the forest?" 

Snape´s eyes flashed at him with the speed of a snake's, his gaze cold and murderous. He bowed down until his face was mere inches away from Remus's. 

"God, Lupin," he said in the same tone Remus had used, only a lot colder, a lot more sarcastic. "Why are you so annoying? That time of the month again?" He cocked his head and flashed a smile that would have been nice, were it not that his eyes were as cold as ever, dark, fathomless tunnels. He straightened up and turned around, his swishing black cloak nearly hitting Remus in the face. 

Hagrid grinned at Snape´s remark, not realising how true it had been – tonight the moon would be full again. Remus clenched his jaw, picked up his shovel and started digging again, anything to keep himself from throwing the shovel at Snape´s head. 

When they were gone he stopped digging. He threw the shovel in the bushes, then climbed out to retrieve it when he remembered it was Hagrid´s shovel. He checked the result of his efforts – the yet unfilled paddling pool that would contain a Grindylow, the series of Red Caps – stupefied until the exam began – the patch of marsh where he had set a Hinkypunk loose, and at the end the huge old trunk with a new Boggart. 

When Remus returned at the paddling pool, he saw that Monster had found something new to do: jumping in and out the pool. The creature was so soft and furry that, when it hit the bottom, it bounced so high that there was actually very little jumping involved. The sight of that little furball bouncing up and down made Remus laugh out loud. 

"C´mon," he told Monster. "Stop fooling around. We got work to do." Monster seemed to understand him; he bounced one more time, then got out of the paddling pool so that Remus could fill it with water and put the Grindylow in it.  

When that was done, and the Red Caps were un-stupefied, he surveyed the obstacle course one last time. It certainly was the most original exam he had ever seen. 

"Well Monster," he said. "Let's see what they make of this. Defence Against the Dark Arts put into practice!" 

~*~

SPLASH! Neville tripped and fell head-first into the water. He disappeared under water, but Remus arrived just in time to pull him up again before the Grindylow drowned him. 

"Sorry, professor," Neville gasped, blinking water out of his eyes. "It's that Grindylow…" 

"Don't worry," Remus assured him, helping the boy out of the paddling pool. "You're doing excellent so far. Just keep your head cool. It's the perfect weather for a swim anyway, so where it not that this is an exam, you did the wisest thing. It's only too bad there's a Grindylow in the water." 

Neville smiled shyly, braved himself and walked on towards the potholes with Red Caps, his wand ready, determined to do well on this exam. A few yards ahead, Harry struggled through the patch of marsh with the Hinkypunks, almost with his hands over his ears to ignore the Hinkypunk, who tried to give him wrong directions, to get him lost. Harry made it, however, and Remus arrived at the end of the obstacle course just in time to see Harry climb into the trunk with the Boggart. Remus didn't worry about that part; after the anti-Dementor lessons, Harry could fight a Boggart in his sleep. And he was right: after not even a minute, Harry climbed out again, a wide grin on his face. 

"Excellent, Harry," Remus complimented him. "Full marks." 

Ron came directly after Harry, but he didn't do as well. The Grindylow and Red Caps were no problem, but the Hinkypunk had more success. The red-head sunk waist-deep into the mud, and had to be pulled out to continue the rest of the exam. 

Hermione was the inevitable next one. Careful not to make the mistakes Neville and Ron had made, she successfully managed to avoid the Grindylow, get past the Red Caps and ignore the Hinkypunk. The Boggart was not so easy. Unlike Harry, Hermione had never had the chance to practice on fighting her worst fear, so she had hardly any idea what to expect. After a minute in the trunk, she practically fled out of it, screaming and pale as snow. 

"Hermione!" Remus said, startled. "What's the matter?"  

"P – P – Professor McGonagall!" Hermione stuttered. She pointed into the trunk. "She – she said I´d failed everything!" 

When he heard this, Ron broke into a hysterical laughter, which was maybe not the kindest thing to do, but completely understandable. Remus bit back a grin himself, and offered Hermione some chocolate. A Boggart was not the same as a Dementor, but the good thing  of chocolate was that it could be used in various situations. She accepted the candy shakily, tears in her eyes. It took her a few minutes for her to recover from the shock, then she, Harry and Ron went back to the castle, Ron still grinning at Hermione´s Boggart. 

Remus watched the rest of the class do their exam – Neville compensated his Grindylow-failure with his complete success over the Boggart – and graded them. When the last of them, Parvati Patil, had finally fought the Boggart, got her grade and said goodbye, he cleaned up everything, put the Grindylow into the bucket where he kept it in, and he walked back to the castle. Monster sat in the pocket of his cloak, humming contentedly as Remus stroked him. 

The steps to the oak doors of the castle were crowded with students. Most of them had had their last exam this morning – the first years had had potions as their last exam, and many could be heard expressing what exactly they were thinking about Snape, and that wasn't exactly very friendly – and many of them were taking the opportunity of the fine weather to sit outside in the sun and discuss the exams, the weather and the upcoming summer holidays. 

"Professor! Professor!" Remus' own little fanclub was sitting on the top stairs, waving at him.  

"Hello," he greeted, pausing to talk with them. 

"Professor, did we pass our exams?" The question sounded suspiciously much like a poor excuse to talk to him, but he took out his notebook anyway. 

"Let's see… third year Ravenclaw?" He flipped the pages. "There you are… Well, it looks like you all passed it with excellent marks. Nothing to worry about!" 

"Yes!" Lara sighed. "I was a bit worried there." 

"Why should you be?" Remus commented. "You did everything perfect!" 

"Gee, thank you." Her cheeks slightly flushed. 

"What about me?" Lucy tried to draw the attention to her. 

"Like I said, everything's fine. Each one of you passed." 

"Oh." They were silent for a moment, trying to think up another topic to make him stay a little longer. To no avail, though. 

"Was that everything?" he asked. "Okay. Glad to be of service to you, but I really must be going." Without giving them chance to say something or even open their mouths, he quickly disappeared into the castle. 

~*~

Remus took the last pile of washed clothes the house-elves had laid on his bed, and put it in his wardrobe. It was clearly visible that he finally had enough money to spent on clothes; the drawers barely shut, and he had to push his handkerchief-collection back into its drawer with one hand and shut it with his other hand, else it wouldn't close. 

He went back to his tiny excuse for a living room, where warm tea was waiting for him. He would usually have tea in the staffroom, with the rest of the staff, but none of them felt like chatting; today Hagrid´s Hippogriff would be executed, and everybody was feeling moody because of that. Even Dumbledore wasn't acting like his usual cheery self. 

Remus poured himself a cup of tea and sat down. He had almost two hours and a half before the moon would come up, so he might as well enjoy himself. He took the Marauders Map from his desk, where he kept it. _Let's see who's roaming the castle this evening._

"I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." The familiar ink-black lines appeared, drawing the complex castle in mere seconds. Dumbledore was outside with Hagrid, McGonagall was in her study, as were the rest of the teachers. Percy Weasley was enjoying the company of Penelope Clearwater near the Astronomy Tower, and Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking towards Hagrid´s hut. Twenty minutes later, they left the hut, with a new dot. Their new companion was Peter Pettigrew.

Remus thought that thought again. _Harry and Ron and Hermione are walking away from Hagrid´s hut with Peter Pettigrew._

_Peter Pettigrew. _

_Who is supposed to be dead._

_Who is clearly still alive! _He jumped to his feet and seized the Map. There, clear as the sky on a summer's day, was a dot named Peter Pettigrew. And the Map never lied…_And Ron has a rat, a really old rat… and he has it exactly twelve years_, he told me so himself! __

He was busy hyperventilating over this, when he saw another dot moving fast, really fast, towards the four people. It collided with the four, and dragged two of them, Ron and Peter, towards the Whomping Willow. 

When he saw that the dot was labelled Sirius Black, Remus didn't waste another second, grabbed his wand, and ran out of his office, heading for the Whomping Willow. 

~*~

Snape impatiently tapped the door. "Lupin?" The Wolfsbane Potion in the goblet he was holding, was still warm, and the scents coming from it nearly made him dizzy. "Lupin? Open the door you stupid – " He knocked harder, but got no reaction. Muttering darkly about stupid werewolves and 'supernatural hearing my a-', he kicked the door. He was taken aback when the door opened.

Severus Snape was not a nosy man. He liked to keep to himself, and wasn't really interested in other people. The sudden disappearance of his hated colleague intrigued him, however.  

He peeked his head around the door. "Lupin?" There was no one there, so he took the liberty of welcoming himself in the office. Lupin was nowhere to be found, but there were some signs that he had been there, not too long ago, and had left in a hurry, or with the intend to return soon. The fire was still cackling in the fireplace, and a teapot stood, it's cosy next to it, on a small table. There was tea – Blueberry, he noticed almost subconsciously – in the cup. He touched the cup with his fingers – still warm. 

"C´mon Lupin, were are you?" he muttered. "You'd better not be standing under the shower or something." Snape briefly explored the bedroom, but that was equally deserted. 

Really getting angry now, he put down the goblet with Wolfsbane on the desk and started leafing through the other man's papers for a possible clue. Nothing. He left the desk and searched the books – he didn't feel the slightest embarrassed because he couldn't care less about Lupin´s stuff – when he found the Map. 

Snape picked it up and studied it. It looked peculiarly much like that stupid bit of parchment Potter had had on him, that day when Draco Malfoy had reported seeing him in Hogsmeade. But this parchment didn't insult you – it was a map. And not just a map, but a complete map of Hogwarts, complete with labelled dots for the people in it. He amused himself a few minutes by looking up his own dungeons and the Slytherin Common room, then he switched his attention to the little dots. He nearly smiled when he saw himself standing in Lupin´s office. Minerva McGonagall was in her office, together with Filius Flitwick it appeared – _I wonder what they're talking about… - and Albus Dumbledore was where Snape expected him to be; with Hagrid. _

A small dot near the Whomping Willow got his attention. It was labelled Remus Lupin, and swiftly moving towards the Willow. It seemed to hesitate for a moment, then it ran down a passageway and disappeared out of sight. 

Snape only briefly wondered what Lupin would be doing outside at this moment, then his brain put two and two together. Or, rather, Lupin and Black. 

_Of course, I was right. And where else would Black be hiding than in the Shrieking Shack, the same place where he tried to kill me?_

A predatorily grin appeared on Snape´s face. _But this time he won't escape me. They thought they were so clever, Lupin and Black. But we'll see who is the better man this time… _

He flung the Map on Lupin´s desk and stormed out of the office, heading for the Whomping Willow, and the passageway towards the Shrieking Shack. 


	13. Shrieking Shack

**Well, I had so many reviews, I decided to reward you with a new chapter! **

**This has The Hug in it (and Sirius!), but I sincerely promise you that this won't turn into slash… I am a Remus/Sirius shipper myself, but I know a lot of people don't like it, so I won't write it (well, at least not in this story…). I will give my very personal opinion and view on the Remus/Sirius friendship/relation/whatever in the Author's Note.**

**There will be three more chapters after this, I hope to get them all posted before August three, because I'm going on vacation on August the fourth (to ****England**** and ****Scotland****! And ****Loch****Ness****! YAY!). But I have this feeling that it won't be a problem…**

**Review, please!**

**Thursday 6th of June, 1994. ** 

_"Sirius, NO!" Lupin yelled, launching himself forwards and dragging Black away from Ron again. "WAIT! You can't do it just like that – they need to understand – we've got to explain –"_

Remus nearly slipped on the grass when he ran at top-speed to the Whomping Willow. He just in time managed to keep his balance, and arrived gasping at the large tree. He took a few moments to catch his breath, then he looked around him for a stick or something to make the tree stand still. He found a long, straight stick, almost like a broomstick without the brush, and touched the nod on the tree. The Willow froze, and he crouched on all fours to get into it. 

He slid down the sand-filled passageway he had not been in for nearly fifteen years. It was strange to see how little everything had changed. The feeling of sliding down, of walking to the very core of the earth was the same, and he automatically bucked for rocks he thought he had forgotten about. The only thing that was different was that the passageway felt a lot smaller than he remembered it – but that was probably because he had grown bigger. 

He knew it wasn't the same when he saw that the door to the Shack itself was ajar. He had very nearly sworn an oat to Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey that the door to the Shrieking Shack would never, ever, _ever_ be left open, to ensure that no curious students came to take a peek at the rumoured ghosts. It also kept the werewolf in, and it had been almost the one thing that had saved Snape´s life, that night when he'd climbed down to the Shack and James had just in time pulled him back.  

Remus pushed the door further open and walked in. The shattered furniture was now covered in layers of dust, but the floor clearly showed footprints, those of a dog and a cat, and two pair of human footprints.  

He lit the tip of his wand with a soft "Lumos", and looked around, looking for any signs. Suddenly, the silence was broken by a single, shrill voice, coming from upstairs. Hermione Granger's voice. 

"WE'RE UP HERE!" she screamed. "WE'RE UP HERE – SIRIUS BLACK - QUICK!"

Remus didn't hesitate. He ran up the stairs with two steps at the time. He nearly shouted "alohomora!" at the door, which flew open in a shower of red sparks. He had his wand raised, ready to strike.

Harry whirled around to look at Remus, his face pale. A nasty bruise was visible on one side of his head, and the sleeve of his robe was torn, as if a cat had ripped it. Remus' eyes shot through the room, over Ron, lying on the floor with a leg that was too weirdly twisted to be unbroken, over Hermione, who was crouching near the door, looking as if she tried to make herself invisible, over Harry, who looked quite murderous, and then he looked at Sirius. 

_Sirius… my God…_

Remus had always said that Sirius deserved what he had got. If they were ever stupid enough to let Sirius free before he had died, he had always insisted, he would kick him back into Azkaban himself. But now, looking at that frail, thin man, almost skeleton-like, he wasn't so sure anymore. 

Sirius looked as if he was about to fall apart. He could have been a corpse, were it not that his nose was bleeding and his left eye was bruised, and his eyes – they were most certainly not dead. Those deep, hollow eyes burned with an anger that was terrifying, and Remus was suddenly glad that he was not the target of that anger.

"Expelliarmus!" he shouted. 

Three wands flew his way, and he caught them all quickly. Then he stepped forward, his eyes still on Sirius. A large ginger cat was lying on his chest, almost protectively, daring Remus to take him away. Sirius looked up at Remus. He didn't blink, just looked, defiantly, but under that Remus could see something fragile, just a tiny hint of vulnerability. He had the idea that, with those eyes, Sirius begged him to believe him. 

The moment seemed to go on for hours, but in reality it had taken not half a minute. Then Remus asked, with a tense voice that he hardly recognised as his own, "where is he, Sirius?" In the corner of his eye, he saw that Harry was looking quizzically at him, but he tried to stay calm. Peter was here, somewhere, and he needed to know where. 

Sirius seemed to think about this for a few seconds, his face expressionless. Then he slowly raised a bony hand and pointed at Ron, who was holding a panicking rat. 

Ron and Harry exchanged amazed looks, but Remus didn't notice it. He was still looking at Sirius, who looked back. It seemed as if he was trying to force Remus to read his mind, as if he was trying to tell something without saying anything.

"But then…" Remus muttered, thinking quickly. His mind was spinning, and he had the feeling he very nearly got the clue, but couldn't just lay his finger on it. "Why hasn't he shown himself before now? Unless…" It suddenly clicked. Of course. "- unless _he_ was the one… unless you switched… without telling me?" 

He didn't need any reassurance from Sirius, he knew he was right, that it was true. Sirius had not been the Secretkeeper, Peter had been. Sirius never betrayed the Potters. Peter did. Sirius was innocent. 

Slowly, his eyes fixed on Remus' face as if he was unsure how he was going to react, Sirius nodded. 

"Professor," Harry said loudly. "What's going on..?" But Remus paid no attention to him. 

He lowered his wand, impulsively stepped forward and pulled Sirius to his feet, in a tight embrace. 

_God, he is so thin… _He could feel the shoulder blades, the ribs right through the fabric of Sirius' shabby robes. His eyes stung with tears he quickly blinked away, when he thought about the years Sirius had wasted in Azkaban. Sirius clung to him as though letting go would cost him his life, and Remus felt a suddenly protectiveness rush through him. 

"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" Hermione´s sudden scream noticeably startled Sirius, who dug his nails in Remus' back. Remus let go of him and turned around to face Hermione. She had scrawled to her feet and was staring wide-eyed at the two of them, pointing accusingly at Remus. "You – you – " she stuttered. 

"Hermione – "

" – you and him!" 

He approached her, one hand raised as if she was a panicking animal. "Hermione, calm down – " 

"I didn't tell anyone!" she continued. "I've been covering up for you – " This made an alarm in his head go off. _Covering up for me? What does she mean? How long has she known… what exactly? _

"Hermione, listen to me, please," he said, his voice raised. "I can explain – " whatever needed explaining. 

Now Harry joined the two of them. "I trusted you!" he shouted at Remus, his voice wavering with fury. "And all the time you've been his friend!" 

"You're wrong," he told the boy, shaking his head to empathise that he was speaking the truth. "I haven't been Sirius's friend, but I am now – let me explain…" 

"NO!" Hermione interrupted. "Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too – he's a _werewolf_!"  

Remus suddenly understood what people meant with 'a deafening silence'. It was as if time had stopped for a few seconds, and all sound appeared to have disappeared, except for the beating of his own heart, which seemed extraordinarily loud. Strangely enough, he didn't feel shocked or anything. Quite the contrary; he felt unusually calm while he looked at how the three children reacted – Harry's confused green eyes, looking at him as if Harry couldn't believe it, Ron, who appeared to have paled some more, though it was difficult to see because he was already very pale, and Hermione, who was looking at Remus as if daring him to deny it. Remus even amazed himself by feeling a little proud of her – it would take someone of her intellect to find out about his Lycantropy in less than a year. It had taken the Marauders nearly two years, and they had been around him nearly every day. If any of the students were to find out – and he had subconsciously known all along that someday they would – he'd rather have Hermione figure it out that one of the Slytherins. For such an accomplishment, he could forgive her her accusations of him helping Sirius.

"Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione," he said. "Only one out of three, I'm afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle and I certainly don't want Harry dead." He shivered involuntarily by his next statement. "But I won't deny that I'm a werewolf." 

Ron tried to get up again, but that made his broken leg move, and he fell back, whimpering with pain. Forgetting about the situation he was in, Remus tried to move towards him, to try and see how badly he was injured, but Ron made a gesture with his arm to fend him off and gasped, "get away from me, werewolf!" 

It was like a stab in the back. Remus stopped dead in his tracks, then turned slowly to Hermione. He swallowed to get his voice back, then said, "how long have you known?" 

"Ages," she whispered. "Since I did Professor Snape´s essay…" 

_Of course…___

"He'll be delighted," Remus said coolly. "He assigned that essay hoping someone would realise what my symptoms meant.... Did you check the lunar chart and realise that I was always ill at the full moon? Or did you realise that the Boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?"

"Both," Hermione said quietly.

Remus forced himself to laugh. "You're the cleverest witch of your age I've ever met, Hermione." 

"I'm not," Hermione whispered. "If I'd been a bit cleverer, I'd have told everyone what you are!"

"But they already know," he answered. "At least, the staff do."

"Dumbledore hired you when he knew you were a werewolf," Ron gasped. "Is he mad?"

"Some of the staff thought so," said Remus. "He had to work very hard to convince certain teachers that I'm trustworthy –" _One teacher in particular…_

"AND HE WAS WRONG!" Harry cut in. "YOU'VE BEEN HELPING HIM ALL THE TIME!" He pointed accusingly at Sirius. Sirius looked as if he couldn't take it all anymore, staggered to the four-poster bed and sank onto it. He hid his face in one hand. The great ginger cat jumped on his lap, purring, and Ron edged away from both of them.

"I have not been helping Sirius," Remus said. "If you'll give me a chance, I´ll explain. Look – "

He took the wands of the three of them and threw them back to their owners, who caught them, stunned. "There," he said, and stuck his own wand back into his belt. "You're armed, we're not. Now will you listen?"  

"If you haven't been helping him," Harry said, still looking suspicious, and glancing furiously at Sirius, "how did you know he was here?" 

"The Map," Remus said simply. "The Marauder's Map. I was in my office examining it – " 

"You know how to work it?" Harry interrupted him. 

"Of course I know how to work it," Remus answered, impatiently waving one hand. "I helped write it. I'm Moony – that was my friends' nickname for me at school." 

"You wrote – ?" Judging from the tone of Harry's voice, he couldn't quite believe it. 

"The important thing is," Remus continued, ignoring Harry, "I was watching it carefully this evening, because I had an idea that you, Ron, and Hermione might try and sneak out of the castle to visit Hagrid before his hippogriff was executed. And I was right, wasn't I?" He started to pace up and down, concentrated about what had happened only so shortly before. Little patches of dust whirled around his feet, but he didn't notice. "You might have been wearing your father's old cloak, Harry –"

"How d'you know about the cloak?"

"The number of times I saw James disappearing under it...," said Remus, waving his hand impatiently again. James's cloak was hardly the issue here. "The point is, even if you're wearing an Invisibility Cloak, you still show up on the Marauder's Map. I watched you cross the grounds and enter Hagrid's hut. Twenty minutes later, you left Hagrid, and set off back toward the castle. But you were now accompanied by somebody else."

"What?" said Harry. "No, we weren't!"

I couldn't believe my eyes," Remus continued, still pacing. He ignored Harry, he was too caught up in what he was telling.  "I thought the map must be malfunctioning. How could he be with you?" 

"No one was with us!" Harry interrupted again. Remus still ignored him.  

"And then I saw another dot, moving fast toward you, labelled Sirius Black.... I saw him collide with you; I watched as he pulled two of you into the Whomping Willow –"

"One of us!" Ron said angrily. 

"No, Ron," Remus said calmly. "Two of you." He stopped pacing and looked at Ron, or, more accurately, at the rat the boy was holding. 

"Do you think I could have a look at the rat?" he said evenly.

"What?" said Ron. "What's Scabbers got to do with it?"

"Everything," Remus answered, not taking his eyes off the rat. "Could I see him, please?"

Ron hesitated, then reached inside his robes. He dragged Scabbers – Peter – out by his long bald tail. The grey, ill-looking rat frantically and desperately tried to escape, but Ron had a tight hold of him. The ginger cat on Sirius' lap stood up and hissed softly. 

Remus bowed forward to examine the rat more closely. He was unconsciously holding his breath when he noticed small but familiar things – a small rip off an ear, the way the rat moved.

"What?" Ron said, holding the rat close to him. He sounded irritated and scared. "What's my rat got to do with anything?" 

"That's not a rat," croaked Sirius suddenly. It was the first time Remus heard him talk – it sounded as if Sirius hadn't used his voice in a long time. 

"What d'you mean – of course he's a rat –" Ron clearly had no idea what they were on about.

"No, he's not," said Remus quietly. "He's a wizard."

"An Animagus," Sirius added, "by the name of Peter Pettigrew."

Remus could understand the looks the trio was giving them. It was voiced by Ron Weasley, who stated that "You're both mental." 

"Ridiculous," Hermione chided faintly. 

"Peter Pettigrew´s dead!" Harry added. "He killed him twelve years ago!" He pointed at Sirius again, who's face twitched. 

"I meant to," he growled, his yellow teeth bared as if he was still in dog-form, "but little Peter got the better of me... not this time, though!" Before any of them had the time to react, he suddenly lunged at Peter. He landed with his full weight – though that wasn't much – on Ron, who screamed with pain as Sirius pressed hard on his broken leg. 

"Sirius, NO!" Remus yelled, running forward and dragging Sirius away from Ron. He tried to get a hold of the struggling, murderous man. "WAIT! You can't do it just like that – they need to understand – we've got to explain – "

"We can explain afterwards!" Sirius snarled, fighting to push Remus away. But he was underfed and weak, and Remus had his werewolf-strength to use. Sirius could do nothing but idly claw the air and glare at Peter, who was squealing as if he was being murdered, and he scratched Ron´s face and neck as he tried to get away.  

"They've – got – a – right – to – know – everything!" Remus panted. He clamped his arms around Sirius, trying to keep him away from the red-head and Peter. "Ron's kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don't understand, and Harry – you owe Harry the truth, Sirius!" 

This stopped Sirius, and he went calm, though his eyes were still fixed on Peter. Ron was holding his rat tightly and protectively under his scratched hands.

"All right, then," Sirius said reluctantly. "Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for..."

"You're nutters, both of you," said Ron shakily, looking at Harry and Hermione for support. "I've had enough of this. I'm off." He heaved himself up and tried to stand on his good leg, but Remus took out his wand and pointed it at Peter, and thus at Ron. He was not going to let him get away so easily. The truth needed to be told. 

"You're going to hear me out, Ron," he said quietly. "Just keep a tight hold on Peter while you listen."

"HE'S NOT PETER, HE'S SCABBERS!" Ron yelled. He tried to put the rat back in his front pocket, but Peter was struggling with all his might to get away. Ron overbalanced, and Harry caught him and gently pushed him back onto the bed. Then he looked at Remus. 

"There were witnesses who saw Pettigrew die," he said. "A whole street full of them..."

"They didn't see what they thought they saw!" Sirius said harshly, before Remus could say anything. 

"Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter," confirmed Remus, nodding. "I believed it myself – until I saw the map tonight. Because the Marauder's map never lies... Peter's alive. Ron's holding him, Harry."

Harry looked down at Ron, and Ron looked back. Remus had the feeling the two of them silently agreed that both Remus and Sirius were completely mad. Hermione broke the silence in a forced-calm voice. "But Professor Lupin... Scabbers can't be Pettigrew... it just can't be true, you know it can't..."

"Why can't it be true?" Lupin said calmly. Knowing Hermione, she would have some reasonable explanation for her statement. 

"Because... because people would know if Peter Pettigrew had been an Animagus," she said hesitantly. "We did Animagi in class with Professor McGonagall. And I looked them up when I did my homework – the Ministry of Magic keeps tabs on witches and wizards who can become animals; there's a register showing what animal they become, and their markings and things... and I went and looked Professor McGonagall up on the register, and there have been only seven Animagi this century, and Pettigrew's name wasn't on the list."

This was so true and it was so Hermione-like, that Remus started to laugh. "Right again, Hermione!" he said. "But the Ministry never knew that there used to be three unregistered Animagi running around Hogwarts." 

"If you're going to tell them the story, get a move on, Remus," Sirius cut in. Twelve years of Azkaban hadn't made him any more patient. "I've waited twelve years, I'm not going to wait much longer."

"All right... but you'll need to help me, Sirius," said Remus. "I only know how it began..." A loud creak behind him made him break off. The door leading to the bedroom had opened, though there was no one to be seen. Remus, who was closest to the door, carefully walked towards it and peeked out into the landing, which was completely deserted. "No one there…" he muttered. One moment, he thought he heard a soft creaking of a floorboard, and it felt as if he was being watched, but the only thing moving was a speck of dust floating through the air. 

"This place is haunted!" said Ron.

"It's not," said Remus, resuming his original place but still looking at the door. "The Shrieking Shack was never haunted.... The screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by me." 

He thoughtfully pushed a lock of hair out of his eyes. This was going to be a long story, and were to begin? At the beginning, of course. Just like the Mad Hatter said, in _Alice in Wonderland. _Begin at the beginning, and end at the end. 

"That's where all of this starts – with my becoming a werewolf," he started. "None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitten... and if I hadn't been so foolhardy..."

Ron opened his mouth as if to say something, but Hermione hissed at him to be quiet. She had her eyes fixed on Remus. 

"I was a very small boy when I received the bite," he continued. "My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week, preceding the full moon, I keep my mind when I transform.... I'm able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again.

"Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully fledged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me.

"But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school...." Remus looked at Harry, who looked back. "I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I came to Hogwarts. This house" – he gestured around, - "the tunnel that leads to it – they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous."

The three children were now listening raptly to his story, almost like it was some kind of bedtime-story. The only sound, apart from Remus' voice, was Peter's squeaking. Sirius was still looking at the rat, only occasionally gazing at Remus as if telling him to get a move on. 

"My transformations in those days were – were terrible," Remus went on. "It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead." Hermione half-nodded, as if he was confirming something she'd read in a book. But then, he thought, he probably was. "The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumour.... Even now, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don't dare approach it....

"But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black... Peter Pettigrew... and, of course, your father, Harry – James Potter." He nodded to Harry, who stared back, wide-eyed. 

"Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her... I was terrified they would desert me the moment they found out what I was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, worked out the truth....

"And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something for me that would make my  transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi."

"My dad too?" said Harry, astounded. His mouth was slightly aghast. 

"Yes, indeed," Remus said, smiling. "It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong – one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will."

"But how did that help you?" said Hermione. She frowned, trying to puzzle it out.

"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals," Remus told her. "A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. They transformed... Peter, as the smallest, could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them."

"Hurry up, Remus," Sirius interrupted him. His eyes were still fixed on Peter. The poor rat was still being pinned down by Ron, and could do nothing but sit it all out. 

"I'm getting there, Sirius, I'm getting there..." Remus said reassuringly. "Well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform. Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did.... And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and

sign it with our nicknames. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs."

"What sort of animal –?" Harry tried to ask a question, but Hermione harshly cut him off.  

"That was still really dangerous!" she said indignantly. "Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"

"A thought that still haunts me," Remus admitted. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless – carried away with our own cleverness.

"I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course... he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month's adventure. And I haven't changed..." He narrowed his eyes in self-disgust at the thought of the past year. "All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn't do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me... and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it...  so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along."

"Snape?" Sirius cut in. For the first time in minutes, he took his eyes off the wriggling rat and looked at Remus. "What's Snape got to do with it?" He had a disgusted look in his deep eyes. 

"He's here, Sirius," Remus said heavily. "He's teaching here as well." He looked at Harry, Ron and Hermione, who were giving the two of them blank looks. "Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defence Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore A year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons... you see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me –"

Sirius snorted disdainfully. "It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to... hoping he could get us expelled...."

"Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Remus told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we – er – didn't like each other very much." _Understatement of the century… "He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field... anyway, Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be – er – amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he'd be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it – if he'd got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf – but your father – " he nodded at Harry – ", who'd heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life... Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was...."_

"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Harry slowly, figuring it all out, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"

"That's right," someone behind Remus sneered. There was the rustling of a silk-like fabric. Hermione screamed. Remus turned around and saw an ebony wand pointed directly at his face. There, his wand in one hand, an invisibility cloak in his other hand – _I was right, there was someone on that landing – stood Severus Snape, a content smirk on his face…_


	14. Shrieking Shack part 2

Remus reflexively stepped backwards, towards Sirius, who jumped to his feet. 

"I found this at the base of the Whomping Willow," Snape said, and he threw the Cloak aside, on the dusty floor. He kept his wand pointed at Remus, however. "Very useful, Potter, I thank you…" Harry looked as though Snape thanking him was the last thing he wanted.

"You're wondering, perhaps, how I knew you were here?" Snape continued in a soft but dangerous whisper, his black eyes glittering. "I've just been to your office, Lupin. You forgot to take your potion tonight, so I took a gobletful along. And very lucky I did... lucky for me, I mean. Lying on your desk was a certain map. One glance at it told me all I needed to know. I saw you running along this passageway and out of sight."

"Severus –" Remus tried to say something, but Snape overrode him.

"I've told the headmaster again and again that you're helping your old friend Black into the castle, Lupin," he nearly shouted, "and here's the proof. Not even I dreamed you would have the nerve to use this old place as your hideout –"

"Severus, you're making a mistake," said Remus urgently, desperately trying to talk some sense into the Potions Master. All he could think of was Sirius, only a few feet behind him, who would be put back into Azkaban, or worse, if Snape had his way. "You haven't heard everything – I can explain – Sirius is not here to kill Harry –"

"Two more for Azkaban tonight," said Snape, his eyes now gleaming fanatically. "I shall be interested to see how Dumbledore takes this.... He was quite convinced you were harmless, you know, Lupin... a tame werewolf –" 

That was the final straw. Remus had spend nearly a year trying to be at least civil towards Snape. He had somehow convinced himself that the man could be redeemed, that they were both no longer schoolboys, but adults, and that old grudges and rivalry were behind them. But now he was looking at Snape, and it seemed as if his eyes were suddenly opened, and he saw the real Snape – vengeful, bitter and almost childish in his attempt to get revenge for what had happened nearly seventeen years ago.  

"You fool," he said softly. He was suddenly disgusted by his colleague. "Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban?"

He really should not have said that. 

BANG! Snape waved his wand and thin cords burst from the end of it. They twisted itself around Remus' wrists, ankles and mouth, binding and gagging him. Remus tried to stay on his feet but overbalanced and hit the floor with a thud. He wriggled and tried to move, but the ropes were too tight. Sirius roared with anger and started towards Snape, a murderous look on his face, but Snape pointed his wand straight between Sirius' eyes.

"Give me a reason," he said softly, at the same time dangerously and delightedly. "Give me a reason to do it, and I swear I will."

Sirius and Snape were looking daggers at each other. Remus tried to draw their attention but could only let out a few moans and the two men towering over him didn't notice him. They also didn't notice the children, caught up in their mutual hate as they were – until Hermione stepped forward and broke the silence.  

"Professor Snape," she said, nearly breathlessly," – it wouldn't hurt to hear what they've got to say, w – would it?"

"Miss Granger, you are already facing suspension from this school," Snape spat at her, still keeping his wand pointed at Sirius with a steady, unmoving hand. "You, Potter, and Weasley are out-of-bounds, in the company of a convicted murderer and a werewolf. For once in your life, hold your tongue."

"But if – if there was a mistake –" Hermione tried. It was an attempt to much for Snape.

"KEEP QUIET, YOU STUPID GIRL!" he shouted. "DON'T TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" A few sparks shot out of the end of his wand, which was still pointed at Sirius's face. Hermione fell silent.

"Vengeance is very sweet," Snape nearly breathed at Sirius. His eyes glittered and he was pale except for two furiously red blushes on his cheeks. He looked downright deranged. "How I hoped I would be the one to catch you...."

"The joke's on you again, Severus," Sirius snarled back, not caring about the wand pointed at him. "As long as this boy brings his rat up to the castle" – he jerked his head at Ron – "I'll come quietly...."

"Up to the castle?" said Snape silkily, raising an eyebrow as if Sirius was only a little child and couldn't be taken seriously. "I don't think we need to go that far. All I have to do is call the Dementors once we get out of the Willow. They'll be very pleased to see you, Black... pleased enough to give you a little kiss, I daresay..."

Sirius paled visibly, and when he spoke again, it was with a croaking voice in which the urgency and the panic was clearly audible. "You – you've got to hear me out," he said. "The rat – look at the rat –"

But Snape didn't care about anything except getting revenge for something that happened so long ago. "Come on, all of you," he said, snapped his fingers, and the ends of the cords that bound Remus flew to his hand. Remus could feel the tugging of the robes as he was drawn up in an uncomfortable half-lying half-sitting position. "I´ll drag the werewolf," Snape continued. "Perhaps the Dementors will have a little kiss for him too – "

Before anyone had the time to react, Harry crossed the room in a few long steps and blocked the doorway, so that Snape couldn't get out. 

"Get out of the way, Potter, you're in enough trouble already," the Potions master snarled at him. "If I hadn't been here to save your skin –"

"Professor Lupin could have killed me about a hundred times this year," Harry said bravely, lifting his chin and looking Snape directly in the eye. "I've been alone with him loads of times, having defence lessons against the Dementors. If he was helping Black, why didn't he just finish me off then?"

"Don't ask me to fathom the way a werewolf's mind works," hissed Snape, infuriated by the boy getting in his way. "Get out of the way, Potter."

"YOURE PATHETIC!" Harry yelled. "JUST BECAUSE THEY MADE A FOOL OF YOU AT SCHOOL YOU WON'T EVEN LISTEN –"

"SILENCE! I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO LIKE THAT!" Snape shrieked, mad beyond reason. If Remus had ever hoped that Snape was human, that he could be redeemed, even liked, then those hopes were now crushed into the ground. If someone in this room was a murderous psychopath, then it was Snape, and not Sirius. "Like father, like son, Potter!" Snape snarled, beads of spit shining on his lower lip. "I have just saved your neck; you should be thanking me on bended knee! You would have been well served if he'd killed you! You'd have died like your father, too arrogant to believe you might be mistaken in Black – now get out of the way, or I will make you. GET OUT OF THE WAY, POTTER!"

"_EXPERLLIARMUS!" _shouted three voices at the same time. Snape was blasted backwards and it was lucky his fingers let go of the ropes, because he would've dragged Remus with him. His head hit the wall almost with a crash, and he slumped onto the ground, knocked out cold. Remus turned his head to see where the blast had come from, and he wasn't that surprised to see the three children with their wands pointed at their Potions Professor. 

"You shouldn't have done that," Sirius broke the sudden silence as he spoke to Harry. "You should have left him to me...." Harry didn't look at him. 

Hermione seemed in a state of shock; she had her hands over her mouth, her fingers nearly covering her eyes as she stared at the unconscious Snape. "We attacked a teacher… we attacked a teacher…" Remus could hear her whimper. "Oh, we're going to be in so much trouble…" It didn't seem to occur to her that by attacking one teacher, it was very well possible that she saved the life of one of her other teachers. 

It wasn't until now that Sirius noticed the uncomfortable position Remus was in, and he quickly bent down and untied the ropes. Remus got onto his feet and rubbed his wrists where the ropes had cut him. He saw Harry looking at him, and he half-muttered, "thank you, Harry." He felt a bit ashamed that the boy had had to save his teacher, instead of the other way around. 

"I'm still not saying I believe you," Harry said defensively. 

"Then it's time we offered you some prove," Sirius answered. "You, boy – " he nodded at Ron," – give me Peter, please. Now." 

It didn't have the intended effect: Ron clutched the rat only closer to his chest. "Come off it," he said weakly. "Are you trying to say he broke out of Azkaban just to get his hands on Scabbers? I mean..." He looked up at Harry and Hermione for support, "Okay, say Pettigrew could turn into a rat – there are millions of rats – how's he supposed to know which one he's after if he was locked up in Azkaban?"

Remus frowned. True. How _did Sirius know which rat he was after? He turned to Sirius. "You know, Sirius, that's a fair question," he said. "How did you find out where he was?"_

Instead of answering, Sirius reached inside his robes with one of his bony, clawlike hands and took out a battered, crumpled piece of paper, torn at the edges. He smoothed it flat almost lovingly, then held it out to show the others. 

It was a paper clipping of a large family, waving in front of a pyramid. To his surprise, Remus recognised five of his own students: Percy, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny Weasley. And there, on Ron´s shoulder, was a large, grey rat, his bald tail around the boy's neck for support. 

"How did you get this?" Remus asked, thunderstruck. 

"Fudge," Sirius explained. "When he came to inspect Azkaban last year, he gave me his paper. And there was Peter, on the front page on this boy's shoulder... I knew him at once... how many times had I seen him transform? And the caption said the boy would be going back to Hogwarts... to where Harry was..." 

Remus couldn't take his eyes of the picture. He looked at the rat on the picture and the real-life rat, comparing the two and seeing more and more similarities. And then he noticed the missing toe. "My God," he muttered. "His front paw..."

"What about it?" said Ron defiantly.

"He's got a toe missing," said Sirius. 

"Of course," Remus whispered, hardly believing his own thoughts. "So simple... so brilliant... he cut it off himself?"

"Just before he transformed," Sirius confirmed. "When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself – and sped down into the sewer with the other rats...."

By now, Ron was shaking his head in denial. He clearly still couldn't believe it, he still thought the two of them were raving mad. 

"Didn't you ever hear, Ron?" said Remus. "The biggest bit of Peter they found was his finger."

"Look, Scabbers probably had a fight with another rat or something!" Ron tried to argue. "He's been in my family for ages, right –"

"Twelve years, in fact," Remus answered. "Didn't you ever wonder why he was living so long?"

"We – we've been taking good care of him!" said Ron, but there was now a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. 

"Not looking too good at the moment, though, is he?" Remus said casually. "I'd guess he's been losing weight ever since he heard Sirius was on the loose again...."

"He's been scared of that mad cat!" said Ron, nodding toward the huge ginger cat, who was still purring on the bed.

"This cat isn't mad," Sirius said hoarsely. He reached out a bony hand and petted the cat affectionately, like one would do with an old pet that had become a very good friend. "He's the most intelligent of his kind I've ever met. He recognised Peter for what he was right away. And when he met me, he knew I was no dog. It was a while before he trusted me.... Finally, I managed to communicate to him what I was after, and he's been helping me. .. "

"What do you mean?" whispered Hermione, for the first time joining the conversation since Snape had been knocked out. 

"He tried to bring Peter to me, but couldn't... " Sirius explained to her, "so he stole the passwords into Gryffindor Tower for me.... As I understand it, he took them from a boy's bedside table...."

_And that boy was Neville Longbottom… _Remus thought. It all fitted like a bizarre puzzle. 

"But Peter got wind of what was going on and ran for it," Sirius continued. "This cat – Crookshanks, did you call him? – told me Peter had left blood on the sheets... I supposed he bit himself... Well, faking his own death had worked once."

This triggered something in Harry. "And why did he fake his death?" he said furiously, his voice raised.  "Because he knew you were about to kill him like you killed my parents!"

"No," said Remus, "Harry –"

"And now you've come to finish him off!" The boy pointed at Sirius, who didn't even try to deny it. "Yes, I have," he said, glaring at Peter.

"Then I should've let Snape take you!" Harry shouted.

"Harry," Remus interrupted hurriedly, "don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down – but it was the other way around, don't you see?" He barely noticed he even gestured with his hands to make his point clear, to urge Harry to see the truth. "Peter betrayed your mother and father – Sirius tracked Peter down –"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Harry yelled back. "HE WAS THEIR SECRET-KEEPER! HE SAID SO BEFORE YOU TURNED UP. HE SAID HE KILLED THEM!" 

He was pointing at Sirius again. The man shook his head slowly, his eyes shining. "Harry... I as good as killed them," he croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me.... I'm to blame, I know it...." He breathed shallowly, nearly overcome with emotions. His right hand was unconsciously clenched into a fist. "The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he'd gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies... I realised what Peter must've done... what I'd done...." His voice broke with something that sounded dangerously much like a sob. He turned his face away from the children, but Remus could see some fast blinking. 

"Enough of this," he cut in, a steely ring in his voice. "There's one certain way to prove what really happened. Ron, give me that rat." He stretched out his hand.

"What are you going to do with him if I give him to you?" Ron asked, the rat still in his hands, but Remus could see that the red-head was starting to believe them.

"Force him to show himself," said Remus, his hand still outstretched. "If he really is a rat, it won't hurt him."

Ron hesitated. Then at long last, he held out the rat and Remus firmly took the rat in his left hand, his wand ready in his other hand. The rat was squeaking and twisting even madder than before, scratching Remus' hand in an attempt to get away. His tiny black eyes were bulging in his head, giving the animal a quite insane look. Remus looked at Sirius. "Ready, Sirius?" he asked.

Sirius had regained his composure again and had picked up Snape's wand from the bed, where it had landed after its short flight through the air. He approached Remus and the rat, the ebony wand in his hand, and judging from the look he gave the rat, he now even blamed the animal for his wet eyes and the blinking he still occasionally did. 

"Together?" he said quietly.

"I think so," Remus confirmed. He stretched out his left hand and the two of them pointed their wands at the rat. "On the count of three. One – two – THREE!"

It was a simple spell that the two of them had performed occasionally in their schooldays, especially when they had just begun learning how to become an Animagi, and one of them was stuck in their animal form. Especially Peter, of course, had found himself in rat-form on many occasions. In that sense, this was an almost comfortingly familiar happening. 

A flash of blue-white light filled the room. For a moment, the small form of the rat hung in mid-air. His limps were twisting madly and Ron yelled furiously, then the rat fell and hit the floor. Then everything went exactly like Remus expected. 

There was another flash, and suddenly the rat seemed to grow on top-speed. Limps were growing out of the tiny body, a head seem to come out of nowhere, and only seconds later there was a man standing where the rat had been. 

It was Peter, exactly like Remus remembered him – only thirteen years older. He was still very small – he always had been – and his hair was colourless and very thin, so thin that Remus could almost see the skin underneath it. Peter had always been chubby, bordering on fat, but he was now skinny compared to how he looked in his youth. It seemed as though he had lost a lot of weight in only a few months. His face was pale and ashen, sickly, and he was wringing his hands and looking around the room as if he was looking for a way to escape. His breathing went fast and shallow, nearly hyperventilating when he looked at Sirius. Peter was guilty and caught, and he knew it only too well. 

Sirius made a movement as if he wanted to start towards Peter, but Remus stretched out his arm and held him back, giving his friend a warning look. He then turned to Peter.

"Well, hello, Peter," he said pleasantly, as though the two of them had just met on a school reunion. "Long time, no see."

"S – Sirius... R – Remus..." Peter squeaked like the rat he was. He didn't seem to be able to hold his eyes still, as they shot from the door to Remus' and Sirius' faces. "My friends... my old friends..."

Sirius started towards Peter again, Snape´s wand raised, but Remus firmly seized him around the wrist and shook his head almost unnoticeably. He turned to Peter again, keeping his voice light and casual, nearly tasting the sarcasm on his tongue. 

"We've been having a little chat, Peter, about what happened the night Lily and James died," he said. "You might have missed the finer points while you were squeaking around down there on the bed –"

"Remus," gasped Peter, interrupting Remus. He was now wiping his sweaty hands on his robes. Beads of sweat shone on his face, and his eyes were filled with panic. "You don't believe him, do you...? He tried to kill me, Remus..."

"So we've heard," said Remus, more coldly this time. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, Peter, if you'll be so –" Again he couldn't finish his sentence.

"He's come to try and kill me again!" Peter squeaked, pointing with his middle finger at Sirius, because he didn't have an index anymore. It looked strange and slightly sickening, all the more when Remus remembered Peter had cut off his finger himself…"He killed Lily and James and now he's going to kill me too... You've got to help me, Remus...." Peter finished pleadingly. 

Remus looked at Sirius, who was staring at Peter with dry, fathomless eyes. The murderous rage seemed to have changed into an indifferent disgust. 

"No one's going to try and kill you until we've sorted a few things out," Remus said.

"Sorted things out?" Peter repeated, still looking around the room like mad, looking for something only he knew. "I knew he'd come after me! I knew he'd be back for me! I've been waiting for this for twelve years!"

"You knew Sirius was going to break out of Azkaban?" said Remus, frowning. "When nobody has ever done it before?"

"He's got dark powers the rest of us can only dream of!" Peter shouted shrilly, still trying to talk himself out of this. "How else did he get out of there? I suppose He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named taught him a few tricks!"

Sirius laughed at this, a hollow, mirthless laugh that send shivers down Remus' spine.

"Voldemort, teach me tricks?" Sirius said disdainfully. Peter flinched when Sirius spoke. "What, scared to hear your old master's name?" said Sirius, sounding strangely much like Snape. "I don't blame you, Peter. His lot aren't very happy with you, are they?"

"Don't know what you mean, Sirius –" muttered Peter. His face was twisted in a nervous half-smile, and beads of sweat shone on his forehead. He looked visibly uncomfortable. 

"You haven't been hiding from me for twelve years," Sirius continued. "You've been hiding from Voldemort's old supporters. I heard things in Azkaban, Peter... They all think you're dead, or you'd have to answer to them.... I've heard them screaming all sorts of things in their sleep. Sounds like they think the double-crosser double-crossed them. Voldemort went to the Potters' on your information... and Voldemort met his downfall there. And not all Voldemort's supporters ended up in Azkaban, did they? There are still plenty out here, biding their time, pretending they've seen the error of their ways. If they ever got wind that you were still alive, Peter –"

"Don't know... what you're talking about..." Peter said again, more shrilly than ever. He wiped his wet face on his sleeve and looked up at Remus, pleadingly, screaming for protection. "You don't believe this – this madness, Remus --"

"I must admit, Peter," Remus said evenly, aloof, "I have difficulty in understanding why an innocent man would want to spend twelve years as a rat." 

"Innocent, but scared!" squealed Peter. "If Voldemort's supporters were after me, it was because I put one of their best men in Azkaban – the spy, Sirius Black!"

Sirius face darkened. "How dare you," he growled, much like his Animagus-form. "I, a spy for Voldemort? When did I ever sneak around people who were stronger and more powerful than myself? But you, Peter – I'll never understand why I didn't see you were the spy from the start. You always liked big friends who'd look after you, didn't you? It used to be us... me and Remus... and James...."

Peter wiped his face again. He was now nearly hyperventilating, and his hands shook nervously. "Me, a spy... must be out of your mind..." he muttered under his breath, "never... don't know how you can say such a –"

"Lily and James only made you Secret-Keeper because I suggested it," Sirius hissed, his voice so venomously that Peter staggered backwards, towards the bed. Ron automatically recoiled. "I thought it was the perfect plan..." Sirius continued. "A bluff... Voldemort would be sure to come after me, would never dream they'd use a weak, talentless thing like you.... It must have been the finest moment of your miserable life, telling Voldemort you could hand him the Potters."

Peter's hands wriggled and played with the sleeve of his robes. He was still muttering under his breath. "That is the most far-fetched thing I've ever heard… me, the spy… complete lunacy…" 

"Professor Lupin?" Hermione suddenly said, making Remus jump. He had almost forgotten the children, but now he turned his face towards her. "Can – can I say something?" she asked shyly. 

"Certainly, Hermione," he said kindly, his voice completely the opposite of how it had sounded only moments before.

"Well – Scabbers – I mean, this – this man –" she said hesitantly. "He's been sleeping in Harry's dormitory for three years. If he's working for You-Know-Who, how come he never tried to hurt Harry before now?"

"There!" Peter shrieked, pointing at her with his four-fingered hand. "Thank you! You see, Remus? I have never hurt a hair of Harry's head! Why should I?"

"I'll tell you why," Sirius snarled, immediately crushing the glimmer of hope Peter had felt. "Because you never did anything for anyone unless you could see what was in it for you. Voldemort's been in hiding for fifteen years, they say he's half dead. You weren't about to commit murder right under Albus Dumbledore's nose, for a wreck of a wizard who'd lost all of his power, were you? You'd want to be quite sure he was the biggest bully in the playground before you went back to him, wouldn't you? Why else did you find a wizard family to take you in? Keeping an ear out for news, weren't you, Peter? Just in case your old protector regained strength, and it was safe to rejoin him...."

Peter opened and closed his mouth, lost for words. He was staring wide-eyed at Sirius. 

"Er – Mr. Black – Sirius?" said Hermione shyly, as if she was unsure she was allowed to talk to him. Sirius' head jerked towards her and he looked as if she was something long forgotten, something he'd only just started to remember. It had been over a decade since someone had addressed him as 'Mr. Black' or had even spoken to him in a kind way. 

"If you don't mind me asking," she continued, "how – how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use Dark Magic?"

"Thank you!" gasped Peter, nodding madly and gratefully at her. "Exactly! Precisely what I –"

Remus glared at him and he fell silent. This was exactly what Remus had been wondering. Leave it to Hermione to ask questions that everybody wanted to know but nobody had remembered to ask… 

Sirius frowned, as if he didn't quite knew the answer himself. "I don't know how I did it," he said slowly. "I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the Dementors couldn't suck it out of me... but it kept me sane and knowing who I am... helped me keep my powers... so when it all became ... too much... I could transform in my cell... become a dog. Dementors can't see, you know...." He swallowed. "They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions.... They could tell that my feelings were less – less human, less complex when I was a dog... but they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn't trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand....

"But then I saw Peter in that picture... I realised he was at Hogwarts with Harry... perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the Dark Side was gathering strength again... ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies... and to deliver the last Potter to them. If he gave them Harry, who'd dare say he'd betrayed Lord Voldemort? He'd be welcomed back with honours...." 

All the time, Peter was frantically shaking his head in denial, but nobody paid attention to him. Remus had his hands clenched into fists, his nails digging into the palms of his hands, and he was silently urging Sirius to continue. 

"So you see, I had to do something," Sirius said. "I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive... It was as if someone had lit a fire In my head, and the Dementors couldn't destroy it.... It wasn't a happy feeling... it was an obsession... but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past them as a dog.... It's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused.... I was thin, very thin... thin enough to slip through the bars.... I swam as a dog back to the mainland.... I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since, except when I came to watch the Quidditch, of course." He turned to look at Harry, a sad smile on his face. "You fly as well as your father did, Harry...."

Harry looked back at the skeleton-like man before him. Sirius swallowed, then said: "believe me. Believe me, Harry. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them." 

For the second time that evening, time seemed to have stopped for a few moments, and Remus felt like he was on the brink of tears when he saw Harry nodding, slowly but determinedly. He finally believed Sirius was innocent.

"No!" 

Peter was looking at them with the utmost horror, his face panic-stricken. He fell on his knees as if he legs couldn't hold him anymore, and he shuffled forwards, towards Sirius. His hands were clasped in front of his heaving chest as though he was praying Sirius to forgive him.

"Sirius – it's me... it's Peter... your friend... you wouldn't –" he gasped. But Sirius kicked him away. "There's enough filth on my robes without you touching them," he said. 

To Remus' horror and disgust, Peter then turned to him, those huge, pale eyes filled with fear, pleading for help, protection. "Remus!" he said. "You don't believe this – wouldn't Sirius have told you they'd changed the plan?"

"Not if he thought I was the spy, Peter," Remus said coldly. "I assume that's why you didn't tell me, Sirius?" he asked Sirius over Peter's head, as if the man wasn't there. 

"Forgive me, Remus," said Sirius solemnly.

"Not at all, Padfoot, old friend." Remus felt a strange kind of happiness. He started rolling up his sleeves. "And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy?"

"Of course," said Sirius, suddenly and unexpectedly flashing the 'Patented Sirius Black grin' at Remus. He caught his friend completely by surprise, but he couldn't have made Remus happier. There still was something of the old Sirius in there, waiting to come out. Sirius started rolling up his sleeves as well. "Shall we kill him together?" he suggested lightly.

"Yes, I think so," said Remus.

"You wouldn't... you won't..." gasped Peter. He knew his end would come in mere minutes, and he was trying everything to prevent it. He scrambled around to Ron.

"Ron... haven't I been a good friend... a good pet?" he pleaded. "You won't let them kill me, Ron, will you... you're on my side, aren't you?" 

Ron stared at Peter as if the man was a giant slug. "I let you sleep in my bed!" he said.

"Kind boy... kind master..." Pettigrew insisted, crawling toward Ron. "You won't let them do it.... I was your rat.... I was a good pet...."

"If you made a better rat than a human, it's not much to boast about, Peter," Sirius said almost jokingly. He seemed more occupied with rolling up his other sleeve than the bald man pleading for his life. 

Ron somehow wrenched his broken leg out of Peter's reach, and the man, realising it was hopeless, turned on his knees, staggered forward, and seized the hem of Hermione's robes.

"Sweet girl... clever girl..." he said softly. He sounded as if he was trying to tempt her to help him. "You -- you won't let them.... Help me...." But again it was in vain. Hermione pulled a face and nearly tore her robes pulling them out of Peter's hands. She backed away against the wall, and Peter, having only one option left, slowly turned towards the last person in the room. Harry. 

Peter trembled uncontrollably as he looked up at Harry from his kneeling position. His voice shook with fear. "Harry... Harry... " he muttered. "You look just like your father... just like him...."

"HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO HARRY?" Sirius bellowed, his hand trembling with anger. "HOW DARE YOU FACE HIM? HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT JAMES IN FRONT OF HIM?"

"Harry," whispered Peter. He shuffled towards Harry, his hands outstretched as if he was a pilgrim and Harry was the statue of a saint he had spent years to reach. "Harry, James wouldn't have wanted me killed.... James would have understood, Harry... he would have shown me mercy..."

Without a word, Remus and Sirius stepped forward, seized Peter's shoulders and yanked him back. Peter fell onto the floor, and he stared up at them with huge fearful eyes. 

"You sold Lily and James to Voldemort," said Sirius, with only a slightly trembling voice. "Do you deny it?" 

To Remus' surprise and slight disgust, Peter burst into tears. He curled up like a little child, and his body shook with his sobbing. 

"Sirius, Sirius, what could I have done?" he whimpered. "The Dark Lord... you have no idea... he has weapons you can't imagine.... I was scared, Sirius, I was never brave like you and Remus and James. I never meant it to happen.... He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named forced me –"

"DON'T LIE!" roared Sirius. "YOU'D BEEN PASSING INFORMATION TO HIM FOR A YEAR BEFORE LILY AND JAMES DIED! YOU WERE HIS SPY!" 

"He -- he was taking over everywhere!" gasped Peter, staring up at Sirius. "Wh – what was there to be gained by refusing him?"

"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Sirius. He seemed to have forgotten there were other people in the room, focussed as he was on Peter. "Only innocent lives, Peter!"

"You don't understand!" Peter cried. He stretched out his hands pleadingly. "He would have killed me, Sirius!"

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Sirius. He pointed his wand at Peter accusingly. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"

He took a small step back until he stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Remus.

"You should have realised," Remus said quietly, voicing what he knew Sirius was also thinking, "if Voldemort didn't kill you, we would. Good-bye, Peter." 

The both of them didn't notice Hermione covering her face, or Ron clenching his jaws and preparing himself for what was coming. They only saw Peter, cowering on the floor, looking up at them, knowing his last seconds were rapidly ticking away…

"NO!" 

Remus and Sirius both jumped, and Remus' wand-hand shook with surprise. Harry ran forward and placed himself in front of Peter, shielding the man from the wands. 

"You can't kill him," Harry said breathlessly. "You can't."

He couldn't have surprised them more.

"Harry, this piece of vermin is the reason you have no parents," Sirius snarled, gesturing at Peter. "This cringing bit of filth would have seen you die too, without turning a hair. You heard him. His own stinking skin meant more to him than your whole family."

"I know," Harry admitted, nodding. "We'll take him up to the castle. We'll hand him over to the Dementors.... He can go to Azkaban... but don't kill him."

"Harry!" Peter gasped, utterly relieved. He stroked the fabric of Harry's robes, then flung his arms around Harry's knees. "You – thank you – it's more than I deserve – thank you –"

"Get off me," Harry spat. He painfully prodded Peter in the face with one of his knees. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing it because – I don't reckon my dad would've wanted them to become killers – just for you."

No one moved. The room was silent, except for Peter's ragged breath. Remus exchanged a look with Sirius, and they simultaneously lowered their wands, though Sirius seemed to do it against his better judgement.

"You're the only person who has the right to decide, Harry," he said. "But think... think what he did...."

"He can go to Azkaban," Harry repeated. "If anyone deserves that place, he does..."

Peter was still on his knees, clutching his chest, and he was looking up at Harry with a look of the utmost gratitude. 

"Very well," Remus nodded. "Stand aside, Harry."

Harry frowned slightly and hesitate, unsure of what Remus was planning.

"I'm going to tie him up," Remus assured him. "That's all, I swear."

Harry nodded and stepped out of the way. Remus pointed his wand at Peter, and muttered the same spell Snape had used on him. Again, thin cords shot out of someone's wand, and only moments later, Peter was on the floor, bound and gagged.

"But if you transform, Peter," Sirius threatened, "we will kill you. You agree, Harry?"

Harry looked down at the pitiful man on the floor, and nodded.

"Right," said Remus. Now this was all over with, it was time to concern himself with more urgent matters. "Ron, I can't mend bones nearly as well as Madam Pomfrey, so I think it's best if we just strap your leg up until we can get you to the hospital wing."

He walked over to the four-poster and gently tapped the broken leg, muttering "_Ferula" while holding a piece of wood against the fracture. Bandages twisted itself against the leg and the piece of wood, strapping it tightly together. Remus helped the red-head to his feet and carefully held him while Ron tested his leg. _

"That's better," he said. "Thanks."

"What about Professor Snape?" said Hermione. She was standing next to the Potions Master, looking down at him. Remus knelt down next to the man and felt his pulse. 

"There's nothing seriously wrong with him," he assured her. "You were just a little – overenthusiastic. Still out cold. Er – perhaps it will be best if we don't revive him until we're safety back in the castle. We can take him like this...." He pointed his wand at Snape and muttered "_Mobilicorpus". Snape was suddenly drawn up into a standing position, but he was still unconscious, causing his head to loll from side to side. It was quite an unpleasant sight. _

Remus then picked up the Invisibility Cloak from near Snape´s feet, and safely tucked it inside his pocket. 

"And two of us should be chained to this," Sirius said. He prodded Peter with his feet. "Just to make sure."

"I'll do it," said Remus.

"And me," said Ron boldly. He limped forward, his face determined. Sirius waved his wand and conjured heavy manacles, with which Peter was bound to both Remus and Ron. Sirius took care of the floating Snape, and then the seven of them left the room, preceded by Crookshanks, who held his tail jauntily high.

~*~

Going through the corridor in the normal, usual way was already hard enough, but climbing through it with two people bound to you was complete torture. With every step he took, Remus had to keep the other two in mind, especially Ron, who was limping along with his broken leg. The corridor was too narrow to walk shoulder-by-shoulder, so they had to walk sideways. Peter didn't exactly help things either. He kept whimpering and crying, annoying Remus to no end. 

"What do you think they're going to do with him?" Ron asked. He distracted Remus, who painfully walked into a rock sticking out of the ceiling.

"I hope it's something painful," he muttered angrily, rubbing his head. "You okay Ron?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ron panted, dragging himself up by the stone walls of the corridor and Peter. "Would be glad if this was all over, though." 

"Almost there," Remus assured him. He could just see Crookshanks slipping through the entrance of the Whomping Willow. 

"Professor, do you really think they're going to send him to Azkaban?" Ron wanted to know.

"Positive," Remus said, deliberately turning his head towards Ron, so that Peter could see his face. "Sirius's been in there for twelve years while he was innocent, I think it's time the person who caused all this gets what he deserves." Ron nodded agreeingly, but Peter only whimpered more.  

Remus climbed out of the Whomping Willow with some effort, then helped Peter and Ron through the entrance. Sirius rather harshly pushed Snape out, then climbed out himself, followed by Harry and Hermione. They quickly brushed off sand and dust before setting off for the castle. 

This was a much easier walk, because they could simply walk side-by-side, instead of sideward. Peter had started to wriggle to release himself from the cords, but they were too tightly bound. But he could always transform – the ropes were tight for a human, but not at all for a rat.  

"One wrong move, Peter," Remus threatened, his wand pointed at his former friend. Peter whimpered and held himself still. 

The group silently walked down the sloping hills of the Hogwarts grounds. The castle seemed to grow before their very eyes as they got nearer. Ron and Remus had gotten the hang of walking in a six-legged race, and were now walking with considerable ease. 

"I like this weather," Ron commented. "Reminds you the summer holidays are near." 

"What, you mean you don't _like school?" Remus said, pretending to be shocked. "Ron, what would Percy think of you?"_

"Oh, I was only joking of course!" Ron grinned. "Had you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you really scared me for a minute," Remus continued the joke. He helped Peter – perhaps a bit too harshly - over some particularly nasty roots. They were nearing the edge of the forest. Only about half a mile to go, then they would reach Hogwarts. 

A cool breeze blew through the leaves of the trees. Huge clouds in the sky were slowly drifting along. An opening appeared, and clear moonlight bathed the grounds in a silvery light. The clouds in the sky were suddenly white, and it almost seemed day. Remus smiled at the beautiful scenery. He felt ultimately happy, here, with Sirius proven innocent, and the right person caught, out on the grounds in this perfect summer evening. He looked up at the sky, towards the source of light – and froze. 

Full moon. 

Immediately, he felt the familiar signs of the transformation. The feeling of thousands of tiny little spiders running up his legs, the shaking of his limbs… the sound of breaking and reshaping bones…

He turned around to Sirius, Harry and Hermione, dragging Peter and Ron with him. He stretched out a hand and tried to warn them, but could only let out a low growling. Harry started towards Ron, but Sirius pushed the boy back. 

"Leave it to me – RUN!" 

That was about the last thing Remus' human mind could understand. His head was lengthening, and he wanted to cover his face by his hands in some sort of attempt to stop the pain, but his hands had already changed into claws. He was suddenly hunchbacked when his spine took another shape, and the fabric of his robes tore because he grew too big for them. 

Mere minutes later, there was a snarling werewolf on the place were Remus had been. The Wolf yanked itself free from the manacles with which it had been bound to Ron and Peter. It snapped its fierce jaws and immediately picked up the scent of young, fresh humans. It started towards its prey, but suddenly collided with a massive black dog.

This was absolutely not what the Wolf wanted, and it was not exactly an animal that liked getting someone in its way. 

The Dog held the Wolf's neck between it's jaws and pulled it backwards, away from the humans. The Wolf immediately let the Dog pay for this when he scratched himself free and tried to bite the Dog back. They were jaw to jaw, occasionally standing on their hind-legs, fighting over who was the strongest, over who was going to get the humans. 

At first the Wolf seemed to have the upper hand. It growled menacingly, it's fur on it's neck on end to look bigger and more threatening. The Dog was not impressed, however, and simply growled back. The Wolf then decided to use desperate measures – claws and fangs. It nearly launched itself on the Dog, fighting furiously to mortally wound the Dog. His enemy rolled on his back, his claws turned upwards so that the Wolf only hurt himself. 

Trying to get a hold of the Dog's tail and dragging him away from the tasty humans proved to be impossible too, and the Wolf was starting to get desperate. When the Dog bit the Wolf again, and nearly tore a piece of it's ear off, the Wolf decided this prey was too hard to get. The Dog was obviously the stronger one, and at the moment, it was wiser to let him have the humans. The Wolf immediately put this thought into action: he turned on the spot and fled, leaving the Dog and the humans behind…


	15. Leaving Hogwarts

**It's Harry's birthday today!! Yes, it's July 31, and careful readers and/or devoted fans know that that's the day Harry – and JK Rowling – celebrates his/her birthday! Happy birthday to both of them!**

**Now, as for this chapter: I know it says "the end" at the end, but it's not really really the end. There's a chapter coming after this one, and that's the great Remus Lupin Interview chapter (sometimes known as the Pester Remus With Irritating And Inappropriate Questions chapter…). So hang on, this isn't the very last…**

**Friday June 7, 1994**.****

_"Well – goodbye, Harry," Lupin said, smiling. "It has been a real pleasure teaching you. I feel sure we'll meet again some time." _

It wasn't exactly usual for Remus to wake up with the first rays of sunlight on his face, and blades of grass tickling his back. He slowly opened his eyes, and just caught a brown rabbit wiggling its nose, smelling Remus, and running away. Remus frowned.

_Okay, three questions. Where am I? What am I doing here? And – why am I not wearing anything?_

He knew the answers almost immediately. Memories of the past evening came back to him. He dug his nails into the moist ground when he thought of Peter, how he had betrayed Sirius and the Potters. But he couldn't help but smile when he remembered that Sirius' name would be cleared, after all those years. At long last, justice had been done. He frowned when he remembered changing into a werewolf – _well that explains what I'm doing here in such a state – and he hoped he hadn't hurt anyone, or worse, ate anyone… a low rumble from his stomach assured him on that last part, and he had to laugh at the noise he was making. Especially in the quiet forest it seemed extra loud. He now also noticed it was quite cold outside, it being such a clear summer morning. _

"Time to get up and get to my chambers, before someone sees me and is scared to death," he told himself, his voice strangely loud in the silent morning. Of course, after he'd just said that, he had all kinds of visions of people who would love to see him like this, but he quickly shrugged those thoughts off. He only had to look at his scarred body to remember why he didn't want anyone to see him after a full moon. 

He made sure to stay hidden in the undergrowth at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He quickly moved towards the Whomping Willow, the place he remembered to be last, and he hoped fervently that at least some remnants of his clothes were still there – and his wand. To tell the truth, he felt more helpless without his wand than without his clothes – though of course he'd rather been seen without the former than without the latter…

The ground near the Whomping Willow looked like a small battlefield. The tree itself was thrashing about as usual, but the ground near the roots was trampled and muddy, as if two enormously large animals had been fighting there. Picking one of his new scratches – from a too close encounter with a blackberry bush probably – Remus almost absentmindedly thought of the possibility that he and dog-Sirius had been fighting. Perhaps to keep the wolf away from Harry and his friends – it had happened before, and Sirius was usually careful enough not to get bitten. 

He shivered in a fresh morning breeze, but one quick glance told him that all that was left of his clothes were tiny pieces. _Way to remind myself to take my clothes off before changing,_ he thought sourly. The situation was now getting awkward. He could hardly walk through the corridors with two branches to cover himself up… 

He had just thought that, when he saw something silvery shimmering on the ground. his heart nearly literally jumped when he recognised it as James', Harry's, the Potter's Invisibility Cloak. With a few quick steps, he reached the Cloak, and he quickly picked it up and wrapped it around himself, nearly purring with delight when he felt the warmth on his skin. 

He started looking around in the bushes and undergrowth near him, to find his wand, and it only took him about five minutes before he had the familiar wooden stick in his hand. He folded the hood of the Cloak over his head, to completely conceal himself, and set off for the castle. 

About fifteen minutes later, Remus softly closed the door behind him and let the Cloak slide off him. Blades of grass that were sticking to the soles of his feet were scattered all over the floor as he walked around, gathering clothes. He quickly turned on the taps of his shower and barely waited until the water was warm enough before he jumped under it. He stood under the shower just long enough to warm himself and to wash away the dirt and the blood on some of the scratches, then he got out again, dried and clothed himself. 

He was too nervous to sit down and wait until it was a reasonable time to go down for breakfast, so he fuzzed around in his room, throwing away the cold tea he had made himself only yesterday and shaking up cushions on his sofa. All the could think of was Sirius, and Peter. He imagined them somewhere in the castle, being questioned by someone from the Ministry, and telling the whole story, the _true story, of how it had happened, and then Peter would be send to Azkaban, and Sirius' name would be cleared, and then… he barely dared to think about what would happen then. Harry could come and life with his Godfather, of course. Sirius would be needing his own house, or maybe he could come and life with Remus – he had more than enough room. _

He woke up Monster with his anxious pacing through the room, and the little furball hopped towards him to get his first attention of the day, but Remus was too distracted to do anything than give the animal a short patting on the head. He started reorganising his books, just do give himself something to do, when he heard the clock just outside his chambers chime seven o'clock. Remus was unable to restrain himself any longer, he told himself that seven o'clock in the morning was late enough to go and see how Sirius was doing, wherever he was. He happily crossed the room to his door, his heart pounding fast, and he yanked the door open, ready to go. 

But he found himself face to face with Dumbledore.

"Professor!" he said, genuinely surprised. "I was about to leave." He felt a sting of annoyance – Dumbledore really had a knack of turning up at the least appropriate times. 

"Remus, could I have a word with you?" Dumbledore asked calmly, not showing any sign that he had noticed Remus' annoyance. 

"Sure, of course," Remus half-sighed. "Come in. I don't have anything to drink, I'm afraid." 

"Don't trouble yourself," Dumbledore waved. "Have you seen Minerva yet?" 

Remus frowned. What was this all about? "No, I haven't seen anyone yet."  

"And you were about to see how Sirius was doing, I take it?" 

"Yes, why?" Remus was starting to feel a bit uneasy. Dumbledore rarely showed up without a reason. "Is anything wrong?" 

"Do you want me to come to the point immediately?" Dumbledore answered with a question. Remus grabbed the back of one of his chair for support. "Sir?" 

"Sirius, Harry and Hermione were attacked by Dementors, Sirius was captured and the Dementors were already being called to perform the Kiss on him, but he escaped with the help of Harry and Buckbeak, Hagrid´s hippogriff, and both the hippogriff and Sirius are now on the run," Dumbledore summarised the events of last night. 

It was all a bit much to grasp in only a few seconds. 

"What, what, what?" Remus gaped. "Sirius, what?" Dumbledore sat down on a chair. 

"Sirius told me everything last night," he began. "Beginning with how he, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew became Animagi – " his blue eyes twinkled when he saw how Remus' knees gave way and he flopped down in a chair, completely devastated that his secret had come out after all. 

"O God," he moaned softly. "I'm sorry… I – I had wanted to tell you, but…" 

"Conveniently forgot about it?" Dumbledore suggested. "Well, the four of your taught me a lesson, especially you. From now on, I won't ever say that nobody can lie to me in my face again."  

Remus started to laugh with nervous relief. "O God," he said. "I feel so stupid. I really had meant to tell you, but, well, there was this stupid oath I had sworn..." 

"Yes, Sirius also told me about that," Dumbledore nodded. "That you had sworn to keep everything secret, everlasting loyalty, and so on. Now, Remus, please pay attention, because what I'm going to tell you know is… quite complicated…" 

He told everything that had happened last night, beginning at the point where Remus had transformed. He told Remus how Peter had escaped, what happened when Snape had woken up, the Dementors attacking and trying to suck Harry's soul out, but someone had driven them away. 

"It was a Patronus." Remus was sure of it. "It can't have been anything else." 

"Yes, but listen," Dumbledore said. "Now comes the really confusing part." He continued about the Timeturner, and Remus found himself picking up his jaw from the floor quite a few times. 

"… and that's more or less how Sirius escaped," Dumbledore concluded. Remus was staring at him, his mind still catching up with the last parts of the story.

"So…" he said slowly, "Harry saved Buckbeak, and flew with him to Flitwick´s office, and freed Sirius?"  

"Exactly," Dumbledore nodded. 

"And Sirius's on the run now? Again?"

"Again," the Headmaster sighed. "I know he is innocent, you know he is innocent, Harry knows it, thank Merlin – at least we know now who really is to blame – but I could not convince Cornelius Fudge. And Severus wasn't exactly a great help either…" 

"Yes…" Remus muttered. A thought suddenly sprang into his mind, and not exactly a reassuring thought. "Professor? Uhm, what about me?"

"Hm?" Dumbledore had been thinking about something else, but now he turned to Remus. "What about you?"

"Well, does anybody – " Fudge, he thought, but he didn't say it " – think I helped Sirius? Am I a suspect now too?" 

"Oh, no, thank heavens," Dumbledore smiled. "I managed to convince Fudge that you were actually helping Harry and his friends. Fighting off the evil convict Black, you know." He raised an eyebrow in an amused sort of way. "You even saved Severus' life, you realise that?" 

"Whoopee," Remus muttered, then he laughed softly. "I'm sure that'll annoy him to no end. Speaking of Snape, how is he?"   

"Alive, safe, in any way unhurt, except for his ego – Cornelius promised him an Order of Merlin for catching Black, but Harry snatched that Order away from him. You can imagine that he isn't exactly happy about that…" 

"No, I bet he isn't," Remus grinned. 

"So you'd better go a bit easy on him, he won't be Mr sunshine this morning," Dumbledore advised, getting up. "I trust you are okay too?" 

"Apart from being shaken, the usual transforming and the sudden news that Sirius is on the run, sought after but innocent _again_, I'm fine," Remus assured him. "At least now I know it wasn't him who betrayed James and Lily." He walked to the door and opened it. "Breakfast?" 

Dumbledore, however, stayed were he was. "And the Wolfsbane?" he asked.

Remus closed the door again. "What about it?"  

"You didn't have it last night. Harry, Mr Weasley and Miss Granger were lucky that Sirius was there to keep you away from them."

Remus bit his lower lip. "True," he admitted. "I could have bitten them, so easily. I could bite all of the students…" He could feel the happiness he just felt disappear. He had been so concerned with Sirius that he had all but forgotten about the fact that Harry and his friends had been so dangerously close to a werewolf. He broke into a cold sweat when he saw that Dumbledore was contemplating something.

"You're – you're not going to fire me because of that, are you?" he asked nervously. 

"Ah, Merlin knows I hate firing people," Dumbledore said, laughing softly, then turning serious again. "No, I won't fire you. Not now. But – " he raised one finger warningly. It gave Remus the feeling of being five again, but it was much too serious a situation to joke about. 

"But this was the first and last time without Wolfsbane. I cannot have my students hurt, or even worse, killed, by a member of my staff, whoever it is. That whole ordeal with Hagrid gave a worse enough blow to my and this school's reputation. Now, you can stay, but I trust that not a word goes out to anyone but the very few people involved. If anyone else does hear about it, I have no choice but to fire you. Do you understand?" 

Remus nodded.

"I will discuss this with Mr Potter and Weasley and Miss Granger after breakfast, once they're out of the hospital wing, and I will of course talk to Severus. You're too good a teacher to miss, Remus." Dumbledore smiled. "Now, about that breakfast – shall we?" 

Remus had always found it a strange experience to walk into the Great Hall at breakfasts, and seeing all those students who didn't have a clue as to what kind of spectacular things had happened that night. It had been a strange feeling back when he was still a student himself, and a Marauder, but it had never felt stranger than this morning. He was sitting on his usual place at the Staff Table, looking at the students, and he had the feeling that he had just come from another universe, filled with traitorous rats and innocent convicts, a universe  all the other people in the school had no idea of. 

Except for one person, of course.

Snape was staring chagrined as always at his cup of black coffee. He looked as though he had missed a night of sleep, and, Remus thought, he probably had. With Dumbledore´s advise in mind, he avoided Snape´s glances, and concentrated on his breakfast. 

An angry Snape, however, is not so easy to avoid. 

"Well, well, well, Lupin," he said, just under his breath. "You are looking particularly tired this morning. And what are you doing here? I was told that you were unable to teach this morning." With great reluctance, Remus had asked Snape to substitute for him again.  

He tried to ignore the Head of Slytherin House, but Snape wouldn't let go so easily. He had suffered a really painful blow that night, and someone was going to pay for it. That someone was Remus. 

"Oh, but of course." Snape cocked his head, an innocent smile on his face. Something in his voice made Remus look up, and he could almost see the axe coming down. 

"It must be pretty tiring, to be running around like a _werewolf_ all night…" Snape said silkily, but loud enough for everybody to hear.

The Great Hall silenced in mere seconds.  

Later, Remus could only remember the eyes, staring at him, frightened and accusingly. _A werewolf?_ some of the students mouthed. 

Remus forced himself to smile, but didn't quite succeed at it. Clenching his hand into a fist, his nails digging into the palm of his hand, but resisting the urge to hit Snape, he got up slowly. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but no sound came out. Instead, he nodded shortly to Dumbledore, who was looking at him with a concerned look on his face. Then, Remus walked, slowly and dignified, out of the Great Hall. 

It seemed as though there were a few minutes cut out of his memory when he found himself in a deserted corridor, doubling over and gagging with despair. He couldn't remember climbing stairs or walking through corridors, he could only remember the accusing stares, Snape´s words, and Dumbledore, echoing in his head: _I trust that not a word goes out to anyone but the very few people involved. If anyone else does hear about it, I have no choice but to fire you. _

He kept gagging, tears rolling down his face, in a violent but natural reaction to his world falling apart. After a few minutes, he felt a hand on his shoulder, pulling him to his feet, and Dumbledore´s voice: "not here, come." A strong hand on his arm, nearly cutting his circulation off, pushed him towards his own office. 

"Professor Dumbledore," he said with clenched jaws, "I'm sorry, but I'm resigning from my post as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." He wanted to keep the honour to himself. He'd rather go away himself than being send away.

The Headmaster didn't say anything until they reached Remus office. He closed the door behind him, then turned towards Remus, a grave expression on his face.

"You know I´d want it otherwise," he said, "but you also know I have no choice." Remus cut him off with a harsh wave of his hand. He had regained composure over himself, and he was now feeling strangely… distant. 

"I know," he said. "I'll start packing immediately. There is no reason to discuss this any further. I should've resigned this very morning – it was stupid to think that no one would find out." 

Dumbledore looked as though he wasn't so sure, and he wanted to say something, but thought the better of it when he saw the look on Remus' face.

"Very well," he said. "It seems as though I have no choice but to accept your resignation. Is there anything else I can do for you?" 

"Not at the moment," Remus replied, his back already turned towards Dumbledore as he was taking books off his shelve and piling them on the desk. He didn't see Dumbledore´s nod, but heard the door close behind him. Then he let out one, trembling sigh. Monster purred from somewhere, he couldn't see where.

"Yes," he told the invisible animal, and at the same time himself. "We're leaving. Time to go home again."

Around noon, Remus had nearly finished packing. The Grindylow was now swimming around in the Lake, and Remus had left his other creatures under the care of Hagrid. The only thing he had left to pack now where his clothes and the drawers of his desk. He had already stuffed Monster in the pocket of his cloak, and was about to leave in five minutes. The only things that were troubling him a little were the Marauders Map and the Invisibility Cloak – at least the Cloak had to go back to Harry, and maybe the Map too. On the other hand, it was also something Remus really wanted to keep himself… 

Speaking of the Marauders Map; Remus bent over it, and saw that the dot labelled Harry Potter was moving towards him. Not really surprised, Remus smiled to himself. Sometimes, the solution to a problem really did present itself. 

Harry knocked twice on the post of the door before entering, but he didn't need to warn Remus.

"I saw you coming," said Remus, smiling. He pointed to the Map.

"I just saw Hagrid," said Harry. "And he said you'd resigned. It's not true, is it?"

"I'm afraid it is," Remus sighed. He started opening his desk drawers and taking out the contents, packing them in his suitcase.

"Why?" said Harry, almost accusingly. "The Ministry of Magic don't think you were helping Sirius, do they?"

Remus glanced at the door, which was ajar, and he closed it to prevent someone from listening. 

"No," he said. "Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives." He sighed. "That was the final straw for Severus. I think the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he – er – accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast."

"You're not leaving just because of that!" said Harry.

Remus smiled wryly. "This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents.... They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you.... That must never happen again."

"You're the best Defence Against the Dark Arts- teacher we've ever had!" pleaded Harry. "Don't go!"

Remus shook his head, but didn't say anything. He continued emptying his drawers, but had to confess to himself that Harry's pleading felt like a warm bath on a cold day. He looked at Harry: "From what the headmaster told me this morning," he said, "you saved a lot of lives last night, Harry. If I'm proud of anything I've done this year, it's how much you've learned... Tell me about your Patronus."

"How d'you know about that?" said Harry, amazed.

"What else could have driven the Dementors back?"

Harry smiled, and started telling what had happened, and how he had driven the Dementors away. Remus had heard the story of the Timeturner that morning from Dumbledore, but what Harry was now telling him gave it another, bizarre twist. But when Harry told Remus the shape of his Patronus, Remus couldn't help but smile. 

"Yes, your father was always a stag when he transformed," he said. "You guessed right... that's why we called him Prongs."

He stuffed the last books into his briefcase, shut the drawers of his desk, and turned to Harry.

"Here – I brought this from the Shrieking Shack last night," he said, giving Harry the Invisibility Cloak. "And..." He hesitated for a few moments as he held the Map in his hand. He was feeling a bit reluctant to give it away, but finally held it out to Harry. "I am no longer your teacher, so I don't feel guilty about giving you back this as well. It's no use to me, and I daresay you, Ron, and Hermione will find uses for it."

Harry took the map and grinned. "You told me Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs would've wanted to lure me out of school..." he said. "You said they'd have thought it was funny." 

"And so we would have," said Remus, smiling himself. He closed his suitcase with some difficulty. "I have no hesitation in saying that James would have been highly disappointed if his son had never found any of the secret passages out of the castle." 

There was a knock on the door. Harry hastily stuffed the Marauder's Map and the Invisibility Cloak into his pocket.

It was, not to Remus' surprise, Dumbledore. He didn't seem surprised that Harry was there. 

"Your carriage is at the gates, Remus," he said.

"Thank you, Headmaster." Remus picked up his suitcase and the empty Grindylow tank. Perhaps it could be of some use as an overlarge fishbowl… 

"Well -- good-bye, Harry," he said, smiling. "It has been a real pleasure teaching you. I feel sure we'll meet again sometime. Headmaster, there is no need to see me to the gates, I can manage...." He had no desire to make the always painful experience of saying goodbye longer. 

"Good-bye, then, Remus," said Dumbledore soberly. Remus shifted the empty tank under one arm, so that he and Dumbledore could shake hands. Dumbledore´s hand was warm and comforting, and it seemed to give Remus just that last bit of strength he needed to nod and smile at Harry, and to walk out of his office. 

It was a blazing hot Friday afternoon, and the corridors were deserted, much to Remus' relief. He didn't want to see anybody, he just wanted to leave as quick as possible. 

It was strange to walk through the corridors, knowing that this was probably one of the last times he was looking at them. 

He was just walking down the Marble Staircase, when he heard someone gasp "professor –!" behind him. He stopped and turned around, looking to where the voice had come from. There, on top of the stairs, were four Ravenclaw girls. For a few seconds, they were looking at Remus, who stared back. Then, one of them muttered; "c´mon, let's go," pulling the other's away, glancing fearfully at Remus. She had some trouble with getting Lara away, but she finally let go of the banister, allowing herself to be pulled away. 

Remus felt a rush of anger, because he suddenly realised that Snape had destroyed more than just Remus' career as a teacher. A few hundred students now knew he was a werewolf, and chances were that by tomorrow, or at least when the summer holidays started, most of the parents knew too. But the anger ebbed away, and he slowly resigned to this as well. He turned around again, descending the last few steps, and walking out of the Entrance Hall.

A horseless carriage was waiting for him, and he got in, his suitcase and the tank on the bench opposite him. As soon as he shut the door, the carriage started moving towards the gates, towards Hogsmeade Station. 

Remus looked out of the window, to the grounds and the castle, both of which he would probably not see in a long time. He looked carefully at each detail, trying to fix everything in his memory. But the carriage rattled on, and soon, Hogwarts disappeared out of sight…

**The end.******


	16. The Interview

**Quote from The Matrix.**** And there's an Author's Note coming after this…**

**Summer of 1994.**

_"Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?"_

Remus hurried up the stairs, relieved to be out of the London Underground. It had never been his favourite place; he always seemed to get lost, and it could be terribly crowded. And it was especially irritating when you were late for an appointment – like he was this afternoon. And this appointment was a particular one he did not want to be late for. 

He had got the letter about two weeks ago. It came by ordinary Muggle post, with a stamp that had fascinated him. The envelope contained a letter, politely asking him if he would be as kind as to give an interview, but only if it wasn't any trouble, and if he really wanted, and he shouldn't hesitate to decline if he didn't want, and… 

The idea of an interview had surprised him, but he was flattered by the mere thought of someone thinking him important enough to ask for an interview, so he wrote back, saying that it was okay with him, that he was honoured, and where would the interview take place? 

They had agreed to meet in front of the Leaky Cauldron, and that's where he was heading for now. 

He arrived only five minutes too late, and tried to catch his breath while looking around for the girl he was supposed to meet. _We really should've agreed on some sort of sign, _he thought. The only thing he knew was that she was a Muggle – and at this time of the afternoon, the street was packed with Muggles. He took out the letter again.

_"Perhaps we can meet at __two o'clock in the afternoon, in the Leaky Cauldron? I've never been there, but I´d love to see it, and I bet you know where to find it – I, being a simple Muggle, probably can't see it… I heard there's a bookshop nearby, that will most likely keep me occupied until you arrive." _He pocketed the letter again and went to look in the bookshop. 

~*~

Remus had never been on a blind date, and if this was anything like it, he never would. It seemed as if today, every girl in the whole world who fitted in the right age-group had decided to come and buy a book in this particular shop. 

He had received several odd stares when he asked random girls "are you Linda?" One girl had positively freaked out when he had introduced himself; she probably thought he was some freak who was trying to hit on her. 

He was about to get desperate when he almost accidentally wandered into the dictionary section, and found a girl, dressed like a Muggle in jeans and a T-shirt and around 20 years old, emerged in an Dutch-English dictionary. Bingo. 

"Uhm, excuse me, but – " 

She looked up. "Yes?" then her eyes visibly widened. "Oh, oh my God… are you..? Professor Lupin?" 

"Well, maybe not with the professor-part, but yes…" 

She hastily put the dictionary back on the shelf and extended her hand before he had the chance to finish his sentence. 

"I'm Linda Lupos," she said, nearly breathlessly. "Very, _very nice to meet you!" _

He shook her hand. "Likewise." She giggled softly. 

"What?" 

"Oh, uhm, it's just… you really do have hair on your hands, don't you?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned the palms of his hands upwards. Small, soft, lightbrown hairs were painfully visible. Remus started to doubt if this interview had really been such a good idea. 

He pulled his hands back and stuck them safely in his pockets. "Well, uhm, shall we?" 

"Good idea." She followed him outside, to the Leaky Cauldron.

~*~

The wizard's pub was as busy and as cosy as ever. Bright sunlight filtered through the dusty windows. Tom, the bartender, was standing behind the counter. Linda pulled Remus' sleeve.

"He really does look like a walnut," she whispered, eyes shining with delight. He stared at her, then at Tom. 

"He does," he said finally. "I never looked at him that way, but he does look like a walnut." 

They found themselves seats in a quiet corner of the Leaky Cauldron, next to a window. Tom approached them to ask what they wanted to drink, and Remus noticed that, now he had seen the walnut-ness of Tom´s head, he couldn't keep himself from thinking about it every time he saw Tom. 

After the bartender had brought them their drinks, Remus turned towards the girl opposite him. "So," he said. "Let's get started. The interview."

She nearly choked on her drink. "Ah, yes, uhm… wait a sec…" Then she started digging in her bag. "Uhm…I got it right here… ah." She triumphantly took out a sheet of paper. "The questions." She spread the sheet flat on the table. The handwriting amazed Remus – it was small and precise, all the letters the same height – 

"You wrote this?" he asked, astounded. She frowned.

"No, my computer and my printer wrote this – oh! Of course, you wouldn't know, it's a Muggle thing." She saw his confused look, then started to explain with a lot of gesturing. "You see, a computer is a kind of box with a screen and a thing with letters on it and when you press the letters they appear on the screen, and it takes way less time and effort than actually writing it. And the printer, he can make the letters on the screen actually appear on paper, with ink, but I don't know how that works exactly."

He still didn't understand it.

"Never mind," she sighed. "Just remember it's a Muggle thing okay?"

"Okay," he replied, and he silently decided to get some books about modern Muggle-life; he wanted to be able to write like her.

"Okay, well, we'll start easy," she said. "Er – how are you?" 

She asked it so seriously it made him laugh. "I'm fine," he said. "Really. I'm excellent." 

"Great!" she replied. "Well, I wanted to start with what has happened before you came back to Hogwarts this year, things like your, uhm…" she lowered her voice, "you know, your… condition – "

"You can call it Lycantropy if you want to," he said helpfully. 

"Ah, uh, okay. And uhm, of course your time at Hogwarts with the Marauders, and what you did after that. And then I´d like to ask some things about last year, when you were teaching, and then after that maybe your plans for the future. Is that okay with you?" 

"Sure," he said. "Fire away." 

"Okay. Er, when you were bitten, you were, uh, five, right?"

"That's right."

"Er, were you ever teased with it?" 

"Well, no, not really. That may sound strange, but… no. Actually, not many people knew what I was, so they just treated me like everybody else. Of course, after they found, they would avoid me, but that's not really teasing. Uhm… I went to primary school for a couple of years after I was bitten, but my parents decided to teach me at home when there were too many near-accidents while playing, but I was never teased there. Simply because they didn't knew." 

"And the Marauders?" 

His eyes began to twinkle. "Ah, the Marauders. Yes, of course they teased me. But I teased them back so it wasn't a problem. Sirius would call me the Wolf-Man after some movie he'd seen, and I would call him a bad dog, and James was antler-boy, but it was just friendly teasing."

"What was the thing you heard the most?" she wanted to know. 

It didn't take him much thinking to answer. "The thing I heard the most was probably if I was having my periods again. I have heard that so much I now sometimes have the urge to hit someone if they say it." Remus sighed. "One time, my mom and my sister-in-law started a conversation about having your period right in front of me, and when I asked them to discuss it another time, my sister-in-law tried to make me join their conversation. She has no mercy, really…" 

"Ow, I'm sorry," Linda said, obviously biting back a grin. 

"Yeah right," he said sceptically. "But anyway, I am _not_ a woman, I am a _werewolf_, and that's quite different." 

"Okay, got that," she said. "Well, that was everything I actually wanted to know about that… Uhm… Scotland! What would you do if Chrystal turned up on your doorstep with a child, claiming it's your child?" It was all a bit too much and it went a bit too fast for him to take in at once.

"What? what? what?" he stammered. 

"Startled you, didn't I? What would you do if one day, the doorbell was ringing, and you open the door, and you see Chrystal – you know who I mean – and she has this adoring little kid, and she announces it's your child. What would you do?" 

"Oh, ah… o dear…" He distractedly ran his hand through his hair. "Uhm… scream. And scream. And scream some more. And probably take care of the child, if I need to…but she probably would've told me sooner. I think."

"Yeah, probably," Linda agreed. "Maybe."

"What?" There was something in the tone of her voice he didn't like. "Do you know something I don't know?" 

"What? No, no, of course not! It was just a 'what if'-question!" She fidgeted with the sheet of paper. "Uhm, okay. Have you even thought of going back to Scotland, to Loch Ness more accurately?" 

"Yes, the thought did occur to me," he admitted. "But…I never did it."

"Why not?" 

"I don't know… It'd just be… too complicated. And painful." He was amazed at how easily he confessed it. _It must have something to do with the fact that I´ll probably never see her after this,_ he thought. 

She nodded. "That sounds logical. By the way, how did your family react to it?" 

"Well, I don't think they ever found out. My mom may have suspected something, but I never told them, so I don't think they know. So, they didn't react to it," he shrugged. 

"Okay. Well, that was about everything I wanted to know… yep. Let's talk about last year – and let's get the most annoying person out of the way: Snape. If you could kick him, really hard and really painfully, like, in the groin or someplace like that, would you do it?" 

Remus was starting to get amused by the whole interview and her way of asking questions. This question made him smile. "Well, I guess you're referring to that whole 'he got me sacked'-thing. Yes, at that moment I could kick him. Several times actually." He raised his hands apologetically. "What can I say? I'm only human!" He lowered his hands again. "But now, I've more or less come to terms with it."

"You mean you've accepted that Snape´s a… not so very nice guy?" she said. 

"Well, you could put it that way…I mean, looking back at that night and the morning after, I´d probably do the same thing he did. He was just frustrated, and I was the one had to pay for his loss of the Order of Merlin."

"Are you sure you're human?" Linda wanted to know. Another question that made him laugh.

"Yes, pretty sure," he said. "Why?" 

"Well, you're so… nice. Snape made you loose your job and he was the one who caused S – your best friend to go on the run again, and still you don't really hate him. He told the whole school what you are!" She indignantly slapped her hand on the table, causing several people to look at them. 

"Shh!" he hissed. "I know he did. But I also know _why _he did it. Don't you think I'm pretty used to being avoided and having to leave suddenly? Let me tell you something: if you're avoided and lonely most of the time, you learn to appreciate the things you get. I enjoyed every day at Hogwarts because I knew it was another day in which nobody had found out what I was. Snape´s action came unexpected, but not really as a surprise. Yes, I hated to go, but I was also glad that I had managed to stay so long." 

His little speech had impressed her, he could see it. She was silent for a few moment, then said, carefully: "I see what you mean. I can understand it. But – I still don't like it that Snape did that."

"That's fine with me," he said generously. "Next question. Not about Snape, please."

"Okay. What was it like to teach Harry?" 

He smiled, this was a subject he liked. "It was… amazing. Strange, because he looks so much like James it's scary. And it felt like – this may sound strange – like I was teaching my own son or something." He laughed. "Because he was like James but he was so much younger. I mean, I remember him sitting in my lap when he was one, so, yeah, it was definitely strange to teach him." 

"How'd you react to the whole 'him being famous'-thing? I mean, did you see him as really special, The Boy Who Lived, or as just a normal boy?" 

"Pretty normal, I guess. Like I said, I knew him when he was a baby, so to me, he was just Harry. And about him defeating V – You Know Who; I was too much involved in that to see him as someone special. To me, his parents are special too. And Sirius, of course."

"And you," Linda added. He smiled.

"I'm just a tiny bit important," he said modestly. 

"Well, not such a tiny, tiny bit actually… Next question! What did you do with the Boggart and the Hinkypunk and all the other creatures you had?" 

"Oh, let me see… I set the Hinkypunk free in the Forbidden Forest… there's a group of Hinkypunks, so he's probably living with them now. My Grindylow´s now swimming around in the lake, unless the Squid ate it – but I don't think so. I don't think Grindylows are the number one on the Squid's menu – they're too difficult to catch. And my Boggart – I have to admit that I set it loose in the dungeons, so he's probably haunting around there. Hopefully it's Snape he's haunting." Remus grinned. "I might've forgiven him for what he did, but I simply can't kill the Marauder in me. He just has to live with it…" 

She grinned too. "Makes you wonder what he fears most."

"Ah, a subject for a long discussion. I bet that if Sirius was here, he'd come up with a very long list." He'd have to bring that subject on some time, if he ever got the chance to talk to Sirius again. 

"Ah, now you mention Sirius: did you believe him immediately when he said he was innocent?" 

"Not immediately-immediately," Remus said carefully. "He'd been saying he was innocent since the moment he was caught. But he'd never said it to my face. I had read it in the paper, but he had never directly said to me. So, when I looked at him, and he said he was innocent – I just knew it was true. Besides, would he really go through all that trouble of finding Peter if he was guilty? I don't think so." 

"That's true," she nodded. "Are you still in touch with him?" 

Remus unconsciously looked around to see if anyone could hear him. "Yes, at least, he send me a very short note, saying he was fine and that he was going south. That was all he wanted to say, but it was enough for me. At least I know he's safe." 

"Yeah, that's great," she agreed. "Well, I think we've reached the part of the interview about what you're going to do in the future. Any special plans?" 

"No, not really. Ah, yes. About two weeks ago, Romulus announced that I'm going to be an uncle again, so that's what I'm going to do." 

"Congratulations!" she said. "When will the child be born?" 

"Around November, he said."

"What do you think it's going to be, a boy or a girl?" 

He shrugged. "Well, I already have a niece, so a nephew would be nice, but it really doesn't matter. It's not my child anyway. It's clichéd, but… as long as it's healthy." 

"Wouldn't you like children of your own?" was her next question.

"Of course! What kind of question is that?" he said indignantly. "I´d love to have children of my own, but… oh, you know, it's that whole Lycantropy thing again…" Remus sighed. "A couple of years back, there even was a group of anti-werewolf extremists, trying to get a law that would ensure that every werewolf was sterilised. We're just not extremely popular on the baby-market." He smiled wryly. 

"God, that's terrible," Linda exclaimed, a disgusted look on her face.

"Tell me about it! That's probably also why it never became a law. Of course, there are still people who say that the law that forbids experimental breeding should include werewolves, but so far it has never happened." 

"Let's hope it never does." She looked on her sheet of paper. "Okay, I got a few short two-option questions for you. Just pick the one you like best."

"Okay."

"Uhm, well, easy one: tea or coffee?"

"Tea. Got more different flavours."

"Puppies or kittens?"

He stared at her. "Euh, kittens, I guess."

"Live music or recorded?"

"Live, of course."

"Boxers or briefs?"

Remus burst into laughing, then he saw she was serious. "No," he said. "No way. Not gonna answer that one."

"But why not?" Linda wanted to know.

"It's personal!" 

"I won't tell anyone!" she said. "My lips are sealed." She mimicked locking her mouth and throwing away the key. "Promised."

He glanced to his left and right, then bowed forward and said, almost against his will, "boxers."

"Yes, thank you," she said. "Okay, next one. Strangling Snape or strangling Peter?"

"Strangling Peter, definitely."

"How surprising," she said, with only a hint of sarcasm. "Uhm, hey, I believe that was everything I wanted to ask." 

"Really?" He tried to read what was on the sheet. "It seems so."

"Yeah. Pity."

"Uhuh." They were so impressed by it that the conversation rapidly turned into the exchange of one-syllable words. 

"So…"

"Well."

"Yeah…"

"So… now you've interviewed me," Remus asked, "what are you going to do with it?" 

"Oh, I'm… going to put it in a story and… I don't know yet. I actually hadn't really expected you to react to my letter! So… I don't know," she replied vaguely.

"Well, you can always make a story out of it and write a book," he suggested. "As long as you give me some credit!"

"Yeah, maybe I´d do that," she said.

"If anyone's interested in that…" 

"You'd be pleasantly surprised," Linda said cryptically. She checked her watch. "I really got to go." She started packing her bag, and was soon ready to go. "It's been really nice talking to you. To tell you the truth, you turned out even nicer than I´d pictured you!" 

"Gee, thanks," he laughed, embarrassed but at the same time pleased. "It's been nice talking to you too. At least now I know what it's like to be interviewed!" She laughed.

"Oh, I certainly hope professional journalists don't interview like me! But I really got to go. Say hi to Monster for me." And off she went.

Remus remained on his seat a few more moments. Something was bugging him; he'd never told her about Monster, had he? And, apart from that, had he ever told her about Chrystal? How _did _she know those things? 

He abruptly got up and practically ran out the Leaky Cauldron. He looked around, trying to find her. There – on the corner of the street, waiting for the traffic lights. He caught up with her.

"Wait a minute," he gasped. "How do you know about Monster?" 

She turned around. "What?" 

"I never told you about Monster," he said. "Come to think of it, I never told you about anything at all until today. How come you know everything about me?" 

She looked at him as if she was measuring him. "Does the word 'God' ring a bell with you?" 

He frowned. "I believe I've read about it. Don't Muggles believe he created everything?" 

"Yes, that's true. They also think God is everywhere, and He can see everything you do and He knows everything. Well, imagine you could meet God. That's all I have to say." 

Remus stared at her, and she stared back. He suddenly noticed her blue eyes – grey-blue with a dark blue edge. She had exactly the same eyes as that girl who appeared every day after the full moon, when he'd taken the Wolfsbane Potion! A crazy idea was taking shape inside his head. _Imagine you could meet God…_

Linda gently squeezed his arm. "I really have to go, sorry." She suddenly grinned, stood tiptoe and kissed him on the cheek. "Always wanted to do that, and now was my chance!" she whispered in his ear. He didn't know that, at that very moment, she was thinking: _okay Linda, there you go. Quoting from your own fict… _

"What?" he stammered. She smiled and took his hand, palm upwards. She traced the lines of his hand as if she was Trelawney.

"I predict many adventures," she said in a mystical voice. "The return of an old friend, many old friends actually, your family will grow, a bit of travelling too… sorry, no love for you… and all ends well." 

He stared at her as she stepped back, looked at the traffic light. 

"Look, it's green," she said. "Gotta go, or I´ll miss my boat. Remus, just… hang on. Life isn't that bad you know." She flashed a smile with a sort of half-wink. 

"Yes…" he managed to say. "I… bye." 

She smiled again and turned around, crossing the street. She first looked the wrong way – left, instead of right – but safely reached the other side. She turned around once more and waved again. He waved back, and she disappeared in the crowd. 

_Imagine you could meet God…_

**Really, really, really The End…**

**Author's note.**

And another fict finished! 

Here're some statistics for _Prisoner of the Moon_: 

- I started writing this fict on July 26, which means that it took me less than a year to finish this! 

- It covers chapter 5, 'The Dementor' to chapter 22, 'Owlpost again' of _Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban_. 

- It has, with an Arial 11 font, 83 pages, 58.406 words, 271.882 symbols without spaces and an astounding 330.313 symbols including the spaces. The story has 1.671 paragraphs, and 6303 lines…

- The very first scene I wrote – in my head because I had no paper at that moment – was the staff meeting. At first, it was a lot more violent, with Snape and Remus actually screaming at one another and using language that would not be possible with the PG13 rating… must have had something to do with the fact that my mood wasn't exactly great – I was on holiday in England, and it was unbelievably hot, just on that day Anne and I had decided to visit Highgate Cemetery, which involved a lot of walking… -sigh- 

Of course, I also quoted in this fict! A lot of quotes come from _Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban_, of course. Entire scenes are taken from that book, and I must thank the people at harrypotterfreakz.com for that, because you can download the book there – it would have been torture to copy everything from the book. Especially the Shrieking Shack scene! Apart from that, I used a quote from _Oz; into the wild_, by Christopher Golden. A book that I, by the way, bought in England… 

There's also a quote from _The BFG_, by Roald Dahl, and a really minor, somewhat altered quote from the movie _Sense & Sensibility, that nobody found because you really have to be an obsessed fan of either the movie or Alan Rickman to find it. It's in the Halloween-chapter, when Flitwick says to Remus: "Remus, my boy, do not think on yourself so lowly." So there. Talking about really, really obscure references… _

And in the last chapter, I used a quote from the movie _The Matrix. Strange movie…_

Uhm, I believe that was everything… oh, of course! I also quoted from my own fict, _Remus Lupin_. Apparently, I've come to the point where I've written so much that I'm starting to recycle my own dialogue… it's the quote "Always wanted to do that, and now was my chance" in the last chapter. Extra points for the one who finds the scene in _Remus Lupin_ where that was said. Hint: it's kind of a similar scene. 

Some random trivia: 

- The Arithmancy really works, so you might try it one day.

- In the end, Sirius started to look like Gary Oldman. Fortunately, Remus didn't start to look like David Thewlis…

- Lara, the number one Remus-fangirl, has a name with a meaning! There's a Roman myth about a nymph who just couldn't stop talking (hm, much like the Lara in this fict…) so Jupiter cut out her tongue (ouch) and ordered Mercury to take her to Hades. But he fell in love with her because she was really pretty now she held her tongue (no pun intended), and he married her, and their children became the so-called Laren, the Roman housegods. Who would've guessed… 

- There is a point in Remus' handkerchief collection, though he probably isn't aware of it. He probably thinks it just a weird hobby, but it turns out that werewolves, especially those in the Netherlands and in Belgium, have a fascination for all kinds of cloths, like – you guessed it – handkerchiefs! It's a way to escape a werewolf: throw your handkerchief at him and he'll start tearing it apart, giving you time to run away. Of course, when you meet someone who has threads between his teeth, it might be a good idea to check if he's a werewolf. You never know… 

One theme that turned out to be pretty important in this fict (unplanned, I swear!), was dream versus reality. The story starts with a dream-sequence, there is a flashback that is very dream-like, and of course the hallucinations Remus has after a week of Wolfsbane Potion. It must have something to do with the fact that I've seen both _American Beauty and _Road to Perdition_, both films by Sam Mendes, who has a dream-like style of filming. It probably also has something to do with the fact that I've had psychology lessons this schoolyear, and apparently Freud has rubbed off on me… _

And apparently, _The Matrix_ has rubbed off on me too… I had just written the very last chapter, when I realised that it was perhaps a bit too much like Neo meeting the Architect (for those of you who haven't seen _The Matrix Reloaded_: the Architect is the maker of the virtual world Neo lives in). Funny, the way people's minds works… 

Now, before I make my 'thank you'-speech, there's a particular issue I promised I´d give my opinion on (sigh). I'm of course referring to the Remus/Sirius issue. There have been lively debates on that, and I've even rewritten some parts of the story to show how easily it could turn into slash (which wasn't appreciated by everyone…). Please keep in mind that this is my very own opinion, and I don't mean to insult anyone with it. If you just hate slash with a passion and don't even want to think about it, feel free to skip to the next paragraph. 

As you probably know, I'm a Remus/Sirius shipper, which means that I just love fanficts with them two falling in love and stuff like that. As much as a shipper I might be, I'm not really a fan of really detailed gross ficts, and though it's actually the only slash-ship I can see happening in canon, I know perfectly well that JK Rowling´ll never write it. 

Here's the friendship as I see it: I like to see Remus and Sirius as brothers, but a little more than that, friends, with a little more. In my fict, in the Shrieking Shack, they acted almost as if they were just one mind in two bodies (like when they both stepped forward to pull Peter away from Harry). They complement each other so well! Sirius is lively and can benefit from Remus' calm personality, whereas Remus needs Sirius to be a bit more fun, to enjoy life instead of sitting in a corner and observe it. I really hope JK Rowling´s going to show us that in book 5. 

So that's my opinion. If there really are something like soulmates, then Remus and Sirius are probably a very good example of it. And if they want to expand it to being lovers, I personally wouldn't mind… 

So, that was it. Slash-haters can open their eyes now. Now, the thank you's! 

Thank you to my parents, especially my mom who borrowed me her book about herbs, which turned out to be really helpful. Thank you to the authors of the books I used. Thank you to Alan Rickman, who made writing Snape a lot more fun… and of course, big mayor thank you to JK Rowling, for inventing the characters! And even bigger, mayor mayor thank you to all you, my readers! Sequel? Oh, probably… very likely… 

But first… book 5! 

_Wednesday June 18, 2003…_

Yes, there's going to be a sequel! It's called "Wanderings of the Wolf" (thanks to Gilderoy for the title!) and it will at least cover book 4, and maybe even book 5 (I already know I'm going to hate writing the end of book 5…). I will post the first chapter of the story on Wednesday September 10, here on fanfiction.net. 

But first… vacation! Yes! I'm going to Scotland, to Loch Ness, and of course I'll make sure to dress like a Muggle and have my camera on me, because, as you probably all know, Nessie likes attention… J See you all in September! 

_Sunday Augustus 3, 2003. _


End file.
